My man, you do not want to mess with women's choices about kids and cats.
WASHINGTON ― Well, JD Vance has really stepped in it. Three months before the U.S. general election, he has pissed off a massive and unlikely voting bloc: the so-called childless cat ladies.
They are Democrats and Republicans. Some are in their 20s, some their 70s, and some in between. They are stepparents, adoptive parents and people who have struggled with infertility. They are people who don’t have children by choice, and are perfectly content with pets.
They are women, but there are men, too, who are furious on their behalf.
“Maybe remind this fucknut that George Washington was an adoptive dad with no biological children,” said one Maryland father, who requested not using his name, because manners .
Vance, an Ohio senator and Donald Trump’s vice presidential pick, has been under fire for weeks over comments he made in 2021. In a resurfaced interview , he mocked Vice President Kamala Harris for being one of the “childless cat ladies” who are “miserable” with their lives and “don’t have a direct stake” in America’s future because they haven’t made babies.
His response to criticisms over this has been to double down , saying he has “nothing against cats,” and then to triple down , urging people to “pray for those people” who did not birth children. My God, he just keeps making it so much worse .
Harris, now the Democratic presidential nominee, is a parent, though. She is the stepmother to two children via her marriage to second gentleman Doug Emhoff.
Lack of accuracy notwithstanding, the public backlash to Vance’s claims has been swift. Celebrities and elected leaders in both major parties have excoriated him for suggesting that a woman’s worth is tied directly to having children, and for brushing aside so many women’s struggles with infertility, not to mention people who just lead a life without children, happily.
There are countless other “childless cat ladies” all over the country, who don’t have a big platform but who are just as appalled and hurt by Vance’s remarks. HuffPost received emails from more than three dozen of them – and they had some blunt messages for Vance.
“Women don’t exist to fulfill your baby-making fantasies,” said Margie Wirth, 57, who has no children and lives in New York. “We don’t owe you or the world a baby. Furthermore, we don’t owe you an explanation. The idea that a woman’s worth is tied to her ability or decision to have children is patently offensive, insulting, and downright absurd.”
Vance’s comments have upset people for lots of reasons, but his claim that women without children don’t have a real stake in America’s future has really seemed to get under people’s skin.
“The entire future of the Democrats is controlled by people without children,” the Ohio Republican said in his 2021 tirade. “And how does it make any sense that we’ve turned our country over to people that don’t have a direct stake in it?”
“I’m a very recently retired Social Worker after 48 yrs,” said Paula Recchia, 71, of Hawaii. “I’ve worked in foster care and adoption, with delinquent youth, in child care centers, and preschool to high school. I also worked with Military families to meet the challenges in their chosen vocation, including multiple deployments during the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.”
“I have demonstrated my commitment to the welfare of children and families,” she said. “I would challenge JD to do the hardest work as his chosen profession.”
“I can’t believe that Mr. Vance would try to alienate the cat lady vote!” added Annie Butkus, 25, who lives in Massachusetts and works in public relations. “We’re a pretty powerful demographic. Though I don’t have children, I feel strongly about preserving our democracy, mitigating the effects of climate change, and so on, so that future generations can prosper.”
In 2021, JD Vance mocked Vice President Kamala Harris for being one of the "childless cat ladies" who are "miserable" with their lives and "don’t have a direct stake" in America’s future because they haven’t made babies. Me-ow.
It’s hard to gauge just how big, just how diverse, this cross section of America is that Vance took a huge swipe at. American adults without children are estimated to account for more than 20% of the population, according to 2022 research published in Scientific Reports .
Last month, a Pew Research Center survey found that 57% of adults under the age of 50 who say they’re not likely to have children say a major reason is that they just don’t want kids . And in 2022, nearly 22 million women in the U.S. ages 20 to 39 had not given birth, according to research conducted by the University of New Hampshire’s Carsey School of Public Policy.
Meanwhile, census data from 2021 identified more than 2.4 million stepchildren, more than 1.4 million adopted children and more than 1.2 million foster kids or other unrelated children being raised in American households. And 8.5% of married women in the U.S. between the ages of 15 and 49 were infertile between 2015 and 2019, which is about 2.4 million women , according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention .
