12 Signs There's Something Wrong With Your Self-Esteem

Photo byCanva

Self-esteem is the foundation of our personality, determining the quality of our lives and relationships. However, many of us do not even suspect that our self-esteem needs to be strengthened.

12 Signs There's Something Wrong With Your Self-Esteem

Let's look at 12 signs that indicate self-esteem issues and how they affect different aspects of our lives.

You constantly compare yourself to others

Comparing yourself to others is a natural process that helps us navigate society. However, if you find yourself constantly comparing your achievements, appearance, or status to other people, this may indicate problems with self-esteem.

People with healthy self-esteem are able to rejoice in the successes of others without feeling worse about themselves. They understand that everyone has their own path and their own criteria for success. If you catch yourself thinking that the successes of your friends make you feel inferior or envious, you should think about working on your self-esteem.

You don't know how to accept compliments.

It would seem that what could be more pleasant than a sincere compliment? However, praise often causes discomfort to people with low self-esteem. If you notice that you feel awkward when receiving a compliment, try to devalue it or switch attention to another topic - this may be a sign of low self-esteem.

The inability to accept compliments is often associated with a deep-seated belief in one's own "insufficiency." A person does not believe that he or she truly deserves praise, and therefore seeks to reject it. This may manifest itself in the form of self-deprecating jokes, attempts to downplay one's achievements, or even outright denial of a compliment.

Learn to accept praise. A simple "thank you" is a good start. Gradually, you will be able not only to accept compliments, but also to believe in their sincerity.

You avoid new challenges.

It's normal to be afraid of trying new things. However, if you consistently turn down growth opportunities because you're afraid of failure, it could indicate a self-esteem issue. People with low self-esteem often prefer to stay in their comfort zone, where they feel safe.

This behavior can manifest itself in different areas of life: turning down a promotion at work, not wanting to start a new relationship, avoiding public speaking, or even refusing to try a new hobby. At the core of this is the fear of failure and the belief that "I can't handle it."

Remember that personal growth occurs outside the comfort zone. Start with small steps, gradually expanding the boundaries of your capabilities. Each fear overcome will strengthen your self-confidence.

You tend to be a perfectionist.

It would seem that striving for perfection is a good thing. However, excessive perfectionism is often a sign of low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem often believe that only by being "perfect" can they earn the love and respect of others.

Perfectionism can manifest itself in many different aspects of life, from the desire to look perfect 24/7 to the inability to finish a project due to endless edits. This behavior is not only exhausting, but also prevents you from moving forward, since the “ideal” is unattainable by definition.

Learn to accept yourself and your work as "good enough." Remember that progress is more important than perfection, and mistakes are an integral part of the learning and growth process.

You often apologize even when it is not your fault.

Apologizing is an important part of social interaction. However, if you find yourself apologizing even in situations where you are clearly not at fault, this may be a sign of low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem often feel "guilty by default" and seek to make amends for non-existent guilt.

This can manifest itself in apologizing for the weather, for other people's actions, or even for one's own feelings and needs. Not only does this behavior diminish the value of a genuine apology, it also reinforces a negative self-perception.

Try to be mindful of the situations when you apologize. Ask yourself: "Am I really at fault for something?" If not, replace the apology with a more appropriate phrase, such as "Thank you for understanding" or "I appreciate your patience."

You don't know how to defend your boundaries.

Learning to set and maintain personal boundaries is an important skill for healthy relationships. However, people with low self-esteem often have difficulty saying no or expressing their needs. They may fear rejection, conflict, or simply feel that their wants are less important than those of others.

This can manifest itself in a variety of situations, from an inability to say no to extra work to tolerating toxic relationships. In the long run, this behavior leads to burnout, resentment, and worsening relationships.

Learn to respect your needs and be open about them. Remember that your feelings and desires are as important as other people's feelings. Practice gentle but firm refusals when necessary.

You are dependent on external approval.

It is natural for humans to want positive feedback. However, if you notice that your mood and self-perception are completely dependent on the opinions of others, this may indicate problems with self-esteem.

People with low self-esteem often seek constant external validation of their worth. This can manifest itself in an obsessive desire to get likes on social media, constant requests for validation ("Do I look good?", "Did you like how I did that?"), or an inability to make decisions without the approval of others.

You are prone to self-sabotage.

Self-sabotage is a subconscious behavior that prevents us from achieving goals or maintaining positive changes in our lives. People with low self-esteem often unknowingly sabotage their own success because, at a deep level, they don’t believe they deserve good things.

This can manifest itself in many ways, from procrastinating important tasks to sabotaging relationships when they start to get serious. Often, people justify this behavior with external reasons, without realizing the true motives.

It is important to learn to recognize patterns of self-sabotage and work to overcome them. This may require deep work on beliefs about your own worth.

You don't know how to celebrate your successes.

The ability to enjoy your accomplishments is an important aspect of healthy self-esteem. However, people with low self-esteem often downplay the significance of their successes or ignore them altogether.

This can manifest itself in a constant focus on what has not yet been done, rather than recognizing what has already been accomplished. Or in a tendency to attribute your successes to luck or help from others, rather than acknowledging your own achievements.

Learn to notice and celebrate even small victories. Keep a diary of achievements, regularly noting your successes. This will help to create a more positive image of yourself and strengthen your self-confidence.

You are avoiding responsibility.

Taking responsibility for your life is an important aspect of personal maturity. However, people with low self-esteem often find it difficult to take responsibility because they do not believe in their ability to influence the situation.

This may manifest itself in a tendency to blame circumstances or other people for one's failures, a reluctance to make important decisions, or a desire to shift responsibility to someone else.

It is important to realize that taking responsibility is not a punishment, but an opportunity to control your life. Start small, gradually increasing the areas for which you take responsibility.

You don't know how to accept criticism.

Constructive criticism is an important tool for growth and development. However, people with low self-esteem often find it difficult to adequately perceive any criticism. They may perceive it as a personal insult or confirmation of their "inferiority."

This may manifest itself in a painful reaction to even mild comments, in a desire to justify or attack in response to criticism, or in a complete ignoring of feedback.

Learn to view criticism as an opportunity to grow. Separate criticism of your actions from criticism of you as a person. Remember that the ability to accept and use feedback is an important skill for personal and professional development.

You tend to describe yourself negatively.

The way we talk about ourselves reflects and influences our self-perception. People with low self-esteem often use negative or self-deprecating language when talking about themselves.

This may manifest itself in a constant self-critical internal dialogue, a tendency to describe oneself in terms of shortcomings rather than strengths, or in the use of devaluing phrases such as “I just...”, “I’m just...”.

Pay attention to your speech about yourself. Try to replace negative statements with more neutral or positive ones. Remember that our words shape our reality.

Working on self-esteem is a difficult but very important process. If you recognize yourself in several of the described signs, do not despair. Recognizing the problem is already the first step to solving it.