Senior Citizens Try To Name NFL Team Logos & The Results Are As Laugh-Out-Loud Funny As You’d Hope

Taking a page out of the Tennessee Titans' social team playbook, which yielded hilarious on-street interviews in Nashville where locals failed miserably at naming NFL teams by their logos, the Villas of Holly Brook senior living community took their best cracks at the same task. Such a wholesome scenario that features an added bonus: Zero risk of accidentally catapulting a Hawk Tuah Girl type to inexplicable, stratospheric fame . Might as well rattle some of the best ones off, although I'll leave you, reader, to find some of the revelatory alternate team names for yourselves in the video above. The NFL prints money at this point. I wouldn't be opposed to some teams changing their names IRL to the hysterical ones posited by the Broadway brainiacs and Holly Brook's sage old heads. One of my personal favorites from this team logo go-round was The Denver Fire Boys, because it sure feels like the Broncos are playing with fire. Sure, it helps that the Broncos have the richest ownership group in the league, but burning $85 million in dead money to move off Russell Wilson for the sixth-drafted quarterback in the 2024 NFL Draft, Bo Nix, sure seems like it has the potential for spontaneous combustion. https://twitter.com/MattFitz_gerald/status/1826672718835855542 Doesn't help Denver's cause that they're practically guaranteed two losses to the Chiefs in the AFC West division as is. I also think, despite Sean Payton's endorsement of their rookie class and their suspiciously low Over/Under 5.5 wins betting line , that they have one of the NFL's worst rosters . Let's transition and be a little more upbeat in this next phase, because who wants to talk about the Broncos' prospective doom and gloom for 2024? I'm in love with the Kansas City Chiefs' alternate name: Kentucky Fried Chicken. It'd be a fun meta commentary on how confusing it is that there's a Kansas City in Kansas and Missouri, so to break the tie, they just went full corporate fast food sponsorship with it on a complete whim. The Chiefs can still play in Missouri. Just make sure the logo has the portrait of at least Colonel Sanders' eyes looking over that iconic arrowhead logo. The Kansas City Kentucky Fried Chicken Chiefs. Or the Kansas City Chiefs, brought to you by Kentucky Fried Chicken. Transcend current reality's trappings to Idiocracy levels of peak stranger than fiction in committing to the bit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVraPbfP2rQ Finally, why don't we end with the Baltimore Ravens, aka the for-some-reason-singular alt name: "The Blue Woodpecker." I guess that's kinda scary-sounding. To give some credit to the actual team names in this instance, I'd stand pat with "Ravens." They have the whole bizarre Edgar Allan Poe thing going with their mascot, Poe, and that's already weird enough. And of course, I'll link you to Poe's classic "The Raven" poem . I'm convinced when Art Modell started up the Ravens by stealing the Browns away from Cleveland, setting their franchise back decades, they were scrambling for a mascot, grasping at straws, and legit couldn't come up with anything good. Is there another major sports franchise namesake in the world that takes inspiration from a venerated poet? If we wind up getting an NFL expansion franchise across the pond someday, they had better be named the London Lord Tennysons. That actually sounds awesome. Naming yourself for a poet must be a good omen. Look how much of a success the Ravens are. Food for thought, Goodell! What a journey, y'all. We started from football-ignorant plebs on the street and Hawk Tuah Girl, proceeded to gas up the merits of our elders' spin on things, and closed strong with allusions to S-tier poetry.