Even some fellow Ohio Republicans have felt insulted by Vance.
“I’m a childless cat lady in Dayton, Ohio,” said 66-year-old Nancy Bocskor, who previously worked for Republican Newt Gingrich, the former House speaker from Georgia, in Washington, D.C.
“Vance’s comments ripped the bandage off of a lifetime of people questioning me: ‘Why aren’t you married?’ I finally thought, at age 66, I was healed from the snide comments (’No husband? No kids? You must be gay!) or the implied pity (Wow, you must be defective, ugly and unlovable!),” she said. “Every inappropriate comment flooded back.”
Bocskor said she’s led a full life that has included a decades-long career in Republican politics, teaching young people how to run for office and enter public service. Because of her line of work, she said she also sees through the message that Vance is trying to send.
“I used to create messaging for Republican elected officials and candidates. Politics is emotion, and emotion moves voters, not issues. Fear and anger are at the top of the list,” she said of GOP politicking, before then addressing her remarks to Vance. “This ‘bitter, childless cat’ narrative that you’ve created (and have doubled down on rather than apologizing) is a ruse. It’s shiny and bright and catches the attention of the media and voters.”
I am Mayberry, Queen of Fur and Darkness. Where's your couch, JD Vance?
It’s not entirely surprising to see Vance going after women without children, given his extreme views on abortion and family structures. He has advocated for ” abortion to be illegal nationally .” He has also advocated for people staying in “violent” marriages for the sake of their kids. When asked in 2021 if he supported exceptions to abortion restrictions in cases of rape and incest, Vance said people just need to reframe the way they think about forcing women to stay pregnant.
“It’s not whether a woman should be forced to bring a child to term,” Vance said at the time . “It’s whether a child should be allowed to live.”
People were open, even vulnerable, in their messages to HuffPost about why Vance’s latest attacks on women cut so close to the bone for them.
“I felt discounted and maligned,” wrote Valeri DeCastris, a onetime Democratic candidate for state office in Illinois who has no children and lives with her husband of 25 years. “I happily don’t have pets or children and have been politically and community active for 50 plus years and indeed have a direct stake in my country’s future and have made and will make a difference in it.”
She added, “I am more than a womb.”
“ I’m an adoptive dad, and I’m furious about JD Vance’s comment” said Joe Rillotta, 47, who lives in Maryland. “He has no business passing judgment on my family or any others. It’s clear to me that Vance was egged on and said something stupid, and I sort of wish he’d just be a grown man about it and apologize unequivocally.”
Some people’s stories were painful, describing struggles with infertility or with mental illness.
Heather, who requested to use only her first name, is 43 and lives in Texas. She is not married and has one “child”: her 14-year-old three-legged Chihuahua.
“I have a stake in the future of the country for very personal reasons,” Heather wrote. She said she was 19, had just been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and was in and out of psychiatric hospitals when she “did something stupid” and got pregnant. She had an abortion, knowing she wasn’t capable of taking care of a baby, let alone herself.
“I still carry the pain of the decision with me, but I know it was the right thing,” Heather wrote. She pointed to Vance’s support for banning abortion . “The idea that a woman today, who experiences mental health issues and isn’t capable of handling a pregnancy and raising a child, cannot make a decision in the best interest of herself and the child makes me sick. The impact to the mental health of the mother would be irreversible. The child would suffer.”
“I’m proud of my dog lady status,” Heather added, “and will continue to speak up and out to anyone who will listen.”
Others wrote in just to share adorable photos of their cats, and to say how not having children has allowed them to make smarter choices about their futures.
“I’m a Proud Childless Cat Lady for Kamala!!” said Carole Zacek, 62, of Nebraska. “My Baby Cat RULES my life!!! I wouldn’t have it any other way!!”
Look at me. I'm adorable. Also, my name is Rocket and my mom lovvvves me.
“I was a childless cat lady for twenty years of my adulthood, not having a child till I was 38,” said Allison, 41, of Minnesota. “Like many Americans, I put off having kids (and may not have ever made the jump without a life-upending pandemic) because of how hard it is in this country (especially as a woman) to have both children and a career.”
