Q&A with Erika Ramos Paz – MA, LPC, LCDC - Author of Thriving with ADHD

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Erika Ramos Paz – MA, LPC, LCDC, is a seasoned mental health professional with over 15 years of experience. Holding a Master’s degree in Human Services and Counseling from Capella University, Erika is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor. Her compassionate and holistic approach to therapy, shaped by her early work as a crisis hotline volunteer and her experiences with diverse communities, allows her to connect deeply with clients. Living with bipolar disorder and ADHD herself, Erika brings a unique perspective to her practice, further enriched by her personal journey and her son's ADHD. Based in League City, Texas, Erika is dedicated to improving mental health outcomes and supporting families with practical, positive parenting techniques, as showcased in her book Thriving with ADHD: 30 Positive Parenting Techniques for Joyful Journeys. Her commitment to her clients and her expertise in mental health make her a respected and impactful figure in her field.

Author Q&A

What inspired you to write your first book?

To simplify, personal and professional experiences.

Growing up in the 80s and 90s with ADHD, I wish my parents had understood that my struggles with attention and hyperactivity weren’t due to a lack of effort or discipline. ADHD is a neurological condition that affects the brain’s executive functions, making it challenging to focus, stay organized, and control impulses. I often felt misunderstood and frustrated because my behavior was seen as intentional misbehavior rather than a symptom of a condition I couldn’t control. If my parents had known more about ADHD, they might have approached my difficulties with more empathy and patience, providing support tailored to my needs rather than punishment or criticism.

I also wish my parents had recognized the strengths that come with ADHD. While I faced challenges, I also had unique abilities like creativity, problem-solving skills, and a high energy level that could be channeled positively. Understanding these strengths could have helped them encourage and nurture my talents, boosting my self-esteem and helping me thrive. Instead of focusing solely on my shortcomings, recognizing and celebrating my achievements and potential would have made a significant difference in my development and self-confidence.

Raising a child with ADHD while working in the mental health field has been both a challenge and a learning experience. Despite my professional knowledge, I often find myself grappling with the daily realities of parenting a child with ADHD. There are moments when I feel overwhelmed and question my abilities as a parent. However, I remind myself that perfection isn’t the goal—it’s about being present, understanding, and supportive. I strive to create a nurturing environment where my child feels safe to express themselves, knowing that their struggles are met with empathy rather than frustration.

What I’m trying to do differently is to focus on my child’s strengths and celebrate their unique abilities. Instead of solely addressing the challenges, I make a conscious effort to recognize and encourage their creativity, energy, and problem-solving skills. I also prioritize open communication, ensuring my child knows they can talk to me about their feelings and experiences without fear of judgment. By fostering a positive and supportive atmosphere, I hope to build their self-esteem and resilience, helping them navigate the world with confidence and self-assurance.

Do you see writing as a career?

Writing books about mental health as a career, especially with my own mental health struggles, has been both rewarding and challenging. My personal experiences with conditions like ADHD and bipolar disorder allow me to offer genuine insights and empathy that resonate deeply with readers. This authenticity helps demystify mental health issues, reduce stigma, and provide comfort to those who feel isolated in their experiences. However, balancing the emotional toll of revisiting my own struggles while maintaining professional objectivity can be difficult. It requires a delicate balance of vulnerability and resilience, ensuring that I prioritize my well-being throughout the writing process.

Working in the mental health field adds another layer of complexity and depth to my work. My professional background provides a solid foundation of knowledge and credibility, enhancing the practical advice and strategies I share in my books. This dual perspective—both personal and professional—enables me to create comprehensive and relatable content that addresses the multifaceted nature of mental health. Despite the challenges, I am driven by a passion to make a difference, using my experiences and expertise to empower others on their mental health journeys. By sharing my story and insights, I hope to foster a greater understanding and acceptance of mental health issues, ultimately contributing to a more compassionate and informed society.

Do you recall how your interest in writing originated?

The passing of my grandmother was a profound loss that left a significant void in my life. Her wisdom and unconditional love were pillars of strength for me, and navigating life without her has been incredibly challenging. Around the same time, I experienced a change in my position at work, which added another layer of stress and adjustment. Balancing these emotional upheavals while raising a child with ADHD has been overwhelming, to say the least. The grief and increased responsibilities at work often left me feeling stretched thin and emotionally drained.

During this period, I became hypomanic, which further complicated my ability to parent effectively. Hypomania brought with it irritability and restlessness, making it difficult to maintain the patience and calm needed to support my child. Medication alone wasn’t enough to manage these symptoms, and I had to seek out additional strategies to cope. I found that implementing structured routines, practicing mindfulness, and seeking support from friends and mental health professionals were crucial in helping me navigate these turbulent times. These strategies provided a semblance of stability and allowed me to be more present and supportive for my child.

