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    Football: a big old goofy sport

    By Chuck Hamilton,

    2024-09-11

    The late, great singer-songwriter John Prine may have said it best when he wrote “It’s A Big Old Goofy World” in 1991. I realize Mr. Prine wasn’t referring to college football when he penned the lyrics to yet another of his numerous cleverly written efforts during his illustrious career. For some reason however, that song popped into my head over the past weekend, upon discovering the results of several college football games.

    The first time the word “goofy” came to mind was when I found out Notre Dame lost at home to Northern Illinois. The Fighting Irish entered the game favored by 28.5 points and were expected to win with relative ease. They were coming off an impressive win at Texas A&M, and they were supposed to enjoying their first home game of the season. It didn’t work out that way, and to rub salt in the wound, Notre Dame paid NIU $1.4 million to come to South Bend in what ND figured would be an easy win.

    Full disclosure however: I drank the Kool-Aid as well and believed the Irish had a legit shot at running the table this season, and said just that after they knocked off A&M. Just a reminder to y’all that if you want to win some money, just bet the opposite of whoever I pick to win. When I saw the result on my phone Saturday evening, my initial thought was, “Well, that’s just goofy.” My second thought was that the 16-14 score was not the final, but rather a partial score. But it was correct.

    How in the world could that happen?

    One explanation is that’s just the way it works in the world of college football, the same as it is in virtually any other sport. Teams that play with a purpose and a belief that they’re going to win will take advantage of a favorite who comes into the game not completely focused, and/or looking ahead to another opponent. It happens more often than you think, and it was the story of several games, both collegiately and in the NFL, over the weekend.

    Upsets happen, and some are more surprising – or goofy — than others.

    *****

    FLAT CATS DRUBBED BY GAMECOCKS — While watching the what turned out to be a mismatch in Lexington Saturday afternoon, I witnessed another upset. But the way the game played out, you would’ve never realized it was an upset at all, after South Carolina dominated from start to finish in a 31-6 thrashing of the Wildcats.

    The official final line listed Kentucky as a 9.5-point favorite, which seemed more than reasonable. After all, South Carolina had barely escaped with a 23-19 win in their home opener vs. Old Dominion, while the Cats blanked Southern Miss 31-0 in a lightning-shortened game.

    The UK coaching staff undoubtedly stressed the importance of the SEC opener, but it must’ve fallen on deaf ears. The team played with little to no urgency from the get-go and after falling behind 24-6 in the third quarter, sent many of the 61,349 to the exits.

    As expected, the dissatisfaction from the Kentucky fanbase of head coach Mark Stoops came through loud and clear following

    the game on social media. Stoops took over a moribund program and resurrected it, which lifted the expectations of the UK faithful. No longer are they satisfied with a 6-6 or 7-5 regular season and an appearance in a minor bowl, and some fans are not pleased with some of the coach’s comments asking them to “pony up” and support the program financially.

    After watching this beatdown, the Cats may miss out on going bowling at all this season.

    *****

    TITLE CONTENDERS PUSHED TO THE LIMIT — Oregon and Alabama escaped upset bids, with the Ducks getting past Boise State 37-34 and the Crimson Tide pulling away with a 28-point fourth quarter to put away South Florida 42-16. Some observers have labeled both teams as national title contenders, and both are expected to earn a bid to the 12-team playoff. However, as we have already seen, nothing is for certain, and the surprises and upsets are just beginning.

    In addition to the upsets suffered by Notre Dame and Kentucky, several other favorites across the country were not as fortunate as the Ducks and the Tide. California, a 10.5-point underdog, went to Auburn and defeated the Tigers 21-14. Michigan State was a 7.5-point dog at Maryland, and knocked off the Terrapins 27-24. Illinois toppled 19th-ranked Kansas 23-17 after being tabbed a 5.5-point home dog. Syracuse got past Georgia Tech 31-28 after entering the game as a 3-point underdog.

    *****

    BEARCATS SUFFER COLOSSAL COLLAPSE – In another example of a goofy game, the Cincinnati Bearcats fell 28-27 to Pittsburgh in Nippert Stadium Saturday afternoon.

