Don’t Stress the Small Stuff: Experts Share How To Avoid ‘Microstress’ and Reclaim Your Patience

From navigating traffic jams to dealing with difficult coworkers, you run a gauntlet of relatively small stresses from day to day. You likely don’t even notice them — but these small obstacles eventually create big problems for our wellbeing, creating what experts call “microstress.” Keep reading to discover how to avoid microstress and regain the peace of mind you deserve.

What is microstress?

Seemingly smallinsignificant moments of stress accumulate almost imperceptibly, until suddenly we feel like we’re drowning, observes expert Robert Cross, PhD , coauthor of The Microstress Effect . This tension is indeed called “microstress,” and despite its name, it has huge ramifications for our health and well-being. How might we identify these stealthy thieves of joy? “A micro stress might be anything that drains our capacity to focus or get work done, like interruptions; depletes our emotional reserves, like concern for someone we care about; or a moment that shifts how we set out to be in the world, like a testy interaction with someone.” Just knowing where these tensions tend to come from is key to curbing them.

Don’t Let Stress Rule Your Life: 10 Ways To Unwind and Find Your Inner Peace

Don’t sweat the small stuff: How to avoid microstress: 5 easy steps

1. Pinpoint hidden tensions easily

While some microstresses are easy to spot (smart phone, we’re looking at you!) others are a little trickier to pinpoint, which is why stress management expert Susan Biali Haas, MD, author of The Resilient Life , decided to use the notes app on her phone to find the surprising triggers that were getting to her over the course of a day. Just taking a moment to intentionally focus on these bugaboos yielded surprising results: “For example, I realized that when I wait too long to fill my dishwasher and run out of bowls at night, I get really annoyed,” she says with a laugh. “So, I just began to run the dishwasher earlier. Something so simple made a big difference.” Another micro move for the better: “The continuous pinging of text messages was interrupting me throughout the day, so I turned off notifications whenever I needed to focus, and it made my day so much less chaotic.”

2. Ask yourself three simple questions

When you feel overwhelmed, take heart that there are specific strategies you can use to reduce tension, promises Cross. He encourages asking yourself three questions: What are the interactions I can alter? (You may want to create a few boundaries for example.) Which stressors might I inadvertently be creating? (Like having too-high expectations for certain people in your life or a specific outcome.) Are there two to three stressors I should be rising above? (There may be a few pressures you can walk away from.)

3. Melt microstress in 30 seconds

“When people tell me, ‘I feel like I’m never rested,’ that’s often a sign microstresses have accumulated,” says Harvard- and Yale-trained holistic integrative psychiatrist, Marlynn Wei, MD. The good news is that micro self-care practices can counter this buildup. “Just taking 30 seconds to place your hand on your chest and repeating, ‘I am enough; I am grounded’ lowers stress profoundly.”

‘Help! I’m Too Hard on Myself’ — Experts Teach Tricks for Self Compassion

4. Sidestep microstress with gentle boundaries

The top source of microstress? You may have guessed it: relationship tension. That’s why Dr. Biali-Haas suggests creating simple, compassionate boundaries. “For example, there’s a person in my life I love, but phone calls with them can be very draining,” she says. “Recently, there was a moment when I was expected to call them — but I decided to text instead.” Sometimes boundaries can be subtle, dare we say, micro, and still yield major results.

5. Expand your circle(s)

People who are most resistant to rising stress levels have two to three groups “they are authentically part of outside of their immediate family or work,” says Cross. “This creates greater perspective, helping people find clarity without crisis.” In short, the more close ties you cultivate, the less microstress you’ll feel.

For more stress-melting strategies:

What Is Stresslaxing? Mental Health Experts Share Insights to Why We Feel Anxious About Relaxing

This Simple Counting Technique Can Ease Your Stress and Anxiety

How to Be More Patient: 6 Expert Tricks for Instant Calm