Tim Benz: For the Pirates, releasing Rowdy Tellez short of a bonus is remarkably on-brand

The Pirates are taking a lot of heat for releasing Rowdy Tellez four plate appearances shy of a $200,000 bonus.

Don’t get mad, though. You saw all the standing water on the warning track during that rain delay last month, right? Any idea how much a new drainage system costs? Pfft! Plumbers don’t pay for themselves these days.

Paul Skenes’ last two starts are coming on the road. That’s one fewer appearance for him at home that they could’ve squeezed out of this current series against Milwaukee. At $14 a beer for one more “Skenes Day,” maybe the Buccos could’ve gotten ol’ Rowdy his bonus that way.

Speaking of water, all that H2O the grounds crew needed during this September drought in Western Pa. is probably going to make the PNC Park PSWA bill skyrocket! I mean, every business has to make ends meet. Am I right?

OK, clearly I’m being sarcastic.

However, given the penny-pinching reputation the Pirates have carved out for themselves with moves like this one over the past few decades, if you came to find out one of those reasons was that the actual cause of ditching Tellez short of triggering his bonus, would it shock you?

Would it really, really surprise you?

New costumes for the Pierogies. The rising costs of meat at “Manny’s BBQ.” Extra security spent on Livvy Dunne during Skenes’ starts.

If you found out any of those cost concerns were the red flag for this organization to save $200,000 in the multi-billion-dollar machine that is a Major League Baseball franchise, would you truly be stunned?

With Bottom Line Bob Nutting running the show, you shouldn’t be.

And that’s the true humiliation of this move by the Pirates. The true embarrassment is that it is all so believable. It is just so on-brand.

Come to think of it, what am I saying? It is their brand. This is just so … Pirates.

Of course, general manager Ben Cherington denied that the release of Tellez had anything whatsoever to do with the contract incentive.

“Zero factor in the decision,” Cherington said Tuesday.

Right. Remember, this is the same guy who said of Oneil Cruz on Aug. 18, “All I can tell you right now is he’s our shortstop.”

By Aug. 25 Cruz was a center fielder. So, pardon me if I’m a bit dubious of Cherington’s transparency.

That said, spare me the histrionics of claiming the players’ union or MLB need to investigate or intervene. The Pirates had every right to do to Tellez what they did.

The fact that they felt the need to do it is head-scratching, though. Maybe that recouped $200,000 can be well-spent on hiring a public relations firm to teach this front office how to read a room.

Should the Pirates have sucked it up and let Tellez get four more plate appearances to hit 425 for the season and activate the bonus? Sure. Given the three games they made the guy pitch they should at least feel obligated to round up, shouldn’t they?

Yet, I can also do without the waterworks on behalf of Tellez from the fans and media. Do we really have to martyr this guy? We have three rivers around here. I don’t need all of Pittsburgh crying a fourth one for him.

Most Pittsburgh baseball fans were trying to boo him out of town earlier in the season anyway. And as far as the media goes, Rowdy hated us.

I know this because I was standing by his locker once earlier this season when we approached him to talk and he grumbled, “I hate media” before acting like he was moving a mountain to mumble out 90 seconds worth of half-hearted soundbites.

So I really don’t care at all about Rowdy’s bank account. What I do care about is how the Pirates are perceived. And this organization is a repeated pinata in baseball circles. It is a laughing stock. This decision doesn’t help.

Just add this one to the list. File it with Randall Simon hitting the sausage mascot in Milwaukee with a bat, Derek Bell escaping to his “Operation Shutdown” houseboat, Will Craig’s first base rundown, Rodolfo Castro’s cell phone and Ke’Bryan Hayes’ sunflower seed snack in the middle of a play.

In an orchard full of low-hanging fruit, the Pirates have just provided another shiny apple for us.

Like most things with the Pirates, there is probably a worm in it somewhere.