Open in App
  • Local
  • U.S.
  • Election
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Lifestyle
  • Education
  • Real Estate
  • Newsletter
  • Upworthy

    Free yourself from worrying about things you can't control with the help of a simple image

    By Tod Perry,

    6 hours ago

    https://img.particlenews.com/image.php?url=3cDMkN_0vZxHnBm00

    In a world of 8 billion people, a septillion stars , and 17 different ways to stub your toe while walking through your bedroom, there are infinite things that we can all spend our time and emotional energy worrying about. The problem is that many important things, whether it’s politics , the environment , or the economy, are realistically beyond our control.

    Yes, we can vote, make sound choices with our money, and recycle, but our actions will have little effect on these issues no matter how much energy we spend worrying about them.

    So what do we do? From the ancient Stoics to modern-day psychologists, great thinkers believe that if we refocus on what we can control or influence, we’ll be much happier and empowered to make real changes in the world.


    What is the Circle of Influence?

    The theory is known as the circle of influence and it can be explained with a simple graphic with 3 circles:

    https://img.particlenews.com/image.php?url=1DxXTx_0vZxHnBm00 via The Open University Creative Commons

    Circle of control:

    “There are actually very few things we control. We control what we do with our bodies (hopefully); how we act, what we think (easier said than done, I know), and how we react to events or people (again, not necessarily easy, but doable!),” Diane N. Solomon Ph.D., The Narrative Nurse Practitioner writes at Psychology Today. “Pretty much everything else lies outside our circle of control. No matter how hard we try, we won’t be able to control those things.”

    The ancient Stoics defined this area as our “opinion, motivation, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever is of our own doing.”

    This is where we should focus the vast majority of our attention because our energies are best used helping ourselves, our families, friends and those in our community. In many ways, that makes more sense than spending our time and energy hoping that someone in Washington will do the right thing or that people in a country across the globe will reduce their carbon emissions.



    Circle of influence:

    “What’s in our circle of influence? Maybe what the teacher or principal does after our child gets called out for sprinkling glitter on the seat of the teacher’s chair—or maybe not. We influence our communities or even our state by volunteering for a neighborhood watch or committee, writing letters to the editor, protesting for cleaner water, human rights, or acting on any passion of ours,” Dr. Solomon continues.

    But, in most circumstances, our influence over these areas is minor and they are definitely beyond our control. So we should spend less time worrying about areas of influence than those within our circle of control.



    Circle of concern:

    This is an area that we focus on at our own peril. When we spend time on things we have no influence or control over, we squander a lot of our precious resources, one of the biggest being time. Because we can’t control these things, they make us feel more anxious than the things we have power over. “Most people spend a lot of time focused on things in their circle of concern,” Dr. Solomon writes. “If that’s you, the more time and energy you spend worrying about your circle of concern, the worse you probably feel, because it's almost totally outside your control.”

    She says the most important thing to do when we're feeling anxious is to ask ourselves, “Am I thinking of things in my circle of concern?” If so, it’s time to refocus our attention.



    Focusing only on the things we control may make us feel like we're neglecting important problems that need our attention. Can a good person go through life without worrying about wars overseas, the plastic island in the ocean the size of Texas, or women’s rights in Afghanistan?

    William B. Irvine , a philosophy professor and author of “A Guide to the Good Life,” says it’s more about being honest with ourselves about where we can be helpful. “The circle of control is not a prescription for detachment or indifference. It is a way of focusing our attention and energy on what really matters, so that we can live more fully and authentically,” Irvine writes.

    Expand All
    Comments / 4
    Add a Comment
    Luci C
    1h ago
    You don't control jack. It's all in your genes, your DNA determines how big a fool you'll be in life, and how much suffering you will allow yourself to feel. You can mitigate some of that, but you can't get away from it all.
    J
    1h ago
    this is all BS. all I know is if things don't start looking up for my son daniel in laporte county indiana lifewise,job wise and in all ways I will never ever again care what happens to anyone's kid under 18 or adult ever again. I just will never give a rats ass about anyone's kids regardless of age and will have no empathy for anyone ever again. my son has been hurt and ridiculed all his life and it's time for the shit to stop!!!! they keep making him work and look for jobs when he was getting disability and they took it away so now everytime he gets out of jail he can't find a job and they put him back in. this if he dont get a job they will make him live and work in gary indiana? I doubt that's going to be a good situation. another set up for failure 60 miles away from family and friends. its intentional with bias parole and probation. he needs his disability back before he ends up fucking dead!!!!!!!!!
    View all comments
    YOU MAY ALSO LIKE
    Local News newsLocal News
    psychologytoday.com1 day ago
    Total Apex Sports & Entertainment1 day ago
    psychologytoday.com10 hours ago

    Comments / 0