20 Infuriatingly Sexist Comments Said To People Who Underwent Invasive Procedures — Sometimes By Their Own Doctors

Going through any invasive procedure is already challenging, but it becomes even tougher when people insert their unwanted opinions.

When a healthcare professional questions your medical procedure based on your age, marital status, or gender, it adds another challenging layer.

Their responses often reveal deeply ingrained sexist beliefs, impacting a patient's ability to make health decisions and receive adequate care.

So, I asked the BuzzFeed Community , "Share the most sexist and frustrating comments you've heard from doctors after undergoing invasive procedures." Here's the feedback, as well as comments from some Reddit users:

1. "Back in the '70s, my mom had to have my dad sign his permission for her to get her tubes tied."

2. "Australia is pioneering the use of a home kit for pap smears. You don't need to attempt to reach your cervix, just rub a swab along your vaginal walls and send it to the lab. If HPV isn't detected, you're okay. I just did my last pap smear with a stuffy gynecologist and got my results back: since we did not detect any HPV, we didn't examine the cells from your cervix. So what the hell did I go through that uncomfortable exam for?! The pap smear was invented by a man almost 100 years ago...why are we so resistant to change?!"

3. "I was told to take an Advil after having a chunk of flesh removed from my cervix without any local anesthesia. I couldn't even stand up straight after the procedure."

4. "When I had my vasectomy last year, I had to go through a very patronizing hour of 'counseling' where I had to repeat about 30 times to an old woman that I understood the procedure, my wife agreed, and that I definitely, definitely didn't want more children. Very frustrating."

5. "The first offensive thing I was told was that I had to wait 30 days to think it over as if I hadn't spent a couple of months already thinking about it. The second offensive thing I was told was that I shouldn't get my tubes tied because, as a Native American woman, I have a responsibility to have lots of Native American babies to counter against the genocide. I have a long family history of birth defects and a couple of chronic health problems."'

6. "Since I was a teenager, I have battled a serious stomach issue. Every test always ends with the same diagnosis. It's a rare disease mostly found in postmenopausal women. So, every doctor dismissed it as having any chance of being the problem and said I was imagining it. Last year, a doctor finally gave me medicine for this problem after seeing the irreversible damage it's done to my stomach. He said that while yes, it usually affects older women, in some rare cases (as in mine), it can affect men as well. He said it has nothing to do with biology but everything to do with family history. It took me 30+ years to finally find a gastroenterologist willing to treat the illness and not look at it as, 'just a female problem.'"

7. "I had to have my gallbladder removed due to severe pancreatitis. After the surgery, I was wheeled back to my recovery room, where my parents were waiting. I was in pain, but it felt manageable enough, and I assured my parents I had gotten through it okay. Then, the nurse helped adjust my bed to lie down, and I was suddenly in terrible agony. I felt like my chest was going to burst, and I could hardly breathe. And, though my surgery was abdominal, the pain was focused in my shoulder and neck area. I was shaking with tears pouring down my face, and my parents started freaking out. The nurse starts patting my hand and asking what's wrong. When I grit out that I was hurting, she tutted and told me I was fine when I came in, so what was really the matter? Was I anxious about something? What was making me sad? When I'm crying out that no, I really am hurting something awful, she starts making jokes that I must be hamming it up for my parents."

8. "I was told I had HPV from an obstetrician. After a very invasive procedure, where he only gave me local anesthesia and my mother could hear me crying from the lobby, he told me I probably got it from one of my many partners. I was married and lost my virginity to my husband. I never went back for follow-ups due to the humiliation and pain. A year later, I was experiencing health issues and went to Planned Parenthood . They did an exam and listened to me. I was properly diagnosed with cancer. Three months of chemo and losing my opportunity to have children. If it had been caught earlier, I may have been able to do so."

