4 Life Lessons We Learned From Natasha Rothwell’s ‘How To Die Alone’

Source: Hulu / hulu

Natasha Rothwell’s “How to Die Alone” is a love letter to women who want to shift from living on autopilot to thriving in self-acceptance and self-love. The series follows Melissa (played by Rothwell), a 35-year-old people-pleasing airport worker who undergoes a metamorphosis that dismantles the life she once lived in survival mode. Her love life is non-existent, she has zero boundaries, and her apprehension about getting on a plane stops her from experiencing the world.

All of that changes when a freak accident almost costs her her life. Mel challenges herself to lean into the untapped side of her personality that allows her to take risks, stand up for herself, and go after everything she knows she deserves.

4 Life Lessons We Learned From Natasha Rothwell’s ‘How To Die Alone’

This series is a masterclass on how to rewire your brain to unlearn the negative thoughts we secretly feed ourselves through words, actions, and the limits we assign to our lives. Mel is single, but that’s because she has a warped perception of herself, making it challenging to see how coveted she is. She’s also consistently prioritized the needs of others to her own detriment.

In each episode, viewers witness Mel evolve from a timid woman desperate to be loved to a confident woman who realizes she embodies the love she wants. She makes a multitude of mistakes, but with each one, she sheds a layer of herself. Mel is relatable on many levels, and her comedic delivery makes these tough life lessons easily digestible.

Lesson 1: Childhood trauma can dictate who you become

Most people don’t realize they’re people pleasers until adulthood. Mel’s family dynamic explains why it was difficult for her to see her light. Her mother and older brother Brian (played by Bashir Salahuddin) constantly criticized her until those insults became her armor. As a child, she likely put everyone’s needs before hers, worked overtime to keep people happy, avoided conflict, and feared rejection. These actions became a big part of her personality, which caused her to compromise her needs for the sake of others.

Source: Hulu / hulu

In episode 5, Mel discovers her married brother is cheating on his wife. After seeing his profile on a dating site, she decides to catfish him and arranges a date during Thanksgiving dinner. Their tension-filled relationship comes to a head when she confronts him at the bar where he thought he’d be meeting his catfish. Brian defends his infidelities by highlighting the pressure and responsibilities he has as a married man, which exposes the cause of their wounded relationship.

MUST READ: Natasha Rothwell: Main Character Energy

“Will you stop? You are not the only man in the world with responsibilities, okay? You gotta come back down to earth instead of letting mom gas you up,” she says.

“Ah! That’s it. You just trying to get me back for Mom putting me on a pedestal,” he responds.

“She never put you on a pedestal. She just made sure I was low enough, so you had someone to look down on,” she responds.

Source: Hulu / hulu

As the two trade jabs, they eventually get to the root of their issues, which stem from a condescending mother and an absent father. This freeing moment allowed the siblings to confront their issues and develop a new relationship from a place of mutual understanding.

Lesson 2: Boundaries is the vibranium for people pleasers

Source: Hulu

Now that we understand the root of Mel’s people-pleasing, viewers get to watch her develop boundaries. It took a near-death experience for her to realize her happiness is her responsibility—and sometimes, that happiness will come at the expense of others.

Doing what’s best for you will ruffle some feathers, but the tradeoff is finally finding peace. When Mel’s boss and ex-boyfriend, Alex (played by Jocko Sims), recommends her for the managerial program, but her wealthy best friend Rory (played by Conrad Ricamora) encourages her not to take it because of his family trauma, she agrees not to join the class. But after reviewing her hospital bills and regular bills, she decides to do what’s best for her.

Joining the managerial program forced Mel to remove the rose-colored glasses and confront the ways she neglected herself. When she informed Rory that she joined the class after agreeing she wouldn’t, his reaction allowed her to finally face his selfish behaviors and the parts of her that allowed him to act that way.

Mel’s boundaries cause the friendship to come to a halt. She realizes she remained friends with someone who didn’t show up for her like she did for him. As she uncovers the version of herself that says yes to what she wants, she grows closer to becoming her authentic self.

Lesson 3: You’ll never understand what people see in you, until you choose to see it in yourself

Source: Hulu / hulu

Mel moved through life feeling undeserving of love and all the good things life has to offer. She was so committed to the idea that women like her don’t get the fairytale ending that she couldn’t see that there were men interested in taking her off the market. Her three-month romance with Alex ends when he tells her he loves her, and she refuses to believe it because she doesn’t view herself as lovable. He put a bandaid over his wound by finding another woman and proposing to her, leaving Mel to confront her feelings for him.

During episode 5, after finding common ground with her brother, Mel begins to open up about how she sees her future. “Some of us don’t get to have the house or the family or the love of their lives,” Mel says tearfully.

“Bullshit! You do! You get that. You get to have all of that. Baby, you gon’ have all of that. You know what your problem is?” he asks. “Your dumb ass is not paying attention, okay? Because I promise you, if you just look up, you’d be surprised at how many people love you,” he responded.

Mel realizes she allowed fear to interfere with her opportunity to find love and happiness. As she continues to evolve, she considers disclosing her true feelings to Alex on his wedding day. Again, she makes a lot of mistakes, but the growth is in her putting herself out there despite the possibility of rejection or embarrassment. Slowly, Mel begins to step out of her way to get closer to the life she desires because she finally understands that she deserves it.

Source: Hulu / hulu

As Mel thinks about winning Alex back, she’s oblivious to her colleague Terrance’s (played by KeiLyn Durrel Jones) growing affection for her. Episode 7 leaves us wondering: Will Terrance step out of the shadows to declare his feelings for Mel, or will he watch her run to Alex and possibly end his marriage before it begins?

Lesson 4: Take risks instead of wondering “What if?”

Source: Hulu / hulu

Mel’s near-death experience awakens the parts of her that she’s been suppressing. She wants to see the world, but her fear of flying kept her home. She wants to be in love, but her lack of self-worth convinced her she was undeserving. She was great at her job, but her people-pleasing almost caused her to let the opportunity pass her by.

From the first episode to the last, we watch Mel transform from a woman who wonders, “What if?” to one who takes a chance and hopes for the best. She learns that prioritizing herself and her needs can help her acknowledge new possibilities. As we wait for episode 7 to air, viewers wonder: Will Mel end up with Alex? Will she get caught using the dead woman’s credit card? Will she rekindle her friendship with Rory with new, sturdy boundaries in place? Does become a manager at the airport?

Mel made a 180-degree change from the day she left the hospital on her 35th birthday. She’s walking with her head held high because she’s finally learned that in order to reap rewards, she has to take a few risks.

DON’T MISS…

The Fashion Credits: Natasha Rothwell Gives Us A Fierce Fashion Moment In Jason Wu

11 Black Plus Size Actresses Who Rule The TV Screen, Define Generations And Inspire Us All

Redefining Desirability: The Truth About Love and Plus-Size Black Women

4 Life Lessons We Learned From Natasha Rothwell’s ‘How To Die Alone’

The post 4 Life Lessons We Learned From Natasha Rothwell’s ‘How To Die Alone’ appeared first on HelloBeautiful - Fashion, Beauty, Lifestyle and Hair Care for Black Women .