My brain surgery has affected my face – and my self-esteem

My first tip is to fill your time with self-care, rest and joy to feel yourself again after such a huge surgery. That could include anything from joining a mindfulness group, seeing friends more often and booking massages – whatever makes you feel good.

Related: How do I find the right products for my sensitive skin?

My second tip would be to give yourself some grace; changes to our physicality can be hard to cope with on a personal and societal level. It doesn’t help that society’s beauty standards dictate that women should be as near to perfection as possible, but we can keep all of that at arm’s length. One of the best things about social media is that all forms of beauty are celebrated, so use it to find people who have been through what you have and explore how they’re dealing with it. Seeing others who look similar to us shows our brains that this is normal and can improve how we feel about our own appearance.

Are there any beauty treatments you really enjoy that don’t feel like work or upkeep? It could be having your nails done or trying a new hair colour. Perhaps it’s a spa day with friends. Booking a makeup lesson always gives me a boost, but if that feels daunting then call ahead and explain your situation so they match you with the right artist. Counters such as Bobbi Brown and Mac have well-trained makeup artists who will be able to help you feel more like yourself again. But above all, approach all of the above with exploration and experimentation without letting it tip into correction.

Got a beauty question for Anita? Email her at beautyQandA@theguardian.com