What surprised a British journalist after spending time with Latter-day Saints

Nina-Sophia Miralles was on her way to a pedicure after work when she was stopped by a “fresh-faced youth” who introduced himself as “Elder” even though, she said, “he had less facial hair than my grandmother.”

This 30-something journalist was asked if she had “any time to talk about God” and whether she was “free on Sunday” and had “time to come to church.” But showing all the signs of someone heading to an appointment, she was happy to hear the missionary say, “Hey, you look busy, it’s OK if you need to go.”

“Off I went to the beauty salon,” she said, “amazed that there was no speech, no preach, no pressure.”

This was the opening vignette in an in-depth article about Latter-day Saints featured last week in LONDNR , a media organization in Britain that believes the public is “ill-served” by gossip, fibs and “salacious” nonsense — promising instead to “tell wonderful stories” and “spark conversations” that help readers “escape the echo chamber that algorithms have strong-armed us into.”

The publication has a special interest in featuring “groups of people who actually do manage to find meaning and hope and community” in a world where, they say, “one of the greatest problems in the world is that there’s not enough meaning in people’s lives.”

Miralles founded the publication in 2015, and spoke to the Deseret News about her magazine’s approach and what stood out to her while writing this story. Following is a recap of eight different realizations that were “demystifying” to this journalist after spending more time with local Latter-day Saints in London.

1. Simpler and less controversial lives than media outlets portray

Jonathan Mace, a lifelong member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who used to manage the Harold Pinter Theater in London, tells Miralles, “We’re a lot more boring than people expect.”

Hoping to persuade others that your people are “boring,” of course, is only appealing when the perception has gone so far in another direction. And Miralles reflects on the impact of cynical media portrayals of the faith implying rigidity (tradwives) and naivete. “I think the ‘Book of Mormon’ (musical) did a significant amount of damage,” she says.

Despite being officially 134 years in the past, polygamy also remains a continuing misperception (which “erroneous allegations” Miralles says, if true, would make the faith “weirdly woke right now”).

Citing her own teenage exposure to “loads of documentaries about the fundamentalists,” she emphasized “just how little is known about the community” — with a number of friends and families telling her after hearing about her article, “Oh, like the ones who have loads of wives.”

“Nobody knew — nobody — not a single person knew that (polygamy) is actually not part of the church,” she said. “So there are a lot of misconceptions.”

When asked whether she minded being misunderstood, Latter-day Saint nurse Kenya Carroll describes feeling “less concerned about outside opinions” as she has become “more confident in myself and my relationship with God.”

“Just because something is very popular,” Mace adds, “doesn’t mean it’s right. And likewise, just because something is believed by a minority, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.”

2. A sincere love for Jesus Christ

When filling out surveys, Carroll describes often feeling forced to choose between “Christian” and “Latter-day Saint” — prompting her to remind this journalist about the full name of the church and that “we are followers of Jesus Christ.”

“That’s my definition of a Christian,” she says — with Mace adding that the church is trying to move away from the term “Mormon.”

“We’re just Christians. It’s a manifestation of Christianity, like Catholicism,” he says.

“I don’t have to be a member” Miralles says, “to see that everyone I have met — at this point, it’s been quite a number of people — has a lot of warmth, has a lot of compassion, is really trying to take care of themselves and their family.”

Spending time with members of the church, she says, was “a breath of fresh air” in a world of so much moral drift and cynicism. “They were a completely different kind of person … warm, kind, generous, compassionate and truly seeking to live by a moral framework that clearly meant the whole world for them.”

“It really made me feel, in a way, less alone, because there are people like this out there.”

3. A community welcoming of meaningful diversity

When Miralles attends Sunday service with a local London congregation in a “modest red brick,” she’s first “struck” by the diversity she witnessed. “I don’t think there’s a single ethnicity that isn’t represented.”

That’s quite a contrast to the AI rendering of a “stereotypical” Latter-day Saint missionary in her article, which the journalist suggests encapsulates the “biases associated with this diverse and open-minded community.”

“Why are we so judgmental about the Latter-day Saints?” the author asks — adding in our interview that people have an “almost snobbish view of religion.”

“It’s so easily dismissed,” she says, asking further, “Why are we desperate to stereotype certain groups in ways that nobody would ever be able to say about Muslims.”

“It’s actually funny, because I think you’re one of the most diverse religions ethnically,” she tells the Deseret News. “But that’s not known.”

Miralles adds her observation that the Church of Jesus Christ “does so much to expose members to, and teach them about, other belief systems” — quoting a visiting BYU student who talks about feeling “holy envy” when she visits a Sikh temple in West London, explaining that “witnessing their devotion to their God is inspiring.”

“All devotion is.”

