Songwriting about Jesus — believing musicians talk about the personal impact

Marie Tarbet was recovering from extensive cancer surgery in 2010 when her husband brought their 8-year-old daughter by for a visit. The family could hear other patients crying out and moaning in pain in the oncology ward.

Little Rebecca began singing “ Gethsemane ” without realizing that so many others could hear her down the hall. “The other patients stopped moaning and crying out and everything was still,” Marie recalled. “It was absolutely quiet in the cancer ward, except for the sound of her voice.”

Beauty dropped from heaven

Melanie Hoffman had written many other religious songs since her 20s, working closely with her husband Roger, composer of “Consider the Lilies” years earlier . But after deciding to create a musical tapestry of Jesus’ life from birth to resurrection for children, “ Stories of Jesus ,” she hit a wall: “How am I going to talk about the Atonement and his suffering? I really don’t know how I’m going to do that.”

The suffering of that final week of Jesus’ life is not always easy for children to understand. Hoffman almost reverted to another favorite song instead, “There Is a Green Hill Far Away” (also written for children ). But on a drive home from the mountains in 2007, the words “Gethsemane, Jesus loves me” struck her “like a thunderbolt.”

“It was so simple and powerful,” she said. “There is a way to do this,” she realized. For starters, “children can understand all the things Jesus felt,” which became the line: “He felt all that was sad, wicked, or bad. All the pain we would ever know.”

Children could also understand the simple story of what happened in Gethsemane, a place Hoffman had visited 10 years prior. The first time she set foot on Israeli soil, this young composer was overcome with palpable joy, as if the Savior was communicating to her personally, “I overcame. I did it. This is my gift to you.”

Now, as she recalled her experience walking up the hill to Gethsemane, the words “just came” — “Jesus climbed a hill to the garden still, his steps were heavy and slow. Love and a prayer took him there, to the place only he could go.”

The rest of the song came quickly. When she reached the bridge part of the song, it was “just building in my soul,” Hoffman said. “The hardest thing that ever was done, the greatest pain that ever was known. The biggest battle that ever was won. This was done by Jesus! The fight was won by Jesus!”

“I was just in tears by the time I finished writing that.”

“When I was finished, I was amazed at the simplicity and beauty of the song,” Hoffman said. She knew the song was special — feeling more like a “participant” in its creation and “grateful for privilege of receiving it” — calling it a “beautiful message just dropped out of heaven.”

Although Hoffman enjoys seeing adults sing “Gethsemane,” it’s hearing the children that brings her the most joy, with even 2- and 3-year-olds able to sing because the song is so simple. “It’s their song — it was sent to children.”

A cloud of witnesses

Hoffman is part of a rich tradition of believers creating sacred music — including 124 composers in the “Children’s Songbook ” of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and 148 individual authors of the lyrics. Another 186 individual composers and 210 lyricists are listed in the the hymnal for the Church of Jesus Christ.

Included among these creators are earlier Christian figures such as St. Francis of Assisi (” All Creatures of Our God and King ”), Martin Luther (” A Mighty Fortress Is Our God ”) and Charles Wesley (” Jesus, Lover of My Soul ”). A number of past prophets and apostles who led the Church of Jesus Christ are also featured, including Gordon B. Hinckley (” My Redeemer Lives”), Bruce McConkie (” I Believe in Christ ”) and Parley Pratt (” Come, O Thou King of Kings ”).

Fifty-five of the hymnal lyricists and 21 of the composers are women, including nine from Eliza R. Snow , second general president of the Relief Society . In the “ Children’s Songbook ,” 60 of the composers and 109 of the lyricists are women.

These are obviously a small fraction of the larger body of believers, most of whom never have and never will compose a song or lyrics like these. How does creating music about the Savior impact one’s own faith? To better understand what that experience is like, the Deseret News spoke with a number of current Latter-day Saint songwriters , including Melanie Hoffman, Shawna Edwards, Rob Gardner, Jenny Oaks Baker, Hilary Weeks and Kenneth Cope.

