When interviewing for a promotion or meeting your partner’s family, you may be especially concerned with making a good first impression by sounding classy. You may want to seem sophisticated, educated or elegant, thinking it will help you gain their respect or make you more likable . That’s fair!
Even outside of first-impression situations, people encounter times when they want to sound classy. Besides the intention to impress the other person, feeling confident about what you say and how you come across can be a confidence-booster.
To help, Parade asked etiquette experts for specific phrases that are surefire winners for exuding class and professionalism.
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7 Phrases to Say When You Want to Sound Classy, According to Etiquette Experts
1. “Mary Brown, I would like to introduce Philip Smith. Mary studies at Columbia and I believe Philip, you also attended Columbia at some point?”
When introducing people you know, consider saying a phrase like this. Besides sounding classy, it jump-starts the conversation and can help the participants feel more comfortable.
“It shows that you are in control and acknowledging others according to the rules of proper introductions,” says Laura Windsor , a UK etiquette expert who received training from a former member of The Royal Household of Her Majesty the Queen, and a trusted advisor to international royal families and celebrities.
2. “May I introduce myself—Jo Hayes.”
With your introduction, offer your hand to the other person too, says Jo Hayes , a CEO, etiquette expert of 13 years and speech-language pathologist who completed her master’s thesis on manners and modern etiquette.
Hayes highlights using the word “may” instead of “can” here. “This is not only grammatically correct, but it sounds far more refined,” she explains.
Then, when the other person replies with their name, she says, repeat their name and add “a pleasure to meet you” afterward.
3. “Oh Chelsea, we fell in love with everything about it. What do you think of the neighborhood?”
When someone asks you a question, Windsor encourages you to answer it then move along. More specifically, implement the “bounce back technique” by steering the conversation back to the other person.
“A truly classy and charismatic person has the ability to focus the attention on other people and make them feel like they are the most important person in the room,” she explains.
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4. “Please pass the bread.”
When a bowl of rolls sits on the table, it can be tempting to just reach over and grab them. But if you’re trying to seem classier, consider asking for someone to pass them instead.
“Asking politely instead of reaching across the table demonstrates respect for those around you, showing consideration for personal space and proper etiquette,” says Lisa Mirza Grotts , a 23-year authority on etiquette and certified etiquette professional. (It’s also a way to ensure you don’t accidentally spill a drink in the process.)
5. “I’m doing well, thank you,” or “I’m doing exceedingly well, thank you.”
The question “How are you?” is one you probably hear many, many times a day. To sound classy, Hayes recommends saying “well” instead of “good” because it’s grammatically correct and just sounds better.
“I personally like adding ‘exceedingly’ as it’s a wonderfully descriptive word to describe one’s sense of wellness and well-being,” she shares. “The fact that it sounds refined is a bonus.”
6. “It was a pleasure to meet you.”
When you’re meeting someone new, how you introduce yourself isn’t the only piece to consider when it comes to class—how you end the small talk is too.
Grotts recommends a simple phrase like “It was a pleasure to meet you” as it “creates a welcoming atmosphere and positive interaction by making the other person feel valued and appreciated.”
7. Using the word “one” or “oneself”
When speaking in generalities, many of us are quick to use a pronoun like “I,” “you” or “they.” That’s okay! If you want to sound classier, though, Hayes recommends swapping that out for “one” or “oneself.”
Examples she gives are “One establishes a good first impression when one speaks in a refined, but humble, manner” and “One does well to remember to always say thank you.”
8 Types of Phrases That Sound Unclassy, According to Etiquette Experts
1. “I don’t care.”
Just reading that phrase can feel uncomfortable, let alone saying it to someone or hearing someone say it to you. “This phrase is dismissive and disrespectful, especially in situations where empathy and consideration are expected,” Grotts says. Rather, try to appear interested. This is the polite way to handle the situation.
2. Asking personal questions when you first meet
Hold back on questions like “Are you married?” and “Do you have any children?”. These can be sensitive topics; people may not feel comfortable sharing that information right from the get-go.
“You don’t know what is happening in people’s lives, their life history, and you are in danger of making them feel uncomfortable,” Windsor explains. “Perhaps a couple cannot have children, or they have just had a miscarriage. Not a great recipe for creating rapport with someone.”
Another personal question that can come across as unclassy, Windsor says, is “Where are you from?”—particularly if the person has an accent. Instead, she encourages wording it like this: “Where’s home for you?”
“This allows the person to whom you are talking the freedom to offer as much or as little information as they wish,” she explains. “They may come from a war-torn country so they may not feel comfortable saying so. This allows them to either say ‘Oh, I live in London’ or ‘Oh, I live in London but I'm from….’”
3. “Anyways” or “anyhows”
While these words are very common in North America, Hayes says, they aren’t technically correct. “These words do not have an ‘s’ on the end,” she says. “Don’t add an ‘s.’"
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4. Calling someone by a name other than the one they introduced themselves with
Giving a person a nickname can be a way to show affection or deepen a relationship. But when you first meet someone, doing so can create an uncomfortable situation.
“For example, if someone is introduced as ‘William,’ don’t call him ‘Bill’ unless he says to,” Windsor says. “Not paying attention to people’s names shows a lack of respect as names are ‘the sweetest sound’ a person can hear, according to Dale Carnegie.”
5. “You’re overreacting.”
Sure, maybe your friend’s reaction to something her boss said seems more intense than yours would be. But phrases like “You’re overreacting”—besides being a possible sign of gaslighting —can “automatically invalidate someone’s feelings or concerns, making them feel misunderstood and disrespected,” according to Grotts.
Related: 22 Surprising Phrases That Make You ‘Instantly Unlikeable,” Psychologists Warn
6. Asking what they do for work
If this is one of your top-of-mind questions when making conversation, you aren’t alone. Especially in a capitalistic society, it makes sense that career talk is natural—and, it’s not the classiest.
“This can sometimes be perceived as a little too invasive or pigeonholing someone, especially at a social event,” Windsor says. She adds that the conversation can also quickly become awkward if the person doesn’t feel comfortable revealing what they do (or if they're unemployed).
Instead, she encourages making conversation about the venue, how they know the host, current affairs that aren’t too controversial, hobbies and summer plans. Basically, keep it light!
7. Any phrase with foul language, swearing or cursing
Perhaps unfortunately, sounding classy means leaving your favorite curse word at home. “Foul language is vulgar, offensive and undignified,” Hayes explains.
She adds it’s especially inappropriate and unclassy in a public setting, such as a workplace, grocery store, school event, church or charity gathering, and while using public transportation.
8. “You’re wrong.”
To be clear, this doesn’t mean you have to agree with everyone’s opinion all the time. Rather, it’s about how you handle disagreeing. “This direct confrontation can be disrespectful and can escalate disagreements, especially if not handled with tact and diplomacy,” Grotts says.
Better ways to express a different opinion include phrases like “It is my understanding that…” and “I appreciate your perspective. In my opinion…”.
Hopefully, these 15 examples are a good starting point for the next time you want to sound classy. It was a pleasure sharing this with you, reader! (*wink wink*)
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Sources
- Laura Windsor , a UK etiquette expert who received training from a former member of The Royal Household of Her Majesty the Queen, and a trusted advisor to international royal families and celebrities
- Jo Hayes , a CEO, etiquette expert of 13 years and speech-language pathologist who completed her master’s thesis on manners and modern etiquette
- Lisa Mirza Grotts , a 23-year authority on etiquette and certified etiquette professional
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