To his countless friends and fans, Kris Kristofferson might have been a prolific songwriter, worldly scholar, and charming film actor, but heartbreakingly, to his mother, he was an “embarrassment.” As difficult as it is to imagine a mother feeling shame toward an award-winning artist of a son, the Kristoffersons were not a show business family. They were a military family.
When Kristofferson decided to pursue his dreams of becoming a songwriter in Music City, USA, he found out the hard way that his family would not be coming along for the ride.
Why Kris Kristofferson’s Mother Called Him An “Embarrassment”
Kris Kristofferson briefly followed his family’s military legacy when he served in the U.S. Army, eventually achieving a Captain rank. The Rhodes scholar was even invited to become a professor at the prestigious West Point military academy, but he ultimately declined the offer to continue cutting his teeth as a songwriter in Nashville.
In a 2016 Rolling Stone interview, Kristofferson and his wife, Lisa Kristofferson, discussed when Kris’ mother disowned him for his professional shift toward music. “When you have a family member that died during World War I, they would put a gold star in the window,” Lisa said to her husband. “Your mother said she would have rather had a gold star in the window than to see what you’re doing with your life.”
“She said that I was an embarrassment to the family,” the “Sunday Mornin’ Comin’ Down” singer added. “I’ve given them moments of pride, when I got my Rhodes scholarship, but she said, ‘They’ll never measure up to the tremendous disappointment you’ve always been.’ Why tell your kid that?”
The Singer Truly Lived Up To His Lyrics (More Than Once)
One of Kris Kristofferson’s most iconic lyrics comes from “Me and Bobby McGee”: Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose. In those early moments of hardship—his family disowning him, working several hard labor jobs to make ends meet, trying to conquer the Nashville music machine—Kristofferson truly lived up to this lyrical notion.
Regarding that line from “Me and Bobby McGee” in particular, Kristofferson told Esquire, “It makes me think about the time when my apartment got robbed and everything was gone and I was disowned by my family. I owed money to a hospital, and I owed my wife five hundred a month for child support, and I thought, “I’m losing my job.’ I hadn’t any money, anything going for me, but it was liberating.”
Kristofferson recalled laying in a “filthy” motel in Lafayette, Louisiana, thinking, “‘F***. I’m on the bottom—can’t go any lower.’ From then on, man, I drove my car to the airport, left it there, and never went back to get it. Went to Nashville and called this friend of mine, Mickey Newberry, and told him I’d just got fired. He said, ‘Great. Johnny Cash is shooting a new TV show. Come up, and we can pitch him some songs.’ The next moment, they cut three of my songs, and they were hits. I never had to go back to work again.”
Kristofferson’s mother died in 1985, meaning she never got to fully appreciate the astounding legacy in music, film, and humanitarian efforts that her son created. Sources differ on whether Kristofferson ever reconciled with his family, but he clearly proved how much of an “embarrassment” he wasn’t—no matter what his mother had to say about it.
Photo by Su Ingle/David Reffern/Redferns/Getty Images
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