A miraculous melody

“It’s kind of a mysterious thing, writing a song,” Shawna Edwards says, admitting that she still often stares at a blank piece of paper and wonders, “Can I do this again?”

Then, she adds, “when I actually have a song, I look back and think, how did that happen?”

After serving as Primary music leader seven different times for a total of 20 years, Edwards recalls trying her hand years ago at a new song for a Primary theme of the month, “Jesus is a God of miracles.”

Accompanying the well-known stories of miracles, Edwards decided to focus the song’s end on the Savior’s final sacrifice, representing what she calls a miracle “relevant to every minute of every hour of every day.”

With this new focus on Christ’s Atonement, the song “just kind of wrote itself,” she says. “The Lord helped me on that one,” she adds — acknowledging that she often feels inspiration as a songwriter, “but not like I did on that song.”

After teaching the song to her Primary children, Edwards didn’t think anybody else would ever hear it, since she’d only dabbled on YouTube. “I had no idea it would spread like it has.” (The original and expanded versions have reached nearly 7 million people.)

“The Lord’s music miracles that I happened to write,” Edwards says, are “evidence to me of the Lord’s love.” She brings up the New Testament story of five loaves and two fishes — describing how she often feels as a songwriter like she’s putting a song in a basket, giving it to the Lord and saying, “This is the best I can do!”

“He made a miracle out of it. He took it and blessed it and made it great.”

Inspiration in another form

It was clear in other interviews that the process of inspired composition doesn’t always come so smoothly. Composer and conductor Rob Gardner, known for the oratorio “Lamb of God” — now a movie — made that clear. While many expect him to say something like, “I was sitting at the piano and heard this melody — then the lyrics came to me,” Gardner said, “That’s never how it’s worked for me.”

“It’s a struggle for me,” he said, “banging my head on a wall for six months till I come up with something I like and speaks to me.” Sometimes, he said, “I’ll think about it for 10 years,” then take “three months to write it.”

That process still has inspiration in that, he emphasized, “but not how we often talk about inspiration.”

A rich history of Latter-day Saint songs for youth

Concerned at the behavior of neighborhood boys, 44-year-old mother Aurelia Spencer Rogers spoke with Eliza R. Snow, then General President of the Relief Society of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. With approval from President John Taylor and called by Bishop John W. Hess, Sister Rogers convened the first meeting of the Primary Association in August 1878.

Deciding that “singing was necessary,” these early leaders encouraged children ages 4 to 14 to “make it sound as well as it should.” Two years later in 1880, two early collections of songs were published by Sister Snow: “ Hymns and Songs: Selected from Various Authors, for the Primary Associations of the Children of Zion ” and “ Tune Book for the Primary Associations of the Children of Zion .”

A succession of other collection of songs for children followed in subsequent years, including “ The School and Primary Songster ” (1889), “ A Collection of Hymns and Songs for Little Saints ” (1900), “ The Primary Song Book ” (1905), “ Little Stories in Song ” (1940), “ The Children Sing ” (1951), and “ Sing with Me: Songs for Children ” (1969).

“To the children of the Saints, in all parts of the world this little volume is respectfully dedicated,” William A. Morton wrote in the 1900 volume for “Little Saints,” concluding, “God bless you, my little brothers and sisters, and by His Holy Spirit tune your voices to sweetly sing His praise.”

Among the “suggestions to choristers” provided in the 1905 volume were to “not mistake shouting for singing” — reminding teachers that a child’s voice should remain “beautiful and sweet — music is not noise.”

Some of these earlier songs are unrecognizable to Latter-day Saints today, including: “Live for Something” or “Angel Whisperings” or “Around the Throne of God” from the 1880 book. Others are still beloved today: “Dearest Children, God is Near You,” “We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet” and “ The Spirit of God, Like a Fire is Burning .”

