Cowboys Bludgeon Bumbling Browns: Top 10 Whitty Observations

A Dallas Cowboys team known for failed finales put together a dazzling debut, winning consecutive openers for the first time 2012-13 in a 33-17 romp over the hapless Cleveland Browns.

Our Top 10 observations:

10. BETTER LATE THAN NEVER? - We had to wait (suffer) 238 long days between the Cowboys' embarrassing playoff loss to the Green Bay Packers and Sunday's kickoff in Cleveland. All that patience was rewarded with ... that start?! The Cowboys' first play was a holding penalty on receiver Jalen Tolbert, followed by a sack of Dak Prescott when Dalvin Tomlinson beat future Hall-of-Fame guard Zack Martin. Dallas was down, 3-0, 5:27 into the game. It got much better. Very quickly.

9. DAZZLING DEBUTS - Sure, the Cowboys have had devastating ends to recent seasons. But maybe we can crown them Week 1 Champions? Last year they embarrassed the New York Giants in the opener, 40-0. Combined with this 16-point obliteration (Cleveland scored a garbage touchdown with :29 remaining), make it a 73-17 edge in the last two season-openers. Since 1999, in Week 1 openers the Browns are a league-worst (and almost unbelievable) 3-22-1

8. INFLATION, YOU SAY? - We're old enough to remember being staggered by a 1973 TV show that featured a re-engineered robot/human the "Six Million Dollar Man." Could not fathom six million anything, much less dollars. Gulp. Before Sunday's kickoff Prescott became the NFL's first "SIXTY Million Dollar Man," signing a four-year, $240 million contract extension. This might be even more unfathomable: The highest-paid player in NFL history has never even made it to a conference championship game much less a Super Bowl.

7. TURPIN TIME - Dallas dominated the first 30 minutes and the game felt done at halftime with a 17-point lead. But the unofficial end came early in the third quarter when KaVontae Turpin took a punt 60 yards for a touchdown to make it 27-3. It was Dallas' first punt return for a touchdown since Ryan Switzer had an 83-yarder against Washington in 2017. With Turpin's score and four field goals by Aubrey, the Cowboys got 18 points directly from special teams.

6. WOW OF WEALTH - Between Prescott and Cleveland's Deshaun Watson, that was $461 million of guaranteed money playing quarterback on the same field. Any Cowboys fan grumbling that their team is overpaying Dak, consider this: The Browns are paying essentially the same amount for Watson. Yuck.

5. AWESOME AUBREY - Admit it, you wanted to see Brandon Aubrey try a 71-yard field goal right? After drilling a 57-yarder, the Cowboys' kicker lined up - and made, for the record - a 66-yarder just before halftime. Inexplicably, they let the play clock run out for a delay-of-game penalty to negate it. But instead of do-over, coach Mike McCarthy elected to let Dak throw a Hail Mary that feel harmless short around the Browns' 20. Aubrey is now 12 of 12 all-time on kicks of 50+ yards.

4. SUPER SCHEDULE? - On a chaotic NFL Sunday dominated by Dak's contract, Tyreek Hill's police incident and Ja'Marr Chase's contract, this news barely made a ripple. But rapper Kendrick Lamar was announced as the halftime entertainment for Super Bowl LIX, to be played February 9 at the Superdome in New Orleans. Bad news: The Cowboys have only the 9th-best odds to make the Super Bowl. Good news: They've won two of their five championships in The Big Easy.

3. DAK DOES DALLAS - If Prescott plays out the length of his new contract, he will become the longest-tenured starting quarterback in franchise history at 13 years. Troy Aikman played 12 from 1989-2000. Roger Staubach and Tony Romo had eight full seasons. Prescott is embarking on his ninth. Aikman interviewed on ESPN Sunday and asked him about the relationship with Jerry Jones. "I understand Jerry is going to be Jerry and sometimes make comments that easily could make me mad," Dak said. "He's a mad scientist in a way I understand. It really doesn't make me mad. Not at all."

Related: WATCH: 'Turpin Time' Cowboys Lead 27-3 After Electrifying Punt Return

2. IMMEDIATE DIVIDENDS - New linebacker Eric Kendricks had an interception and 1.5 sacks. Fifth-round rookie cornerback Caelen Carson temporarily made us forget DaRon Bland. A young offensive line featuring two rookies in Tyler Guyton and Cooper Beebe kept Prescott relatively clean (only three sacks against a Cleveland defense led by reigning Defensive Player of the Year Myles Garrett.) And the league's highest-paid quarterback (Prescott: 179 yards and a touchdown) and the second-highest paid receiver (CeeDee Lamb: 81 yards receiving) proved their worth. So far, so good.

1. AWFULLY OFFENSIVE - Micah Parsons was in the backfield sacking Watson and up in the air deflecting passes that Kendricks intercepted. Carson seemed like he had his hands on several almost-turnovers. Add it all up and Mike Zimmer's Cowboys defense absolutely smothered the hapless Browns in the first half. We've been covering the NFL since 1986 and don't ever remember this stat: In the first half the Browns produced one first down. One! Not surprisingly, the Cowboys - who had 13 first downs - led, 20-3. Dallas' defense finished with six sacks and two interceptions. Which was more blah and bland: The Browns' offense or Tom Brady's analysis?