Satire: How Would You Handle These Ethical Dilemmas?

I'll give you some choices.

ethicsPhoto byCartoon by Lambert-King

We used to hear more about ethical dilemmas than we do now. Possibly because ethics have become so scarce. With the dissolving of ethics, what few ethical dilemmas we hear about have changed in nature. So let’s take a look at modern ethical dilemmas.

1: Your next-door neighbors throw wild parties on the weekend.

What do you do? Option one: Shake your fist at them when you see them outside. Option two: Fight fire with fire and drown out the noise with your own Lawrence Welk-themed party.

2: Somebody is stealing your lunch at work and you believe you know who.

What do you do? Option one: Resort to some kind of electronic surveillance to catch them in the act. Option two: Spike your lunch with a potent laxative and follow the trail of evidence.

3: Your best friend starts selling life insurance.

What do you do? Option one:Hide from your friend until he inevitably goes broke and gets another job. Option two: Immediately start your search for a new best friend.

4: You are in the health care industry and interact with people with serious health care issues. They aren’t easy to be around.

What do you do? Option one: Tell them to make lemonade out of lemons. Option two: Tell them, “Sure you can’t breathe and your heart occasionally stops but I’ve got problems too. It’s not all about you.”

5: Your friend is on life support and you and another friend are visiting the friend on life support.

What do you do? Option one: Call dibs on his big-screen TV. Option two: Check for a will before instituting a snake draft of your friend's belonging.

6: You go to a public bathroom and discover there are two stalls, one handicapped and one not. You’re not handicapped and there is nobody else there though you have seen some handicapped guys in the building.

What do you do? Option one: Figure you can take care of business in the luxury that is the handicapped stall. Option two: The same as option one, but with the idea of faking a disability if a handicapped person comes in.

7: Your wife asks if an article of clothing makes her look fat.

What will you do? Option one: Of course it does. (Yeah, like that’s a real option. Option two: Go esoteric and say, “What is big.” Or, “Compared to what?” Honestly, there is no good option here.

8: Your friend is at a social gathering and his fly is open.

What do you do? Option one: Let him know, but only after telling numerous other people. Option two: Wait until he’s surrounded by people and subtly make barnyard noises.

If any of those options to the above moral dilemmas appeal to you, seek professional help.