Transformers One Review: Thor Then Meets the Eye

Transformers One , only the second animated Transformers theatrical film ever, isn’t quite as cynical as the first, which infamously killed off many major characters so that the kids watching would feel compelled to buy all the new ones. It does, however, introduce newish designs for a whole new line of toys, plus a play-pattern that allows for differences in scale and a lack of a humans. And it’s made by people who grew up on the first one, for the same folks to drag their own kids to now. However rote the first act may be — and it is — the moment the lead robots gain the ability to transform and level up is calculated to kick your inner “OH MY GOD IT’S OPTIMUS PRIME I LOVE HIM!!!!” Into gear.

You don’t have to be proud of having a Hasbro corporate product hardwired into your emotions that way. Just so long as you admit it, you’ll probably enjoy this latest iteration, despite the lack of the two elements that made the ’80s cartoon stand above the rest: the heroic voice of Peter Cullen, and that theme song, which for reasons unknowable and incomprehensible, has never been used in any of the movies since the 1986 one.

Cullen, The Herd

Cullen still has a great voice, but it’s hard to pretend he’s young, so now we have Chris Hemsworth as Orion Pax, the pre-Prime version of Optimus (like Sith lords, Autobots take new names based on their personality when they level up to Prime status). It’s always odd when animated movies cast people do not do their natural accents, but Chris Hemsworth trying to sound American is an aural dead ringer for Mel Gibson. While that may have negative connotations for modern audiences, for animation fans it brings to mind Rocky the Rooster from Chicken Run, and Orion Pax is kind of the same character — affable yet reckless, loyal yet partly delusional (in a good way?).

Transformers One tells the story of how Orion and D-16, the future Megatron ( Brian Tyree Henry ) went from being best friends to arch-enemies — in a nutshell, both break free from a charismatic, cult of personality leader and have different responses to it. In this particular moment, that feels quite relatable, except for the part where both of them are convinced of the truth by actual evidence.

Miner Threat

Both our protagonists begin as humble miners, unable to transform, which is kind of like having a Popeye movie where he doesn’t eat spinach (just kidding, Robert Altman; please don’t haunt me!). The movie delivers what some fans have complained the Michael Bay movies never did: set on Cybertron, it includes no humans, just robots. Without humans, though, you lose the sense of scale and awe at these things — they’re extremely agile and lightweight for being giant metal machines. The robot city and ever-transforming outdoors are pretty and intricate, but for better and worse, it’s easy to lose sight of the design work as the characters become the focus.

The robot faces, for some reason, seem to be most directly inspired by Transformers Prime, like silver sheets with holes in them. If those designs are among your favorites, cool. We’re allowed to favor different iterations.

Once the four main characters, who also include Elita-1 ( Scarlett Johansson ) and Bee ( Keegan-Michael Key ) gain their transforming powers, it’s of to the races, sometimes literally. Director Josh Cooley directed Toy Story 4, the first one to feel like it was made by an actual action figure collector, and he shows some of that love off here, with numerous partial transformations that feel like what kids would do to make their figures more deadly, or half-do when they can’t figure out the instructions.

Whole Latta Love

Unlike the first generation of cartoons, it helps to know that the toy movie is in the hands of someone who loves the toys, and he, or perhaps the casting director, deserves a medal for casting Steve Buscemi as Starscream. The actor has played a minor ‘bot in the Bay movies already, but evokes the late Chris Latta (while transcending him) so well, one hopes he’ll be Cobra Commander as well in the upcoming G.I. Joe crossover.

With that said, the large-scale battles sometimes lack the coherence of a clear point of view, and often feel like a bunch of toys being thrown together. It’s also odd that the villainous Quintessons don’t have five faces — didn’t anybody realize where their name specifically came from? It’s silly to discuss canon, perhaps, when Transformers long ago declared that all continuities count, though it’s so far back in the timeline that it could be canon to some other shows and movies, perhaps. Sure, it contradicts one of the Bay movies, but they also internally contradicted each other, because Bay cared for continuity about as much he does for kid’s toys.

Adventure Time

Transformers fans can take their lore super-seriously, and may have feared this would be a more humorous film, but it’s not a comedy. The jokes are enough to keep things from being too earnest, and aimed at parents as much as kids — Bee at one point makes a Key and Peele reference, and Elita tells Orion very early on that, “You don’t have the touch. You don’t have the power.” Transformers One is an adventure movie, and stays focused on that. This isn’t the sort of cartoon that tries to make you cry, though it certainly has a moral and political point of view. Optimus Prime’s catchphrase has even been modified to “Freedom AND AUTONOMY is the right of all sentient beings,” in response to a plot point that could be read as a vague reproductive rights analogy.

But then, some of us cry anyway when Orion finally becomes Optimus, and Hemsworth shifts his voice into that familiar John Wayne-inspired bass. Don’t judge us.

Grade: 3.5/5

Transformers One opens in theaters Sept. 20th.