Get updates delivered to you daily. Free and customizable.
TooFab
Bachelorette Blowup: Jenn Turns Back on Love on Fantasy Suite Dates -- Is It 'Self-Sabotage?'
13 days ago
ABC
With only three men left, Bachelorette Jenn Tran finds herself drawn most to the man giving her the least, while she admits being afraid of the one ready to give her the world -- can she get out of her own way to find love?
This episode of The Bachelorette , perhaps more than any other before it, stands as the poster child for romantic dysfunction. As Jenn Tran comes to a realization about herself, is that enough to change impulses that could be self-destructive on her journey toward love?
"Your history with people who are emotionally unavailable," one relative tells her in next week's sneak peek. "How long are you willing to wait?"
That narrative drives through this entire episode, as Jenn finds herself on opposite ends of emotional availability with two of her suitors. Meanwhile, one of them is just a good time down the middle for Jenn ... which means he doesn't really stand out at all.
It was remarkable to watch Jenn fully aware that the only reason she is pulling away from Devin and holding back from giving in fully to him is because he's all the way there with her.
He's expressed he's in love with her, he's emotionally honest and vulnerable and real with her. He's present, compassionate, supportive. In other words, he's the perfect guy for her ... which scares her to death. And it might just scare her enough to push him away.
And then there's Marcus, who seems to draw her in with his emotional unavailability, even as he has a perfectly valid feeling for holding his heart in reserve.
Remarkably, the more Marcus admits he's not there, the more Jenn is drawn to him. And the more Devin tells her he's fully there, the more she pulls away. This is where a psychologist on staff and actual relationship therapy sessions for the leads would be incredible.
Jenn has this realization about herself with Devin, but doesn't seem equipped to change her ways. She also seems fully unaware that she's drawing closer to someone who's not at all there emotionally for her, setting herself up for possible disappointment later.
"Even though I'm not there yet, I would not be sitting in front of you right now if I did not think that was possible. So I just want to continue to be hopeful. You deserve all the love in the world and I'm trying to get there," Marcus told her on their overnight date.
Should you ever be trying to get there when it comes to love? Is that an attractive trait in someone you love? It's like a subtle pressure, either self-inflicted or from outside, rather than just feeling what you feel at the pace you feel it.
"I am in love with Marcus. My biggest hope is that he is in love with me by the end of the week and he does want to propose," Jenn said. So she wants the guy who doesn't (yet) want her. That seems healthy.
Devin had the first Fantasy Suite date and maintained his consistent devotion and love for Jenn. We do have to give her credit in that even though she appears to be fighting with all of her might to love him solely because he loves her, she's at least honest with him about it.
Now, if she could just realize that she's expressing her love to the most emotionally unavailable guy there while soundly pushing away the most emotionally available guy there because he loves her -- what progress she could make on her own relationship issues!
She has, after all, expressed a history of bad relationships. Sometimes there's a pattern there, and one that she plays an active role in.
As the date progressed, it became more and more evident that Devin is all in and he's ready and he's actually a pretty perfect match for Jenn long-term. It was also clear that she was pushing him away for just those reasons, while fully aware she is committing "self-sabotage" -- seemingly unable to stop herself.
"Devin just is saying all the right stuff to me, doing all the right things, and that's hard for me to accept, I think," she told Season 13's Molly Mesnick before the date.
On the date, they went for a helicopter ride over a volcano and a dip by a waterfall. For the first time, Devin held back a bit during dinner as he didn't want her to fell pressure that he really was needing to hear her say "the big L."
But she was honest with him, telling him that he checks every box as the perfect guy, which just makes her want to run away, "because there's gotta be something bad here, right?" He must be too good to be true.
Their overnight date appears to go well, with Jenn again saying she's growing closer and closer to Devin. But when he says "Love you" to her at the farewell, she replies with, "Okay." You can even see her fighting with her worst instincts to just accept his love.
For the second Fantasy Suite date, Jenn met up with Jonathan and man was this an incredibly blah date. This was Week 2 or 3 stuff, not Week We're-About-To-Get-Married.
Jonathan decided to make it a "cheat day" as Jenn was all about the sweets during their shopping day, and he's not really a sweets guy. It just felt like they were still this disconnected that a date would be planned that wouldn't really suit him at all.
They admitted to having a lot of fun together and "strong feelings" for one another, or maybe it's just that Jenn has strong feelings because Jonathan doesn't really seem to be there emotionally.
They did have a meaningful heart-to-heart about Jenn growing up Vietnamese in a white community with some self-inflicted shame about it, trying to hide that part of who she is. Jonathan, meanwhile, is half-Black and half-white, but was taught by his mother to have pride.
It was a great and meaningful and sensitive conversation, but again soemthing that probably should have been happening during their One-on-One weeks ago. This is so close to the finish line and it just doesn't look or feel like either one of them are there.
Something tells us -- and we have no basis for this -- that Marcus reminds Jenn a lot of some of her exes. While he's been through so much through his years with his sister in the foster care system, he is almost completely emotionally unavailable, with sky-high walls to protect his heart.
Like Jenn was honest about her "self-sabotage" realization with Devin, Marcus is fully aware of his own self-sabotaging tendencies by keeping himself so guarded.