4. Valuing big families and traditional marriage doesn’t require judging others harshly

Miralles asks two friends to share why Latter-day Saints get a “bad rep.”

“I guess it feels anti-feminist,” one says. “But I don’t know why. If they like big families, we should probably stop shaming them for it.”

Bigger families are “extremely uncommon here,” Miralles tells us. “To put it into perspective, I’m 31 and I’m the only woman I know who has had a child.”

The idea of having a larger family is “so unfamiliar that it immediately becomes suspicious,” she tells the Deseret News — leading some to assume women “must be forced to do it, or they must be brainwashed, because it’s so far away from the norm.”

Another friend suggests the faith “feels so old-fashioned” and isn’t affirming of gay marriage. Acknowledging that the church is known for large families and “the sacred union between man and wife,” Miralles asks, “Can that be reconciled in today’s society?”

One Latter-day Saint points out that Jesus “never shunned anybody and he spent his time around people who had chosen alternative lifestyles.”

“Just because I’m religious doesn’t mean I’m better than anyone or holier than thou.”

5. A nurturing community

After sacrament meeting, Miralles described being “deeply touched” by what she witnesses in the Relief Society — namely, “the open exchanges between women of completely different generations and backgrounds.”

From a single mother who spoke about God and other church members, to another who described additional scripture reading helping her feel less “grumpy at work,” Miralles observes that overall “problems were brought forwards and sensitively discussed, with others in the group sharing advice ranging from the purely practical to the deeply spiritual.”

“Most of the problems were common issues we all encounter,” she adds. “It’s just that the rest of us have to pay for therapy to get a sterile version of the wisdom and warmth I saw in the room that day.”

“That’s the beauty of congregating,” Carroll tells her. “We experience God in different ways and sharing that helps me to not put God in a box.”

“Their superpower is community,” Miralles concludes.

6. Behavioral boundaries, not dissimilar to those any communities have

Where other religious groups seem to have “relaxed in our lawless times,” Miralles highlights continuing firm boundaries in the faith when it comes to sexual relations and alcohol.

These and other guidelines may “repel our largely liberal progressive population,” she says, “even as we’re willing to cut out delicious gluten, commit to killer pilates sessions, and pay for webinars on sexual boundaries.”

“So why is it ‘uncool’ to be neatly dressed, polite and health-conscious, as all the church members I’ve met are?”

Her answer: Although most people in modern society know from experience the benefits of personal discipline, they also “want to be seen to support a world with no limits” and “not have rules mandated from on high.”

This can be “challenging in a world that offers so much” and maybe even lead sometimes to feel like “you’re missing out,” Carroll admits. “But I think it’s important to understand the why.”

“I’ve recognized that when I live my life a certain way I am able to hear God more clearly. I feel connected and I feel his love.”

7. Genuine commitment born from individual experiences of God’s goodness

“It’s not a burden or a hindrance that maybe I can’t watch the football on a Sunday morning,” Major told Miralles about his Sunday worship. “You have to flip it. ... I genuinely believe that taking that bread and water every week and spending five minutes thinking about Jesus Christ will be healthy for me. ... Two hours on a weekend is not that big an ask.”

All the Latter-day Saints she has met, Miralles says, “describe personal experiences with God” — sharing Major’s observation that “God doesn’t just put his hands on the lives of people with faith. It’s just the people with faith will recognize him.”

Carroll describes “taking a moment to check in with God” as a way to help her in a grueling career, and how her experience “learning to ‘hear him’ improves over time.”

When Major is asked whether he “always believed the religion he was brought up in,” he goes back to his mission in Chile. “You don’t spend two years away from your family in a foreign country preaching every day unless you’re already converted.”

8. Socialized in a certain direction, like all communities do

Miralles writes that she “can’t stop thinking” about that young pair of missionaries “who have chosen to travel across the world and spread the gospel” — a choice she describes as “so far from the orbit of my British adolescence, which hinged on binge-drinking and blackouts.”

When it comes to those insisting that religious young people are “brainwashed” or “indoctrinated,” the journalist gets candid: “But so was I — I thought taking handfuls of ecstasy made me an interesting person. Who are we to say whose programming is more harmful long term?”

Community socialization doesn’t disallow real choice, she notes — quoting Carroll, who often asks siblings who have stepped away from the faith, “forget about the church community, what do you believe about God?”

“It comes down to choosing to believe,” this Latter-day Saint woman says, “and asking, do we want to have a faith in our life?”

Miralles asks the missionaries point blank if they feel like they’re “missing out.” After describing others who have grown distant from the faith, one missionary said that leading “normal” lives hadn’t made these loved ones happier.

“I’m my happiest when I’m in church,” he adds.

“His face is quite literally shining with joy as he tells his story,” Miralles says. “And I don’t doubt him for a second.”