Man Escapes Abusive Relationship After Losing 60 Pounds in 2 Months, Ex Sentenced
8 hours ago
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The man details his ex-girlfriend shutting him off from his family, taking control of his finances, his diet, making him sleep on the floor, and not allowing him to shower, shave or even use the bathroom in the apartment -- before he finally reached out to his mother.
A man is speaking out about alleged abuses he suffered at the hands of an ex-girlfriend after he lost 60 pounds in two months and she's been sentenced to 20 months in prison. A U.K. police representative called it "the worst case of controlling and coercive behavior I have ever seen."
Things seemed to be going great for Gareth Jones and Sarah Rigby, both 41, when they met online in July 2021. "I guess they call it love bombing," Jones told the BBC in a new interview about those early days. "I think it takes you aback ... you think this could really be the one, and this could work out."
Things quickly began to change, though, with Jones telling the outlet that within four months (out of their total nine month relationship) she encouraged him to move into her house and give up his apartment.
The Cheshire Police noted in a press release that she charged him rent on the house -- plus back-rent for the previous times he'd stayed there -- despite it being owned by her father, and made him put all of his personal belongings in the garage. He paid £700 a month in rent, and all the bills.
From there, Rigby allegedly began to cut Jones off from his family and loved ones and started to establish strict rules for him in the household, including dictating his personal habits including showering, shaving, and even using the restroom -- all of which she forbade in the house, per police.
Police also reported that when he would leave the house, Rigby would conduct a search on Jones to make sure he "wasn't taking anything that she didn't approve of." He allegedly wasn't allowed to stay in the house alone, despite working from home, and was never given a key to the house.
"If she wanted to go out, I had to leave, even if I was trying to work," he said.
"She made me sleep on the floor with no covers if things weren't going her way, as a punishment," Jones told the BBC, with police adding that she would also leave the windows open.
He said she also verbally abused him, calling him things like "fat, ugly, and disgusting," per police.
And then there was her purported control over his diet. She took control of what he was and was not allowed to eat, according to Jones, who said that Rigby would physically attack him, including biting, kicking, and scratching, if he didn't follow her "strict" orders.
All of this led Jones to drop 62 pounds in just two months, per BBC.
Jones detailed one alleged example for the outlet, which was a shopping outing that became a demand. "She clawed me through my jumper, my arm was actually bleeding, until she forced me into buying something expensive for her," he told the BBC.
In order to keep him from reaching out for help, Rigby allegedly told Jones that if he told anyone about what was happening between them, she would tell the police he'd assaulted her.
Jones said he complied with almost all of her demands, but a lifeline to his mother that he never severed proved his salvation.
He said that he would still communicate with his mother, deleting the messages so Rigby wouldn't know as she regularly went through his phone and allegedly told him he didn't need to associate with anyone else because "you are with me now."
Then, five months after moving in with Rigby, Jones snuck out to meet his mother for coffee, where she "broke down in front of me," he told the BBC. That was when he made a decision.
"I thought, 'I can't put my family through it any longer,'" he told the outlet. "They were imploring me to leave."
In March 2022, he reached out to ManKind Initiative, a U.K. organization focused on male victims of domestic abuse, and with their support, he was able to leave his situation with "only the clothes on my back."
He said he started over, rebuilding his sense of self, his relationships, and his finances, with the help of therapy. He also finally reached out to the police.
In May 2024, Rigby pleaded guilty to controlling and coercive behavior and was sentenced to 20 months in prison, suspended for two years, for the alleged abuse of Jones. He also got a five-year restraining order against her granted, while she was told she must additionally complete 35 days of rehabilitation.
After her sentence, Cheshire Police Detective Constable Sophie Ward called the situation "the worst case of controlling and coercive behavior I have ever seen."
The detective constable noted that even after the initial charges were brought against Rigby, she "continued to taunt her victim, refusing to return his belongings, and constantly delaying the trial by failing to notify the court of holidays and appointments
She noted that even though Rigby "eventually" did plead guilty, "she has shown no remorse for her actions."
"While the victim will never be able to forget what happened to him," Ward added, "I hope that the conclusion of this case will help him to move forward and start to rebuild his life."
Jones hopes that by speaking out he can combat the stigma around men talking about being abused and make it easier for other men to come forward and find help.
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