9. "I was 28 when I decided that I wanted a permanent solution versus having to remain on the Pill. I consulted my gynecologist, who was very supportive, but her staff definitely were not. The student doctor literally told me I didn’t want kids because I didn’t like them, nodding as if this suddenly all made sense to her. I bluntly told her that wasn’t true; she was taken aback and could only muster an 'Oh.' The nurses who came into the room after asked me what my imaginary future husband would want. I provided them the same bluntness, telling them it didn’t matter and I was doing this for myself. They nodded in unison. It was so degrading and mind-boggling how women in healthcare were so ingrained with misogyny. My mother also tried to sabotage the surgery by repeatedly angrily calling my doctor, which my doctor informed me of. Thankfully, I had a solid doctor who was really weirded out by my mother and proceeded as usual."

10. "It took me visiting three doctors — all women — before I was able to get an IUD. The first two said they only do the insertion if I’ve already had a child, and the third did it reluctantly but said she 'usually doesn’t do that.' It wasn’t a question of whether or not my insurance would cover it; it did. It was simply because I wasn’t married yet and didn’t have children, even though I was in my 30s and I explained that my partner and I didn’t want kids. Also, the doctor who did the IUD insertion rolled her eyes and told me to 'just breathe through the pain' when I yelped as she inserted it. She didn’t tell me how painful it was to insert, and she didn’t offer any numbing medication."

11. "30 years ago, I was a single mom with a 7-year-old son. At that time, I decided to have a tubal ligation. My provider, a male, told me my husband OR significant other would have to agree for me to have the procedure! I told him I had neither. He seemed confused at my answer. After a couple of minutes, he finally agreed to perform the procedure. I thought he was going to ask me for my parents' approval — when I was 30 years old."

—Anonymous

12. "Not an invasive procedure, but after an examination, an orthopedic doctor told me that my arm, 'Wasn't broken; blonde, blue-eyed women feel the pain more.' Of course, it was broken."

13. "I'm a man, so I can only comment on vasectomies, but I think it really depends on the doctor. I’m in the US in Michigan. My doctor required that my wife come to one appointment before it was done to sign off that she agreed. Had she come and said no, he wouldn’t have done it."

14. "My best friend tried to get her uterus taken out due to severe endometriosis multiple times. Because she was under 30 with one kid, they wouldn’t do it, 'because her FUTURE husband might want kids' and prescribed her more 'pain management.' It took her five years of this shit to find a doctor that looked at her chart and still took two years under that doctor before she (yes, the doctor was female too) decided she would take it out for her."

15. "My aunt has uterine cancer and was denied a hysterectomy because 'what if she wanted more kids in the future?' Meanwhile, she has two sons, both starting college."

— poisonistic

16. "I had to fight for four years to get a medically necessary hysterectomy and still needed to argue that it wasn't up to my husband whether or not we would have more kids. The best part is, because of how messed up my uterus was, I couldn't have more kids anyway, but I still needed to argue about whether or not he consented....bullshit."

17. "Just got my vasectomy and am currently resting up with frozen peas. The doctor asked me quite a few questions, including how my wife felt about it. When I got to the part about having a 14-year-old daughter who definitely doesn't want a younger brother or sister, he was good. No issues."

18. "In 1995, my husband had to sign 'his permission' for me to get a tubal ligation. No clue what the current situation is, but it was a thing at least."

— iwasarealteenmom

19. "I had my tubes tied after my C-section. I knew I was having it done. I signed all the consents and paperwork beforehand. My doctor and surgeon knew it was happening. While I was strapped down, drugged up, and having a whole fucking human pulled out of me, this bitch of a nurse looked right at my husband and asked, 'Dad, are YOU sure that you want HER tubes tied? You may want another baby!' My husband about stabbed her, told her to f—k off and do her job or get the f—k out. My husband was pretty pissed after, and we ended up not paying for the tube-tying portion of the bill."

20. "It took me 12 years of fighting with doctors, having doors slammed in my face, and one (male) doctor went so far as to tell me no man would want to marry me if I couldn't give him children. All of this was WITH my partner's support. I finally found a doctor who gave me the right recommendation and I managed to have the procedure completed in 2020."

What are your thoughts about these sexist remarks? Let me know in the comments.

Note: Some submissions have been edited for length/clarity.