Texas man’s obituary goes viral: ‘He is God’s problem now’

CLARENDON, Texas (KAMR/KCIT) — When a memorial service was held for a man from Clarendon on Monday morning, he was accompanied by the best wishes and condolences of thousands of people from across the United States and the rest of the world.

Robert Adolph Boehm had not gained international fame in his 74 years of life. But, like innumerable others who have gone before him on the High Plains, he was loved by his family and his community.

While the Texas Panhandle town of Clarendon only has around 2,000 people, Boehm gained national and international notoriety after his death on Oct. 6 because of his obituary, written by his son and published on the Robertson Funeral Directors website .

“It just kind of turned into a walk down memory lane of all of the little funny antics that I remember him going through in his life and our time together,” said Charles Boehm, Robert’s son and author of the obituary.

The obituary reads as follows:

“Robert Adolph Boehm, in accordance with his lifelong dedication to his own personal brand of decorum, muttered his last unintelligible and likely unnecessary curse on October 6, 2024, shortly before tripping backward over “some stupid mother****ing thing” and hitting his head on the floor.

Robert was born in Winters, TX, to the late Walter Boehm and Betty Smith on May 6, 1950, after which God immediately and thankfully broke the mold and attempted to cover up the evidence. Raised Catholic, Robert managed to get his wife Dianne pregnant (three times) fast enough to just barely miss getting drafted into the Vietnam War by fathering Michelle, John, and Charlotte between 1967 and 1972. Much later, with Robert possibly concerned about the brewing conflict in Grenada, Charles was born in 1983.

This lack of military service was probably for the best, as when taking up shooting as a hobby in his later years, he managed to blow not one, but two holes in the dash of his own car on two separate occasions, which unfortunately did not even startle, let alone surprise, his dear wife Dianne, who was much accustomed to such happenings in his presence and may have actually been safer in the jungles of Vietnam the entire time.

While the world was in conflict elsewhere, Robert made due by learning to roof, maintain traffic signs with the City of Amarillo, and eventually becoming a semi-professional truck driver—not to be confused with a professional semi-truck driver.

With peace on the horizon, Robert’s attention somewhat counterintuitively drifted to weapons of war, spanning the historical and geographical spectrum from the atlatl of 19,000 BC France, to the sjambok of 1830s Africa, to the Mosin-Nagant M1891 of WWII-era Soviet Union. So many examples of these mainstream hobbyist items litter his small Clarendon, Texas, apartment that one of them may very well have been the item referenced in his aforementioned eloquent final epitaph.

A man of many interests, Robert was not to be entranced by historical weapons alone, but also had a penchant for fashion, frequently seen about town wearing the latest trend in homemade leather moccasins, a wide collection of unconventional hats, and boldly mismatched shirts and pants.

Robert also kept a wide selection of harmonicas on hand—not to play personally, but to prompt his beloved dogs to howl continuously at odd hours of the night to entertain his many neighbors, and occasionally to give to his many, many, many grandchildren and great-grandchildren to play loudly during long road trips with their parents.

Earlier this year, in February, God finally showed mercy upon Dianne, getting her the hell out of there for some well-earned peace and quiet. Without Dianne to gleefully entertain, Robert shifted his creative focus to the entertainment of you, the fine townspeople of Clarendon, Texas. Over the last eight months, if you have not met Robert or seen his road show yet, you probably would have soon.

We have all done our best to enjoy/weather Robert’s antics up to this point, but he is God’s problem now.

Robert’s farewell tour will be held Monday, October 14th, at 10 a.m. at Memorial Park Funeral Home, 6969 E Interstate 40 Hwy, Amarillo, TX 79118. The family encourages you to dust off whatever outdated or inappropriate combination of clothing you have available to attend. A tip jar will be available in the front; flowers are also acceptable.”

After the obituary was published on the funeral home’s social media page on Oct. 10, the memorial was reposted and shared across social media, news websites and newspapers.

“One thing kind of led to another and it just turned from an almost funny roast into a letter to the people of Clarendon as a thank you for them taking care of him when I couldn’t be there and an apology for some of the crazy antics he got up to in my absence,” said Boehm.

The obituary has since been decorated with comments from strangers around the country.

“A funky, cool, eccentric man if I ever heard of one!” commented one person from Minnesota, “He sounds like he was an interesting human!”

“While I have never met you, I am married to a man with the same name…. who must be somehow connected cause his [demeanor] and foul mouth are akin to yours!” said another commenter, “If he can annoy someone at the [wee] hours he is thrilled and delighted to be of service to the neighbors lol. Rest in Peace just does not seem fitting, give em hell up there Sir! (I hope you packed a harmonica for his final trip!)”

“I never had the joy of meeting Robert, but he sounds like an awesome man. I can only hope when it’s my time to go, many years down the line, that my kids have the love and humor to share my life in this way,” wrote another from Kansas.

Similar comments pepper the main obituary page as well as instances of the post throughout social media.

Family members such as Charles’ wife, Kim, expressed surprise at the virality of the obituary, baffled that “people from all over” had been responding. She also noted in comments on her social media post about the obituary that family members had found four harmonicas “immediately” while cleaning Boehm’s apartment.

“Make sure that you don’t forget about your parents there are a lot old of people in these little rural towns whose kids have grown up and moved to bigger cities for better job opportunities and they leave there parents behind. Just don’t forget where you came from and make sure that your parents or anybody else in your life that you love knows that you care about them even if you’re far away,” said Boehm.

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