Brooke Alexander-Goss, 33, said she and her husband are content with their decision to not have children, at least for now. They have three cats, Mack, Mikki and Etta.
“We’re both successful in our careers, and being childfree has allowed us to enjoy many things in life that would be much more difficult if we had kids instead of cats,” said Alexander-Goss, who lives in Florida. She scoffed at the idea that she has no stake in the country’s future.
“When we make the decision about what’s best for us in terms of starting a family, or not, our future is at stake. When we fight for our friends, neighbors, and community members who need help, protection, and rights, our future is at stake,” she said. “All of these things are about us as a country.”
“I’m 73, and have no children of my own,” wrote Mary of Tennessee, who requested only using her first name. She said she’s happily lived with 11 cats across her lifetime, and the only reason she doesn’t have one now is because “my dog doesn’t like them.”
“He’s 18 1/2 now,” she said of her dog. “And when he goes, cats will come back into my life.”
In addition to raising cats, Mary said she’s been deeply involved in raising her younger brother’s children after “his wife walked out on him” and he passed away from cancer.
“I’ve done dinners and laundry and school pick ups and conferences and snacks for the play practices and [student loan applications],” said Mary. “I have never for a moment considered that I don’t have a stake in the future because I have no children of my own, and I am not in the least miserable.”
“I don’t think JD Vance actually knows any childless cat ladies,” she added, “but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t care about making our lives better.”
He basically said, 'You don’t count as much as somebody else.'
Stepparents, of course, were another target of Vance’s attack. Brenda Ockun, the founder and publisher of StepMom Magazine, told HuffPost she’s been overwhelmed with messages from stepparents sharing why his comments were so offensive to them
“I think this feeling of hurt, it’s very simple,” said Ockun, who is a stepmother to two children. “He basically said, ‘You don’t count as much as somebody else. Your opinions, your thoughts, your intellect – none of it matters if you haven’t had children.’ There are so many people in the world who haven’t had children who have made enormous contributions.”
Vance’s comment that women without children are “miserable” felt especially personal to Ockun, who struggled with deciding whether to have kids of her own. She recalled being a young stepmom and people constantly asking her why she didn’t have biological children, or just telling her she should.
“The underlying feeling was judgment. ‘There’s something wrong with me because I don’t want to have my own children,’” she said. “But for women who consciously decide not to have children … I would dare say they think longer and harder about it than people who feel pressure to have children due to ignorant and self-confident comments like the ones we’ve heard.”
Some people are channeling their anger with Vance into efforts to help Harris defeat him and Trump in November. There are “Cats for Kamala” shirts for sale . Someone has set up a Childless Chicks for Harris political action committee . Sister District, a grassroots progressive group, held a national phone bank for “childless cat ladies (and friends) living rent-free in J.D. Vance’s mind” to call voters in battleground states.
“Childless cat ladies for HARRIS 2024,” reads one hilarious image of a cat, flying in a cape that’s actually a U.S. flag, circulating on social media.
“CATS AGAINST TRUMP,” reads another image of a feline American patriot.
Kamala Harris seems to have locked in the cat vote.
On Tuesday, thousands of self-described cat ladies participated in a “Cat Ladies for Kamala Harris” Zoom call . The meeting for this group, which renamed itself from “Pet Lovers for Kamala,” was co-hosted by Christine Pelosi, a political consultant and daughter of Democratic powerhouse and former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.).
“When JD Vance couched his opinion on our freedom, we decided that the cat ladies are striking back,” Christine Pelosi reportedly said on the call. “He didn’t realize what an opportunity he was giving us, and what he would unleash.”
Laura Belgray, who is 54 and has no children, living in New York, told HuffPost that she thinks Vance has done a real service for Harris’ campaign by uniting so many people ― i.e., voters ― in their disgust with his comments.
“Your position, which you stand by, makes you and your running mate more beatable,” Belgray said, addressing Vance. “And, you did a great favor to all of us childfree women (whether by choice or not) by stirring up this conversation that’s been missing from the public for so long.”
“We’ve come together,” she added, “and feel so much less alone.”
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