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Envy of a Narcissist. How a Narcissist Envy: 10 Typical Tactics
5 days ago
Narcissists are pathologically envious. Envy is extremely painful for them. So extreme reactions, excessive rigidity, harshness or any hysterics of narcissists should not surprise you in this case. This is natural.
The specifics of narcissistic envy
- Envy is the pain of the narcissist, which constantly reminds him of his weaknesses, of his insignificant True Self.
- It is very difficult for a narcissist to cope with his/her envy, so he/she can be simply unbearable during such periods.
- The object of envy #narcissists perceive as a threat. A threat to their power, their exclusivity. Suddenly others will compare another person with a narcissist and understand that the latter is not so perfect and good
- Other people's success, beauty, happiness remind the narcissist of his weakness. Often narcissists compare clearly, objectively specific qualities, parameters and understand that the game is not in their favor
- A narcissist can envy anyone, not just a rival or competitor. He can envy just a stranger or his own child.
- Instead of using envy as a starting point for working on oneself, the #narcissist enters into his usual defenses and gives out reactions. Hence the not very attractive
How does a narcissist behave when he is jealous? Here are typical strategies.
The first five concern behavior when the narcissist tries to outplay the object and win back the powers of the ideal and beautiful. The second five concern cases when the narcissist realizes that he is powerless to quickly outplay the person, so he begins to act using more hidden methods.
1) General devaluation
Tries to belittle the merits and results of this person.
2) Demonstrative indifference
Even when it would seem that in order to observe basic rules of decency it would be worth at least maintaining a positive tone, saying a couple of kind words, the narcissist can demonstratively not notice, not see.
3) Pulls the blanket towards himself
He tries with all his might to distract other people's attention from the object. He starts telling something about himself, throwing in different topics. The main thing is that the narcissist remains in charge, so that everyone looks at him.
4) Oppresses and humiliates
He can also openly show his anger. He can start attacking, bullying, and denounce the object of his anger, often without having a rational basis for this.
5) Evil irony
He jokes, ridicules, and is ironic. Only this looks more like some kind of hysterical attack.
6) Assignment of results
Tries to turn everything around as if it were the narcissist's own success. It was done on his/her advice, at his/her instigation, etc.
7) Merge with an object
The narcissist not only appropriates the success and results of this person, but also begins to use all of this together with him/her, as if living his/her life.
8) Control and persecution
May get angry and try to track: where is the object, what is it doing, is it still dangerous or not so anymore.
9) Rough copying
Just repeats. Sometimes it reaches the point of absurdity: manners, clothes, changes the field of activity, etc.
10) Withdrawal into oneself
Often the narcissist plunges into a depressive state, he or she is overcome by frustration. If there is someone close nearby, then all the blackness and all the bile is poured on them.
I go through all 10 every single day myself, and have been for over 8 years now!!! I swear I have PTSD and haven’t even left the relationship yet! I want to leave, the only thing keeping me here is the child we have together, but I know it’s in her best interest to get her away from all of this while she is still young. I want my life back, for myself but most importantly, for my children and family. Great article 👍🏼
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