Displaced Oklahoma United Methodists say they've found peace in 'lighthouse' churches

An Oklahoma City couple couldn't imagine leaving the church where they had been members for 40 years.

Blair and Jeannie Schoeb met at Church of the Servant while they were both students at Oklahoma City University, one of the church's ministers officiated at their wedding and their two children grew up in the Oklahoma City church at 14343 N MacArthur — but then the unimaginable occurred.

The Schoebs left Church of the Servant as debates over disaffiliation from the United Methodist Church began to ramp up.

But, the pair chose to remain United Methodist.

More: After mass exodus, can the United Methodist Church in Oklahoma rebuild? What's next

The two are among more than 200 people who have become members of more than 50 other United Methodist churches after being displaced when their congregations cut ties with the United Methodist denomination, or at least considered it.

The wave of Oklahoma churches opting to disaffiliate in 2022 and 2023 was part of a schism in the international denomination due to disagreements over same-sex marriage, gay clergy ordination and other issues. In Oklahoma, 127 churches ultimately disaffiliated.

The Schoebs' newfound contentment at another United Methodist church — New Hope United Methodist — was highlighted in a video shown in the spring during the Oklahoma United Methodist Conference's 2024 annual meeting.

"For me and my wife, we need church to be a sanctuary, a safe zone and we need to go in on a Sunday or whenever we're there with a sense of peace, and we need to leave with a sense of peace, and I think there are a lot of churches who lost that," Blair Schoeb, 67, said in a recent interview.

The Rev. Roger Parker said he was excited to share the Schoebs' story and that of other United Methodists who found new church homes in a painful season of disaffiliations.

Parker is the pastor of The Gathering, which conference leaders created in 2023 as disaffiliations began in earnest. Disaffiliating churches were required to submit to the conference the names of congregation members who wished to remain United Methodist.

More: Oklahomans waiting decades for change celebrate United Methodist vote on same-sex marriage

Parker said about 80% of the people whose names were given to the conference have remained United Methodist and 350 of them began attending or joining "lighthouse churches" over time. He said lighthouse churches, which can be found throughout Oklahoma, are congregations that agreed to be intentionally supportive of displaced United Methodists as they transitioned out of their previous churches and began visiting other congregations.

Parker delivers a sermon each week during The Gathering's virtual worship service. He said the virtual community has been a safe space for grieving United Methodists who felt isolated after their churches decided to disaffiliate. He said many were seeking healing and purpose and some chose to seek the connections that come with in-person church services, and that's why lighthouse congregations like New Hope, 11600 N Council, have been important.

'Gauntlet of hugs'

The Schoebs said the Rev. Rodney Newman, New Hope's senior pastor, and his congregation embraced them and other displaced United Methodists right from the start.

"I'm amazed at how quickly we made friends and how quickly we've gotten to know people. So, Sunday morning, you walk in the door and you run a gauntlet of hugs," he said.

"I love it and that's the way, in my mind at least, a church is supposed to be."

Blair Schoeb said they became disenchanted with Church of the Servant shortly after they returned to in-person worship services once the COVID-19 pandemic began to wane. He said the nature of the church and its leadership began to change.

More: Why we stay: Preachers explain why they won't cut United Methodist ties

"Quite possibly, we were moving in a different direction and the leadership there just didn't cut it for us," he said. "We're at the age, honestly, where we didn't feel like we had a lot of time for the church either to right itself, or for a change in leadership. We needed to get on down the road."

Jeannie Schoeb agreed.

"It wasn't the (Church of the) Servant that we had been part of for so very long," she said.

Blair Schoeb said they appreciated that Newman and New Hope were not considering disaffiliation at all. Church of the Servant held an unsuccessful disaffiliation vote and then took the Oklahoma United Methodist Conference to district court when conference leaders denied the church a second vote on the issue.

The case ultimately went to the Oklahoma Supreme Court, which ruled in the conference's favor, saying that courts lacked jurisdiction over the matter. Due to the ruling, the church did not get a second vote to consider severing denominational ties and it remains a part of the United Methodist denomination.

Oklahoma United Methodist Bishop Jimmy Nunn appointed a new minister to lead the congregation and the new leader began serving the northwest Oklahoma City church in June.

Blair Schoeb said he and his wife had no interest in taking up the disaffiliation debate, "particularly when we could see in so many different directions how disturbing it was to the health of other churches."

"Some churches handled the disaffiliation with an amazing amount of grace and did it well, but others just ended up in open warfare and acting in manners that churches should not act like," he said.

He said the New Hope congregation was extremely welcoming and they quickly began to help the couple find places to serve and activities to be involved in. Currently, the Schoebs are on New Hope's pastoral care team and they are involved in a Sunday school class. Blair Schoeb said he is also on the church's staff relations committee.

Jeannie Schoeb said she was especially grateful when Newman held what she described as "grieving sessions" for those who had left their previous churches when the disaffiliation trend gained momentum.

"He invited people who wanted to come and talk about what that was like to leave your faith ... and come to a new place," she said. "It's been very welcoming, very warm. They are very mission-oriented, and very kid-oriented."

The couple said they have no regrets.

"You know, there's a sadness that comes from leaving behind some friends, but there's the joy that cometh in the morning — all these new people and new opportunities to serve," Blair Schoeb said.

More: New virtual ministry aims to connect displaced Oklahoma United Methodists with a new 'home'

A 'lighthouse congregation'

Newman said New Hope had always seen itself as a place of healing and offered Christian fellowship and grace to those who had undergone some sort of emotional or spiritual trauma, even before disaffiliations began to occur, sending people from other United Methodist churches to their door.

"This church has a history long before disaffiliation of welcoming people from different churches, who left for whatever reason," he said. "So, when they started coming as a result of disaffiliation, it wasn't unusual for us to do that."

Newman said he decided to host the sessions for the incoming United Methodists like the Schoebs because he knew they were grieving. The minister said he knew they needed someone to simply listen to them.

"We're all about grace, and so I just find that a lot of people need to hear that, not just people who are coming from churches that are troubled, but just people in general," he said. "There's so much anxiety in the world and people experience personal trauma that I feel like the church should be a place where they can hear words of peace, where they can be received in a fellowship, and where they can find healing."

What's next for Oklahoma United Methodists?

September will bring another change for Oklahoma United Methodists — the next bishop for the area will be the first woman elected to the position.

The Rev. Laura Merrill, the current bishop of the Arkansas United Methodist Conference, was elected to lead the Oklahoma United Methodist Conference and Oklahoman Indian Missionary Conference on June 10 at a meeting of the Southwest Jurisdictional Conference of the United Methodist Church.

Merrill will become the first female bishop in Oklahoma United Methodist Conference history when she takes the helm of the conference after the retirement of current bishop Jimmy Nunn in August. Nunn has presided over both Oklahoma conferences since 2016.

Merrill has been Arkansas bishop since she was elected to the position in 2022. She will continue to preside over the Arkansas conference while adding both Oklahoma conferences to her responsibilities on Sept. 1.

The South Central Jurisdictional Conference presides over regional conferences in Arkansas, Louisiana, Texas, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Kansas and Missouri. Six bishops will preside over the 12 conferences in the South Central Jurisdictional Conference.

This article originally appeared on Oklahoman: Displaced Oklahoma United Methodists say they've found peace in 'lighthouse' churches