He's that afraid of allowing someone into his world and getting hurt again. Jenn, who's been betrayed and lied to before, is that afraid of the other shoe dropping and her fears that it's too good to be true are right. Neither of them will be able to find a healthy love until they work on this part of themselves.
The more distant emotionally Marcus is, it seems, the more drawn to him Jenn is. It actually broke our hearts a bit to see her so determined to tell him that she's in love with him, knowing that he's not there with her.
In some ways her expression of love toward Marcus, who's not allowing himself to be available for her, is the same as Devin's expression of love toward her, who's not allowing herself to be available for him.
Perhaps the most amazing line of all is when Jenn said, "It's terrifying to be in love with somebody who isn't there yet." It certainly sounds like she should understand exactly where Devin's head is at, but she's not seeing the parallels.
As for Marcus, Jenn said, "I am in love with him. To not tell him would be a disservice to our relationship. So tonight I need him to let his walls down."
Meanwhile, Marcus' take was to admit, "I'm not in love with Jenn right now. It's scary to tell someone something that they probably don't want to hear."
They got to swim with mantas after dark, seeing them glow, and enjoyed a romantic dinner where Marcus strained as much with his own walls as Jenn was on her date with Devin. The more he couldn't get past them, the more she leaned in.
The overnight portion didn't offer Devin the clarity he needed, and we're not sure Jenn got everything she needed from Marcus on theirs. Nevertheless, she feels that he's stable, grounded, and brings her a sense of peace. The problem is that he doesn't appear to be in love with her.
Can he get there in time? Would it be sincere if it was something he was trying to force himself to do? Could be, if he was just accepting what his heart was telling him, just as Jenn should be doing about her own feelings with Devin.
As Devin struggles with his feelings and has a moment of clarity about his own heart, we immediately saw what we think will play out for the rest of the season. If we're brilliant at deduction, this might turn out to be a spoiler. For now, it's baseless speculation.
Nevertheless, Devin realized his regrets that he hadn't told Jenn what he needed emotionally at this point with a proposal so close. He talked it all through with Jesse Palmer and had a heartbreaking moment of realization, deciding he needed to talk it through with Jenn.
The reality is that he's ready and ready now. And if Jenn is not -- which certainly seems to be the case considering her declaration of love for Marcus (who's not ready) -- then Devin seems ready to leave. He put his heart out there and it's still hanging out there, so it's time to grab it and go home.
Now, here's what we think will probably happen, based on the cryptic clues and the teaser for next week's big finale.
We think Devin is going to go through with it and leave the show when Jenn can't reciprocate his love, still refusing to allow herself to accept that he's just there and real, with no "other shoe" ready to drop.
Marcus, then, will become her final pick and he'll push himself beyond his own comfort zone to propose to her. Will that be sincere or him really hoping he'll grow to love her after the proposal, knowing his own hangups are holding him back emotionally? We won't know for sure.
But we suspect she will reject him at the proposal, as we did see, and then decide she needs to stop sabotaging her own future happiness. As we've seen all season, it's always been Devin. He's been green flags all day every day and somehow, to Jenn, that was a red flag.
So in the end, she'll run to Devin, knowing full-well that he could reject her. But Devin also said that he'd wait as long as it took her to get there. He may have walked away to protect his heart, but that doesn't mean he won't still be waiting. If she comes to him, he will open his heart back up to her.
So will that be how it plays out? We'll all find out together.
"It's bothering me that I haven't heard it yet." --Devin (to Jesse about Jenn not saying the l-word)
"People say Devin looks like Pete Davidson. But after last night, I'd say he's better than Pete Davidson -- in every way." --Jenn (after Fantasy Suite)
"Definitely worth the cheat day." --Jonathan (eating sweets with Jenn)
"I can't believe I'm in bed with Mummy Man from Night 1." --Jenn (about Jonathan)
"She's said she's falling. I think she's a bit ahead of me." --Marcus (to Jesse)
"I spent years running from love, avoiding it … I don't want to miss someone incredible sitting right in front of me." --Marcus
"I'm trying to figure out if I am in love with her but I'm lying to myself about it, or if I'm trying to find feelings that just aren't there." --Marcus
I hate how this show pushes an engagement. it's been two months. This is why most of these "relationships " fail. once they get into the real world, with real problems and challenges, they don't make it. I respect Marcus being honest and with himself that he's not there yet. It is OK. Jenn has suffered one heartbreak after another so I get the hesitation, besides having great guys and you can't have them all. Maybe she'll realize that she's just too broken and not fully healed like she thought and will go home alone.
casey
12d ago
amused reading this. a mental worker would be good. if you think another dream date will get u there that's crazy. romance is easy in fantasy locations. how many couples stay together. my favorite is the golden bachelor. where do they find these losers
Get updates delivered to you daily. Free and customizable.
It’s essential to note our commitment to transparency:
Our Terms of Use acknowledge that our services may not always be error-free, and our Community Standards emphasize our discretion in enforcing policies. As a platform hosting over 100,000 pieces of content published daily, we cannot pre-vet content, but we strive to foster a dynamic environment for free expression and robust discourse through safety guardrails of human and AI moderation.
Local News
