"The Kid Was Just Trying To Copy Dad": 13 Teachers Are Recalling How Meeting A Parent For The First Time Perfectly Explained Their Student's Incredibly Baffling Behavior

Since teachers have to work closely with students, they often have to meet with their parents for a variety of reasons. So when Reddit user u/kaelhawh asked : "You ever meet a student's parents and think: 'Oh, so that's why he's like that?'" so many teachers told their side of these situations. Here are some of the top answers below:

1. "My first year of teaching high school, I had a student who was always distracted in class. She was often on her phone and disrespectful when I’d redirect her. Parent-teacher conferences come around, and I’m surprised to see her and her mom come into my room. The ENTIRE time I’m talking about how this student is failing and what she needs to do to improve, her mom is on her phone. The mom barely even makes eye contact with me. At some point, the mom sees her daughter also on her phone and has the nerve to yell at her daughter to get off her phone. THEN, the mom is back on her phone. I have yet to have a parent-teacher conference as bizarre as that one since."

2. "I had a kid call me 'babe' and 'honey.' He was in 10th grade, and I was in my 20s. I called home so his family would know that I had talked to him and it was not ok and all. The dad’s response: 'Well, sweetheart, I don’t know where he is getting that from!!'"

— u/Gold_Relative7255

3. "I had a kid (high school) who was a bully but also seemed misplaced, like wanting to fit in. For example, he'd make fun of a kid for being scrawny and weak and then talk about how he went to the gym and was so strong, and the other kid should also go to the gym (stopping just short of actually inviting the other kid to go with him). Teachers and counselors had several conversations with him, both for consequences and suggesting more positive interactions. A few phone calls and a meeting with the dad made it clear this was learned behavior. I eventually dug up the mom's contact info, and she lived out of state. I called her and explained. Her response 'I'm sorry; this is why we are divorced. I tried so hard and can't fix him.'"

4. "We had a trip to the zoo, and a few mothers volunteered to assist the children. One child's mother came with us, and her son is awful at listening to instructions. He does not listen, throwing his backpack around and running off. I assumed his mother being there would mean he would behave well on the trip. No. She let him get away with everything. Zero discipline."

— u/Mobile-Worldliness16

5. "I had a student once who was super positive and cheerful and friendly, and when she was happy about something, she would gently clap her hands and have this big, beaming smile and softly say, 'Yay!' In the middle of her IEP meeting, a teacher shared a success the daughter had had, and her mom did the exact same thing: a big smile, gentle clapping, soft 'yay!' It was adorable."

6. "One kid in my class is a yeller. At every minor distraction/noise/comment, he’ll start yelling at the person and insulting their appearance, particularly about people’s 'hairlines' (they’re 8 years old, lol). He made a very inappropriate/loud comment about something a 3rd grader shouldn’t even know about, and he immediately denied saying it even though we all heard it. I sent a message to his mom, who then called and yelled at me about how the tone of my message 'Sounded funny.' And how her kid said that he didn’t make the comment, lol. Okay, if you want to believe him instead of me, I guess there’s nothing I can do."

— u/redhairing24601

7. "I had a 5-year-old who would hit adults and throw chairs. After meeting with the dad and mom, they both were shocked by the behavior. Then, we watched dad hit mom's arm pretty hard whenever he expected her to talk. He told us that neither of them had tempers, but then the dad casually told us about a time he was upset at work and threw a chair in a conference room. It blows my mind."

8. "I had a kid in my third grade ESOL class whose English was amazingly good, often a few grade levels above what we were working at. He confidently could read entire chapter books in English without any help, and he was OBSESSED with anything science and technology related, to the point he was telling me about things I genuinely still don't really understand well. Time for parents' meetings came around, and I was told that, yes, this student's dad would definitely come. He did end up coming and meeting him for the first time, and it was obvious whose parent this was. The dad and kid were practical clones of each other. The dad also spoke flawless English himself, and I found out in the meeting that he worked as an engineer and that my student had expressed a great deal of interest in becoming an engineer, explaining his fascination with science/tech stuff."

— u/iwanttobeacavediver

9. "I had a kid who cried constantly as a middle schooler. Met his mom once to talk to her, and she started crying."

10. "Yeah, unfortunately, a classmate of my son. A real jerk; the other teachers were at wit’s ends. They were talking in the lounge about whether they should call in the dad. I asked if they had ever seen the truck with the two grinning skeletons throwing the middle finger. Yeah, that’s dad. If they thought that there was anything useful coming from that conversation, they were free to call him."

— u/PuzzleheadedPitch420

11. "I have nothing against any child or person with ADHD (in fact, I have it and take meds for it, and so does my 15-year-old son). One day, I had to call a mom about a child’s behavior that generally is caused by the child’s ADHD and just not understanding spatial skills and social boundaries as he ran around involving himself in everything in the Kindergarten classroom and generally not giving another child the ability to get a word in. His mom was literally the exact same person. I think I got two sentences in the entire conversation, and I just decided email would be my primary form of contact after that!"

12. "I have a fifth grader this year who does not stop talking during class. Does not matter how many reminders are given or how many consequences he receives, he just cannot seem to grasp that it's not okay for him to turn and whisper to his classmates when the teacher is talking — and this is a bright kid who usually picks up on new concepts fairly quickly, so his other teachers and I have been super frustrated trying to figure out how to get through to him. Well, last week, we had Back to School Night, and this kid showed up with his parents. They sat in the back of the gym for the presentation from admin and were talking back and forth the entire time."

"The family is English-speaking, and the presentation was in English, so it wasn't a situation where the kid was translating the presentation for the parents. They were just carrying on their own conversation while the dean and the head of school were going through the slides about various announcements and school policies they wanted to reinforce. So, now it makes sense why he never stops talking in class; that's literally the example his parents set for him."

— u/kaelhawh

13. "I had a kid in my pre-k class a few years ago who had the most bizarre laughing ritual. She would laugh, then stop and very mindfully snort like a pig. She was very clearly doing it intentionally, but 4-year-olds do lots of really weird things, so I decided to just keep an eye on her and try to figure out why she was snorting after she laughed. One day, her dad comes in to drop off her forgotten lunchbox. I made a joke about kid's school supplies running off nearly as often as the kids do, and he laughed a full-bodied, snorting laugh. Mystery solved. The kid was just trying to copy Dad."

Teachers, ever meet a student's parents and think "oh, so that's why he's like that?" Tell us what happened in the comments below.