Satire: Yes, there is a Weather Machine

But our best guy is working on it.

UnderdogPhoto byCreative Commons: curtis palmer

The weather news coming from Florida is horrific. Hurricane Milton has Florida dead in its cross hairs. This comes on the heels of Hurricane Helene. It has some people looking for answers as to why this is happening. The uninformed may think that climate change is to blame.

Sure, it seems like every month brings another record for warmest month on record. However, that’s a mere coincidence. The fact that gulf and ocean temperatures are the highest in history also has nothing to do with the intensification of hurricanes. No, those of us in the know are aware of what’s really going on.

There is indeed a weather machine and it’s being used on us. And I’m going to name names. Or name.

The guy to blame is Simone Bar Sinister

I was first made aware of Bar Sinister in 1965 when I was watching Underdog cartoons. Simon Bar Sinister was an evil scientist that wreaked havoc on mankind. One of his plots involved using a weather machine against mankind.

Apparently Bar Sinister is at it again. The world is waiting for him to make his demands so he can stop harassing Florida and the southeast part of United States. Until those demands are met, we may remain in his clutches.

How do I know this?

I have this on the authority of one of the best news sources I know of, Sweet Polly Purebred. As indicated by her last name, Sweet Polly’s credentials are impeccable.

Also, she never been successfully sued over disseminating misinformation, unlike some other “news” sources.

Still not convinced. Well, I brought receipts. Here is a link to the Underdog episode that details Bar Simister’s plot: Bing Videos.

Here’s why Bar Simister’s plot is so devious

Notice how Bar Sinister targets areas surrounded by water, like Florida? That throws attention away from him. The uninformed blame increasing disasters on decades of unabated global warming instead of focusing Bar Sinister and his weather machine.

That’s part of the genius of Simon Bar Sinister.

But not to worry

Fortunately, a hero is stepping up to the plate to deal with Simon Bar Sinister, and his henchman, the bad guy with the greatest bad guy name of all time, Cad Lackey. That would be Underdog. It’s a good thing for us Underdog has the speed of lighting, and power of thunder. He fights all those who would rob and plunder. And he’s likable.

His alter ego, Shoeshine Boy is both humble and lovable. What a guy. Get after it, Underdog, before Bar Sinister strikes again.

In summation

Obviously, this is a satirical piece. But one thing stuck me. People on social media are saying they have never seen anything like Hurricane Milton. Therefore, the reasoning goes, it must be the result of a nefarious weather machine.

Actually, scientists have been giving warning about the dire effects of global warming for decades. It would seem now that the chickens are coming home to roost.

I’m afraid we are all going to see some more things we’ve never seen before. And it’s not the work of Simon Bar Sinister.