Through this journey, I’ve learned the importance of developing compassion for myself. Parenting a child with ADHD is challenging, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of self-criticism when things don’t go perfectly. However, I’ve come to understand that perfection isn’t the goal—it’s about trying our best and being there for our children in the ways we can. Embracing this mindset has helped me be kinder to myself and recognize that it’s okay to have difficult days. By acknowledging my efforts and celebrating small victories, I’ve been able to foster a more positive and resilient approach to both parenting and my own mental health.

Parenting a child with ADHD brought significant frustrations for my husband and me, often straining our relationship. The constant challenges of managing our child’s impulsivity, inattention, and hyperactivity left us feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. We found ourselves frequently disagreeing on the best approaches, which only added to the tension. However, when we started applying positive parenting strategies, we noticed a remarkable shift. Techniques like consistent routines, clear communication, and focusing on our child’s strengths helped reduce stress and foster a more supportive environment. These changes not only improved our child’s behavior but also brought more joy and harmony into our lives, strengthening our bond as a family.

Who designed the book covers?

Creating the book cover was a special process, especially since my father had the brilliant idea for it. He envisioned a borderline mischievous kid, much like my Nathan, extending his arms to his mother with a joyful expression. This image perfectly captures Nathan’s essence—our odd cookie and happy camper. We wanted the cover to reflect the reality of our lives, showcasing the love and happiness that define our family despite the challenges. My father’s idea resonated deeply with us, as it beautifully encapsulated the spirit of our son and the bond we share.

As we worked on bringing this vision to life, we focused on ensuring the cover was both heartwarming and true to our experiences. The image of Nathan, with his playful yet loving demeanor, reaching out to his mother, symbolizes the joy and connection that are central to our family. It was important to us that the cover not only represented our son accurately but also conveyed the warmth and positivity that we strive to maintain in our lives. By reflecting our reality on the cover, we hope to share a piece of our journey with readers, inviting them into our world and celebrating the unique and wonderful child that Nathan is.

Working with Rebeca from Fiverr, known as @rebecacovers, was an incredible experience. She truly captured the essence of our vision for the book cover. My father had the idea of depicting a borderline mischievous kid, much like my Nathan, extending his arms to his mother with a joyful expression. Rebeca brought this concept to life beautifully, reflecting the reality of our lives and the unique spirit of our son. Her creativity, attention to detail, and ability to understand and translate our ideas into a stunning visual made the process seamless and enjoyable.

What is your favorite quote?

Attending Psych 101 and a few other classes at the University of South Florida (USF) was a transformative experience that set the foundation for my future studies in Human Services. These initial courses opened my eyes to the complexities of the human mind and behavior, sparking a deep interest in understanding mental health. It was during these classes that I first encountered Sigmund Freud’s profound quote: “Words have a magical power. They can bring either the greatest happiness or deepest despair; they can transfer knowledge from teacher to student; words enable the orator to sway his audience and dictate its decisions. Words are capable of arousing the strongest emotions and prompting all men’s actions.” This quote resonated with me deeply, highlighting the immense power of language and communication in shaping our experiences and interactions.

Freud’s words have had a lasting influence on my daily life, reminding me of the importance of mindful communication. Whether I’m interacting with clients, colleagues, or loved ones, I strive to choose my words carefully, knowing they have the potential to uplift or harm. This awareness has also influenced my approach to parenting, especially when supporting my child with ADHD. I aim to use language that encourages and empowers, fostering a positive and nurturing environment. Understanding the impact of words has made me more empathetic and intentional in my interactions, both personally and professionally.

One of the most significant changes I’ve experienced is becoming my own best friend within my thoughts. Freud’s insight into the power of words made me realize the importance of self-talk. I began to pay attention to the way I spoke to myself, replacing negative and critical thoughts with compassionate and supportive ones. This shift has been transformative, helping me build a healthier relationship with myself. By treating myself with the same kindness and understanding I would offer a friend, I’ve been able to navigate challenges with greater resilience and self-assurance.

It’s crucial to talk to yourself as your best friend would. This practice not only boosts self-esteem but also promotes mental well-being. When we speak to ourselves with kindness and encouragement, we create a supportive inner dialogue that can help us overcome obstacles and achieve our goals. This approach has been particularly important in my journey as a parent and mental health professional. By modeling positive self-talk, I hope to instill the same practice in my child, helping them develop a strong sense of self-worth and resilience. Ultimately, embracing the power of words has enriched my life and empowered me to support others more effectively.

Thriving with ADHD is available for purchase on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Thriving-ADHD-Positive-Parenting-Techniques-ebook/dp/B0D9WW8BL6/

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