Why fewer folks are deciding to have kids

People, especially women, reported experiencing pressure to have kids, according to the survey.Photo byTim BishonUnsplash

Becky Hayden and her spouse, Seth, have dedicated 21 years to their community in California, actively participating in various roles. The Haydens have operated a community scholarship initiative, maintained a generous collection of prom dresses for those who need them and served as mentors within their community. Yet, they have chosen not to have children. "Many people wrongly believe that our lack of children means we are incomplete," Becky Hayden explained. "That's simply not true."

The percentage of adults in the United States under 50 years old without kids is increasing — jumping from 37% in 2018 to 47% in 2023, as reported in a recent Pew Research Center study released Thursday.

The latest survey from Pew has emerged amidst renewed discussions following remarks by Ohio Senator JD Vance, a Republican contender for the vice presidency, who shared with former Fox News host Tucker Carlson in 2021 that the nation is governed by "a group of unmarried, cat-loving individuals who are unhappy with their personal lives and the decisions they've made, leading them to seek to make the rest of the country feel the same way."

However, with an increasing number of individuals choosing not to have children, the Pew research team was curious to explore whether the portrayal of unhappy childless adults as a common trend holds any truth.

"We aimed to delve deeper into the motivations behind why adults choose not to have children, their personal experiences, and the effects it has on their relationships," Rachel Minkin, a co-author of the report and a researcher at Pew, explained.

The most recent survey included over 3,300 adults who do not have kids and indicated they are unlikely to become parents. Although the study discovered that participants mentioned facing challenges and stress, it also revealed that individuals without kids shared how their lives were rich and meaningful.

"We observe that the majority of respondents believe that leading a satisfying life is not significantly influenced by one's decision to have children," Minkin explained.

The Reasons People Aren’t Having Kids

There were numerous reasons cited by individuals for choosing not to have children, including financial worries, the inability to conceive, or simply the absence of desire, as per the study.

For individuals under the age of 50, the primary reason given for not bearing children was a personal choice.

"It's completely understandable and legitimate to not wish to have children," stated Dr. Linda Baggett, a licensed psychologist and the owner of Well Woman Psychology in Manhattan Beach, California, via email. "I believe today's generation is more inclined to openly express and act upon this choice, whereas, in previous eras, societal pressures, economic and work-related factors, and religious beliefs might have influenced decisions to have children regardless of personal preference.

"It's a misconception that everyone, particularly women, desires to have children," added Baggett, who was not a part of the study.

In her role as a psychotherapist, Carissa Strohecker Hannum frequently encounters individuals who are hesitant about starting a family due to concerns about the world's current state. Some clients have had negative experiences with their parents' relationships, leading them to fear repeating those patterns. Hannum, who oversees clinical operations at Monarch Wellness in the Washington, DC, region, was not involved in the study.

She often hears, "Before I contemplate raising a child in this world, I need to address my mental health. I want to ensure that I'm bringing a child into a different kind of emotional setting."

Societal pressure to have kids

Whenever Hayden encounters a new person or bumps into someone she hasn't seen in years, the topic of her children's age frequently arises.

When she reveals that she's childless, Hayden noted that she often notices a look on their faces that suggests they view her as incomplete or not whole.

A significant number of negative comments from people in the Pew survey regarding not having children originated from external sources.

Among those aged 50 and over who participated in the survey and are working, 33% mentioned being expected to take on additional responsibilities due to their lack of children, and 32% reported feeling excluded from conversations with colleagues who have children, according to the findings.

Women were particularly prone to feeling societal pressure to bear children, Minkin mentioned.

"I often hear this, and it's regrettable," Baggett commented. She advises establishing a compassionate yet clear boundary with family and friends regarding discussions about not having children and reminding them that it's not a topic for debate.

"It's valid to acknowledge that the other person might be disappointed, but that doesn't justify questioning your feelings and choices," she emphasized.

Living a full life

For individuals who opt not to have kids, there's a significant opportunity for joy and satisfaction.

"Accept and take responsibility for this choice," Baggett advised. "You must do what's right for you, and truthfully, it doesn't benefit anyone, particularly the child, to bring a child into the world who isn't wanted.”

Participants in the Pew study mentioned that not having kids has allowed them to dedicate more time and resources to their careers and interests.

Hayden shared that she has discovered her calling by utilizing the wealth of support she and her spouse have created for their community members who may lack essential resources, such as educational assistance, well-fitting shoes, or a gift for a friend's birthday celebration.

"I'm incredibly fortunate to have discovered my passion," she expressed. "Ultimately, you don't have to let your life revolve around your children."

Sources:

CBC News