Those who may have wondered about the purpose of “Popcorn Popping (on the Apricot Tree)” in the more recent “ Children’s Songbook ” won’t mistake the purpose of some older songs for children, such as “Telling Lies,” “I’ll Never Use Tobacco,” “Don’t Kill the Birds” and “Put Me In My Little Bed.”

Reaching those struggling with faith

Some of those Primary children from yesteryear have since faced questions as a young adult that can weigh down their previous bright faith. For these young people facing a “deteriorating world we could never have imagined, even 10 years ago,” Edwards wrote another song.

“You say you’ll never leave me or shut me out. You say to trust your promises and not my doubts,” the song begins, before acknowledging the confusion many have come to feel as they grow up. “But I’ve waited for your help so long. It’s hard not to wonder where you’ve gone.”

“I’m torn between my faith and a world that bids me take a road to nowhere.”

When Edwards reached out to Conlin Bonner to sing the song, they scheduled a day to record early in the new year. When Bonner arrived for the recording, she could tell he was downcast — shocked to learn that his and Rachel’s 9-month-old baby had died the day before.

With Edwards’ protesting that he ought to return home, Bonner said, “I need to sing this song because the only thing holding us together is our faith in Jesus Christ.”

“I’d rather take the chance and just believe with all I have that you’re still there,” the song continues. “Cause if I walked away, Where would I find mercy? Where would I find grace? Who would heal what’s broken? Who would take your place? Give me second chances? Make beauty from the ashes?”

“I fought for every single line in that song,” Edwards said, describing how she worked over 25 pages of lyrics before arriving at the final words.

“I wanted those lines to really mean something and be authentic to how we really sometimes feel when we’re praying and we don’t get those answers.”

“Even if the feeling isn’t there,” the song continues, “if waiting is the cross I have to bear, even if the whole world walks away, I know I am yours, and I’m here to stay.”

A musical witness to the world

“It’s so wonderful — the news about Jesus is such good news!” says Hoffman — describing how her desire for many years has been to help children find “joy in the gospel, joy in Jesus.”

The songwriter has been touched by many stories she’s heard, such as a boy bullied at school who would go to a quiet place in a playground and sing “Gethsemane.”

To be able to “give the joy of Jesus to the world” is the “dearest wish” of her soul. On this level, Hoffman describes being shocked at how many other Christian churches have embraced “Gethsemane” — from Passion plays in Germany and parishes in Ireland, to performances in Africa, India, Indonesia and Dubai.

“When I listened to your song I felt something,” Edwards has similarly heard from believers of many different faiths, who are “impacted when they hear the truth, even if it’s not the truth they’ve always believed in.”

She recounts with emotion a nun in Poland who often sends her videos playing guitar and singing many of her songs. “She and I have completely different lives. She’s given everything up to serve him. I’m so inspired by her.”

“These connections with many people of faith all over the world — Catholics, Baptists, Muslims — and those experiences learning about their faith traditions, has enhanced my own.”

“I already believe he’s the Son of God and Savior of the World,” Edwards tells me. “I already believe that he and his gospel are the solution to all the world’s problems.”

The difference now is the songwriter has seen the Lord’s hand in her life and others around her so frequently, that it’s no longer merely belief alone that guides her. “It feels like I’ve had a front row seat to many, many miracles that he’s made in the lives of a lot of people that have written to me.”

“My doctor says l don’t have much time left and listening to your songs they warm my heart,” wrote Allan two years ago. “l don’t know much about God, but I do thank you for your songs l really needed to hear something.”

“My 57 year old sister just died from cancer,” wrote an anonymous woman a year ago — describing how they sang this song at her funeral. “I know she wasn’t given the miracle of having her cancer taken away but it doesn’t change that fact that he enfolded her in his arms and took her home....She is engraved on his hand!”

“I have played that song over and over and over — especially those first few nights,” another person told Edwards after the death of a loved one.

“Those stories keep me writing,” the composer says.

Note: For more from Rob Gardner, Jenny Oaks Baker, Hilary Weeks and Kenneth Cope, check out the accompanying article, “ An upsurge in musical tributes to the Savior is taking place .”