Why Living in Discord is Damaging to Relationships & How to Restore Harmony

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Conflict is expected in any relationship, but when one person constantly raises their voice or demands respect when they are not giving it, conflift is not resolved, but instead swept under the carpet, it causes Discord in the household, which is an ongoing lack of agreement or harmony. This unhealthy environment often occurs with someone with high narcissistic traits because they are egocentric and refuse to apologize for their behavior or take personal responsibility.

The victim usually tries to smoothe things over and sometimes apologizes when it is not their fault simply to restore peace. But, then resentment builds.

It is impossible to discuss concerns or frustrations with a narcissist because they are so opinionated and close-minded. They project and blame shift. The person causing discord tends to have to be right...ALL THE TIME. It is exhausting.

Living in Discord creates constant conflict and makes you feel as if you are walking on eggshells. The controlling, arrogant person wants harmony and cannot see that they are the one creating lousy energy. So, the other person pulls away. It makes the victim want personal autonomy rather than partnership because their partner is not validating their feelings. For the relationship to survive, the couple must find balance and restore harmony in the home.

Ways to Restore Harmony and Balance

• Help validate each other's feelings, frustration, and needs. Stop blaming and projecting. Recognize the equality in the partnership.
• Create emotional safety for one another so that constructive conversations and problem solving can occur.
• Practice active listening to help your partner feel heard and understood. This means refraining from arguing how you think your partner should feel. Feelings are valid.
• Avoid raising your voice, closed body language, passive aggressive behavior, and name calling.
• Admit mistakes and apologize sincerely.
• Propose a resolution.
• Respond rather than react to one another.

Final Thoughts

No one enjoys living in a chaotic, hostile environment. The home should be a peaceful escape from the external world. A couple living in Discord is not thriving and, in fact, is not likely to survive long-term together. Emotional safety is a crucial ingredient in successful relationships. When one partner feels ridiculed and rejected for everything they say, they will evenually look elsewhere for emotional support and security. The person predominantly causing Discord has low emotional intelligence and trouble expressing themselves.

Couples and individual counseling could be helpful. It is a way for the victim to express themselves and have an outsider see how they are being reacted to. However, a narcissist can bluff their way through and put on a show so that the therapist doesn't see how they treat you at home.

Without mutual appreciation, trust, and respect, a relationship cannot thrive. Discord destroys trust and emotional safety. When children are involved, it causes insecurities and lowers self-esteem.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. If your home lacks harmony and the partnership is out of balance, I hope you find a resolution before resentment builds to a non repairable state. Everyone deserves respect, love, and a comfortable living environment.

Peace & Light,

Libby