<body><div>Her viral TikTok received a lot of feedback.Fact checked by Sarah ScottFact checked by Sarah ScottWhen Tammie Kelton, a grandmother from Ohio, posted a video on TikTok about why she doesn’t buy her grandchildren gifts, the responses were vast and varied.Many praised this grandma’s decision to focus on her four grandchildren’s futures by putting money in investment accounts for each.“I just remember when my children were younger, all the Legos, all the little Barbie shoes, and just all the things that just got thrown away,” Kelton explains in the video. “I would just rather give them something that will be a gift that can last a lifetime or have a lifelong effect on them.”But others didn’t agree, with some saying this grandmother won’t be the kids’ favorite relative and another implying she “hates” her grandkids.It’s clear: the topic of whether kids should get gifts is hotly debated. It’s also one that I struggled with in my own home, too. What I learned is that gift giving for kids can be complex but there are ways to navigate it.<h2>Getting Overwhelmed by Too Many Toys</h2>It was right before my daughter’s fifth birthday when I glanced with exasperation around my kids’ toy area in a corner of our living space. Mounds of plastic toys, big and small, lay piled on top of each other, most with one thing in common: My kids, 9 and 5, hadn’t touched many of them in months.Yes, we set aside weekend afternoons to play with the toys. We even rotated the toy chest so they could re-discover long-lost ones. My kids have always been really great at finding imaginative ways to play. And still, we have so many toys.I thought back to Christmas mornings and during Hanukkah and birthdays, when gifts poured into our home. My kids would excitedly open each one, searching for the one that promised the delight, wonder, and fun they craved. The unfortunate toys that did not hit the mark joined that forsaken pile.While many caregivers in this country and worldwide struggle to afford the bare necessities in life, I know that this issue of children receiving too many toys is rife with privilege. As an immigrant who grew up with very little money or toys, it strikes me as unsettling that my kids have access to so much in a world where others are in need.But this ultimately lay on my shoulders. Had I gone too far in giving them what I didn’t have growing up? Did they have too much stuff? The pile of toys was sending clear messages to the affirmative.<figure><img src="https://img.particlenews.com/image.php?type=thumbnail_580x000&amp;url=3FZpnb_0vm6aCLl00" alt="https://img.particlenews.com/image.php?url=3FZpnb_0vm6aCLl00" width="640" height="427" ><figcaption>GettyImages/RUSS ROHDE</figcaption></figure><h2>I Nixed Gifts for My Kids</h2>I made a decision.After lots of editing, I sent a polite text to my family asking them not to buy any toys for my daughter for her birthday. I suggested clothes instead. My sister-in-law, mother to two teens, texted, “Genius parenting move.” My aunt, who I’m close to, simply said, “OK.”I bought one gift for my daughter so she would have something to open on the morning of her birthday and that was it. Her birthday arrived and we excitedly gave her the sole present: a mini Poppy Playhouse (Trolls fans get it). She was over the moon with joy and played with this for hours.But the results of my request as it pertained to my family were surprising—even to me.My mother-in-law had already purchased my daughter a gift before getting my little text. We visited her right before my daughter’s birthday and she presented her with it: mini versions of her favorite baking tools. What proceeded to happen was an entire morning spent baking cookies with the new tools.My daughter experienced this special bonding fun with her grandmother and I’ve been re-purposing the cookie cutters to make fun shapes for lunchtime sandwiches.Meanwhile, my son’s grandmother took him to a play about Percy Jackson from The Heroes of Olympus book series, which transported him from reading graphic novels to reading chapter books, literally overnight. When gifts can lead to special time with loved ones, it’s a win-win for all.Other loved ones still wanted to give my daughter a gift too. They got creative. Some gave cash. Some gave handmade cards. In the end, many people want to give children something and I needed to find a balance without taking that away.I decided not to tell all my family to refrain from buying my kids anything again. Instead, I’ve learned gift giving doesn’t have to just mean toys and opted to encourage loved ones to be mindful of what they are buying my kids. That’s why I get where Grandma Kelton is coming from. <h2>How To Navigate Gifts With Kids</h2>As a parent, I worry about raising kids who don’t appreciate gifts and turn into entitled people. I also worry about just how many toys my kids get and adding unreasonable amounts of plastic to this world.So, what’s the solution?Teach your kids gratitudeIf you still want your kids to receive gifts–which is totally OK for the record–you should spend some time teaching them appreciation.“As parents, we can foster an attitude of conscious receptivity in our children in several ways,” says Sarah Harris, a Utah-based licensed marriage and family therapist and a registered play therapist supervisor. “One such way is by pacing how many gifts they open at one time. This allows them to better receive a gift whole-heartedly and with their full attention.”Parents can also encourage kids to write down who the gift giver is in order to show them a gesture of gratitude later on. “This gesture can be a family activity of creating art or a thank you note for the giver,” says Harris. “I encourage my kids to pause and think about the person before starting the art or note-writing process.”Offer suggestions to those buying giftsFinding opportunities to repurpose and thrift is a good idea, says Jessica Roff, Plastics and Petrochemicals Program Manager for the Global Alliance for Incinerator Alternatives (GAIA), an organization aiming to end waste pollution.Roff also recommends buying products from companies that prioritize people over profit, that give money back to communities, or create grant opportunities.“Part of it is being careful where you choose to spend your money,” she says, adding, “I’ll find a gift on Amazon and then search for a small business that sells it.”Plus, most of the toys on the market are made of plastic. We can partake in gifting without damaging the earth. “The reality is that plastic is toxic and pervasive,” says Roff. “The systems that are creating this plastic crisis and our dependence on it are bigger than us. One action won’t change that but multiple actions within one’s community can.”Instead of asking my family to stop buying my kids toys, I plan to encourage them to give a gift from the heart, while suggesting a few more eco-friendly options like secondhand or wooden toys or even used clothing, when possible.I plan to suggest giving a donation to a kid-centered organization in my kids’ names. I also want them to consider toys that can lead to special time with my kids, a pathway to building memories together.Be open to changeNow back to the grandma in that TikTok video.From my perspective, her choices seem grounded in a deep commitment to her grandchildren’s future and I won’t fault her for that.If one of my children’s grandparents took this stance, I’ll be honest with you: I would be delighted to have fewer toys. I actually don’t think my kids would even notice the lack of a gift from that particular person, especially if the grandparent was present in many other areas of their lives.The bottom line is, find what works for you and your family when it comes to gift giving and be open to modern options. As with all else, moderation and open communication are key to a more mindful approach to parenting. For more Parents news, make sure to sign up for our newsletter!Read the original article on Parents.</div></body>

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Is This Grandma’s Take On No Gifts for Her Grandkids a Good Idea?

Her viral TikTok received a lot of feedback. Fact checked by Sarah ScottFact checked by Sarah Scott. When Tammie Kelton, a grandmother from Ohio, posted a video on TikTok about why she doesn’t buy her grandchildren gifts, the responses were vast and varied. Many praised this grandma’s decision to...