Howard Wise/jpistudios.com
French Press: Y&R's Phyllis (Michelle Stafford, r.) got the skinny on Summer's (Allison Lanier) success in blocking Harrison's jaunt to Paris.
There are so many clever lines uttered on soaps, and in the capable hands of daytime’s most dynamic actors, these sitcom-worthy lines truly tickle our collective funny bone. Here’s a sampling of the humorous dialogue that recently stood out to Digest editors.
Bold And Beautiful
(Katie once again offers her assessment of Bill.)
Katie: “You’ve always been self-assured and stubborn and pigheaded.”
Bill: “Self-assured, stubborn, pigheaded… yes, those are the ABCs of me.”
(Just before the Brooke’s Bedroom photo shoot, Hope and Steffy join Brooke and Ridge in the studio, where a wrought iron bed sits.)
Hope: “Oh, my gosh, is that the…. ”
Ridge: “Original bed from the original campaign? No, it’s not but very close.”
Steffy ( not-so-veiled snark ) : “Yeah, we had to retire the original one. Too many miles on it.”
Days Of Our Lives
(Holly implodes when Nicole suggests they move to Paris.)
Holly: “Mom, you don't even speak French. Neither do I.”
Nicole: “Everyone speaks English there.”
Holly: “And everyone speaks English here, not to mention this is where all my friends are.”
(Kate finds out if Marlena and Kayla accepted Abe's offer to star in Body & Soul .)
Kate: “Am I looking at the two new stars of Body & Soul ?”
Kayla: “I'm afraid not.”
Marlena: “Although it was a very flattering offer.”
Abe: “It was so flattering that they turned me down flat.”
Kate: “Well I am disappointed, but I'm not surprised, because we're asking two very successful doctors to give up all of their spare time for big hair and sequins.”
General Hospital
(Ava and Scott strategize for her custody battle and come up short on character witnesses.)
Ava: "You know, I have had it with your pessimism."
Scott: "Well, Ava, unless you've got a member of your fan club that's gonna knock on the door right now, we're in trouble."
Ava: "You're fired."
Scott: "Oh, okay. So what, you're going to hire Alexis, that way she can't testify against you? Oh, wait a minute. Hang on [ picks up his cell phone to ask the virtual assistant a question ]. Can a lawyer testify against their own clients?"
Ava: "All right. You're un-fired."
(Anna accuses John of having a vendetta.)
John: "What exactly do I have contempt for?"
Anna: "Me. Procedure. Ethical conduct of a representative of the U.S. government. You know, I could go on."
John: "Wow. I sound like a pretty crappy FBI Agent."
(Ava and Nina clash.)
Ava: "I never would have pursued Sonny intentionally."
Nina: "What, did you just trip and accidentally hurl yourself in his arms?"
Ava: "It was a bit more nuanced than that."
Nina: "Oh, I bet."
Young And Restless
(Summer shares with Phyllis how she was able to stop Kyle from going to Paris with Harrison.)
Summer: “My brilliant attorney, Elaine, found a judge that was sympathetic to my case and they approved a temporary injunction that prevents Kyle from leaving the country with Harrison without my permission.”
Phyllis: “That is great.”
Summer: “Right?”
Phyllis: “And Kyle will get your permission when, um, hell freezes over?”
Summer: “Yeah, not even then.”
(Billy shows Lily the new Abbott-Chancellor logo that he had mocked up and she isn’t pleased to see that Abbott is much bigger than Chancellor.)
Billy: “It’s the kind of logo that people will take notice of. It sends a message.”
Lily: “That A comes before C?”
(Lily is thrilled to hear from Devon that he and Abby are getting married.)
Lily: “Listen, when you’re ready to talk venues or taste some cake, call me.”
Devon: “I wouldn’t dream of picking between buttercream or carrot cake without you.”
Most Popular
Comments / 0