From Brain Disorders to Masterpieces: The Power of Abstract Cartooning
2024-09-19
Who Seizure Your Art by H Mikel Feilen
I'm sure you would agree with me that creativity is a mind thing. Ergo, it only makes sense that if someone has a brain disorder of some kind, it may influence their artistic endeavors.
I was diagnosed with epilepsy back in 1970 when I was a sophomore in high school. Over half a century later I am still dancing with the monster but with the grand mal seizures happening less frequently.
Researchers have found that people with brain disorders, especially epilepsy, often have a flair for painting, drawing, poetry, writing, and all other creative talents.
It is impossible to know if epilepsy has had any significant influence over my art but I have a suspicion the creature may have a hand in it.
There are moments when my art is extremely therapeutic. It helps me deal with angst after a seizure and it allows me to express what I and other epileptics feel.
My drawings can also help non-epileptics understand a little bit about what it is like to wake up after having a seizure or how scary an aura is - signaling what is to come.
For people who suffer from epilepsy, art like this tells their story. Many of my friends who share my lot in life, see these drawings and paintings and can relate because of the oddness of my art.
Being inside the mind of an epileptic is a bizarre and damn scary place to be. Epileptics are forced to live with the knowledge that the monster could come for a visit at any time. For me, if the first part of a grand mal seizure - the aura phase - hits me I know an uninvited guest with its bags packed is headed my way to spoil my day.
If you have ever had a grand mal seizure and the Aura stepped in between your ears and behind your eyes, you know what is next. The drawing above is titled, "Walking in a Daze!" because that is what an aura is - a daze, a blur, and a vacuum of thought.
You can ask me my name while I'm in an aura and it takes me a second or two to understand the question. Not only that but when I do understand what you are saying, it still takes another few seconds to remember what the hell my name is.
This is how my art has been beneficial to me and my friends who have seizures because they can identify with the feeling the drawings instill.
The art is indeed weird but so is dealing with epilepsy.
I have now been an epilepsy warrior for 54 years. What I have learned about the people who suffer from the disease is that often they feel ugly inside and out. My journey is to assure people who have the beast making them feel freakish and unattractive, that they are gorgeous.
Remember epilepsy warriors: Epilepsy is not who you are - it is simply what you have. Mikel
Regardless, of whether it is epilepsy or some other form of a monster, we all have them. By learning to deal with our challenges it allows us to have some autonomy in our lives.
Sometimes these obstacles strengthen the person we are. When we force ourselves to feel blessed instead of feeling cursed we are more understanding, empathetic, and able to withstand the day-to-day stress life dishes out.
I would imagine that most people have experienced days of unrelenting depression. Days where you are ready to throw in the towel and call it quits!
If you have epilepsy, depression is a common symptom, and the proverbial towel is never too far away. The ability to help express this common feeling to my fellow sufferers, allows them to smile. They realize they are not alone when feeling these emotions.
Here is an odd twist about waking from a seizure for me. Whenever I come to after seizing, I always feel slightly amorous and ready for love. My wife and I have been married for 36 years and she has taken care of me many times after a seizure.
However, the first time my wife was tending to me after one of my head-bashers, I think she was taken aback at my romantic advances as I awoke. She soon realized that my wishes were short-lived as I rapidly fell back into a deep post-seizure snooze.
Art and epilepsy are not uncommon bedfellows. My brain disorder art has been my companion for more than half a century - helping me relax, smile, and express what means the most to me,
Being alive and in love - determined to be victorious!
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