In a candid post shared to Reddit ’s popular Am I The A**hole forum, the mother-of-the-bride confessed she didn’t have a “good relationship” with her daughter’s father. She explained that he struggled with alcoholism after their divorce, which ultimately led to his death.
“After some time, I remarried, but my daughter doesn’t get along with my new husband,” the Reddit user said. “They have a strained relationship.”
While the mother tied the knot with her current husband while her daughter was still in college, she revealed that her daughter was supposedly never happy about her moving on. Now her own daughter is getting married, but the concerned mother isn’t too thrilled about “how she’s planning the wedding.”
The Reddit user said her daughter “mentioned” incorporating a picture of her late father into the ceremony to honor him on her big day. Although the mom said she doesn’t have a problem with the idea, she does have an issue with the bride wanting her to sit next to his picture at both the ceremony and the reception.
“I told her that I’m not comfortable with that arrangement,” the mom confessed, noting that her current husband isn’t sitting at the same table as her.
She continued: “I told her no. She got upset and said I was being selfish and disrespectful to her and her father’s memory. I told her that if that’s her plan, I won’t be able to attend the wedding.”
According to the Reddit user, her daughter called her “a jerk” and her entire family has now involved themselves in the situation. As a result, the mom took to Reddit to ask fellow users whether she was in the wrong for refusing to sit next to the picture of her late husband.
A majority of commenters believed her daughter was the “bad guy” in the situation, especially since the former couple didn’t have a healthy relationship before his passing.
“Having your late husband’s photo there is completely understandable. The rest is off the charts ridiculous,” one Reddit user wrote, while another said: “As an adult, your daughter should understand that she may love her dad completely, but the same isn’t necessarily true for you. She definitely shouldn’t force you to sit beside his picture!”
A third person added: “I appreciate your daughter wants to honor her father on her wedding day. However, trying to make you sit next to the ghost of your ex-husband is making you uncomfortable understandably.”
“Have you ever had an honest conversation with her about your relationship with your late husband?” another Reddit user questioned.
Someone else suggested the mother sits next to her late husband for the ceremony, with her current partner seated on the other side of her.
“Look, if she wants to honor her dad at her wedding, that’s her choice. But her honoring her dad’s memory doesn’t need to involve anyone else but her,” they said.
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Eileen Moffit
7h ago
Put the picture and candles on a table with other deceased family members that she wishes could have been there. Definitely seat Mom and current husband together.
Kayaker
8h ago
Mother is TA! It's he daughter's wedding. It's not a horrible ask. Doesn't matter if he is alone or dead, married to you or not, picture or in the flesh. So what your daughter asked. Sit next to her father and celebrate your daughter's wedding!! Get over yourself. Her wedding, not yours. It's for a short time. She's not asking you to talk to or dance with the picture for crying out loud. Just sit.
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