    UC was unable to hold onto a 27-6 lead – a lead that arguably should have been even larger — with 4:50 left in the third quarter. The Panthers took advantage of a Cincinnati penalty to keep their eventual winning drive alive, and nailed a 35-yard field goal with 17 seconds left on the clock to take its first lead of the afternoon.

    Scott Satterfield, who was let go by Louisville after a 25-24 record in four seasons, is already feeling the heat in the Queen City. He was not a particularly popular choice among UC fans when he got the job and he also came in with the unenviable task of replacing Luke Fickell, who departed for Wisconsin. With the loss to Pitt, he’s 4-10 in his second year at UC. The other obvious challenge for Satterfield and the Cats is playing in the Big 12, making winning as many nonconference games imperative.

    *****

    BENGALS LAY AN ENORMOUS EGG — Another dreadful performance by a team playing at home capped off a disappointing weekend for teams in the region.

    This time it was the Cincinnati Bengals’ turn to send their fans home ticked off.

    Paycor Stadium was a sea of orange as the Bengals kicked off their season hopeful to atone for recent past early season blunders and send the 66,214 in attendance home happy and confident heading into Kansas City next week. The team was wearing orange pants to go with an orange jersey for the first time, and they may want to rethink that getup. In fact, burning that uniform may be a good idea.

    Calling the Bengals’ performance uninspired is being far too kind. They played like the bad old days when the team was known as the Bungles in nearly every facet of the game. They made poor offensive calls and decisions, they tackled like they’ve never had to do it before, both lines were outplayed, and the stars did not step up when needed.

    Joe Burrow made a few of those questionable decisions and did not look like the Burrow that has led the franchise to new heights during his tenure in Cincy. He played like he didn’t fully trust his line or his receivers, and his confidence – something he has never lacked – looked shaken.

    If the Bengals hope to stay within 20 points of the Chiefs on Sunday, they will need to see the old Burrow, and his teammates will have to step it up as well.

    But who knows?

    In the goofy NFL, maybe they go to Arrowhead and surprise the KC Swifts and pull out a miraculous victory.

    *****

    A REMARKABLE LIFE – One of the key figures in my favorite movie passed away this week.

    James Earl Jones possessed a world of talent and one of the most incredible voices of all time. His performance as Terence Mann in Field of Dreams was understated but integral to the story, and he accomplished so much on the stage and screen during his 93 years. An iconic actor, Jones was what is known as an EGOT winner (having earned and Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony) in several memorable roles.

    An amazing fact about Jones should be an inspiration to anyone attempting to overcome a weakness. He overcame a severe stutter to become known worldwide as “The Voice.”

    In a 1986 interview, he explained that the issue became so overwhelming that he went 10 years without speaking.

    “I was mute from first grade through freshman year of high school. Mute because I just gave up talking, I can’t cut it.” The little speaking he did during that time was to his dog and the animals on the farm where he lived.

    Through the help of his high school English teacher, Donald Crouch, Jones learned to speak again. Jones was writing his own poetry at the time, and his intuitive teacher told him a poem he wrote was so good it must have been plagiarized. He said that the only way Jones could prove otherwise was to recite it from memory in front of his class. He did precisely that, shocking his classmates, and gaining confidence in the process.

    He later said that his stutter never really left him but he found a way to work around it, eventually using it as a strength instead of a weakness. The intentionally deliberate and imposing delivery from Jones was a result of hard work and adapting.

    “It’s just another example of, you find yourself with a weak muscle and you exercise it. And sometimes that becomes your strong muscle,” Jones said.

    *****

    Following are the final lines of “It’s A Big Old Goofy World”:

    So I’m sitting in a hotel

    Trying to write a song

    My head is as empty

    As the day is long

    Why it’s clear as a bell

    I should have gone to school

    I’d be wise as an owl

    Stead of stubborn as a mule

    *****

    “Obscurity and a competence. That is the life that is best worth living.” – Mark Twain

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