Is your coworker a narcissist? It's a phrase you may not have imagined yourself asking 10 years ago. However, the popularity of the word " narcissism " on social media has increased its public profile. Yet, like many social media buzz terms, the phrase has become misunderstood.
"A narcissist can be defined as someone who has an unreasonably high sense of their own importance or worth," says Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa, Ph.D., a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor. "They tend to seek the attention of others and require admiration."
Speaking of misunderstood, Dr. Lira de la Rosa says people with narcissism lack self-awareness—and others may peg them for something they aren't.
"However, they are often not aware of how they come across and tend to be dismissive of others' feelings," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says. "To the outside observer, narcissists are perceived as highly confident, but internally they struggle with low self-worth ."
Combined, all of these traits and issues can contribute to a work environment that's—to use another trendy social media term— toxic . While people aren't qualified to diagnose narcissism outside of a clinical setting, recognizing red flags can help you protect your peace. Psychologists shared seven telltale signs your coworker is a narcissist and what to do.
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8 Signs Your Coworker Is a Narcissist, According to Psychologists
1. They lack empathy
Empathy can be critical to building a positive workplace environment. However, a lack of it is one of the most significant signs of narcissism.
"Lack of empathy is when a narcissist shows little regard for the needs of others or how others may feel," says Dr. Holly Schiff, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist with South County Psychiatry . "If other coworkers have concerns or are struggling on a task or project, the narcissist will lack genuine concern."
Related: 11 Subtle Signs of Narcissism That Are Easy to Miss, According to Psychologists
2. They dominate conversations
If it's hard to get a word in edgewise with someone, they may be a narcissist.
"They are quick to chime into any conversation and make it about themselves," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says. " They may also get upset when they are interrupted or redirected. In these conversations, they also tend to gloat or highlight their own sense of importance or accomplishments."
3. They engage in belittling—big time
While a person with narcissism may be quick to toot their own horns, they often speak unkindly to others.
"They may belittle coworkers to elevate their standing," says Dr. Sanam Hafeez, Ph.D., an NYC-based neuropsychologist and director of Comprehend the Mind . "This behavior can create discord and friction, undermining team efficiency and unity."
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4. They're praise junkies
People with narcissism crave praise like you may crave coffee when limping to the end of a challenging workday.
"Narcissistic individuals demand and require constant praise and admiration," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says. "They may seek out titles in their workplace that carry a lot of clout or weight. In addition to titles, they may also name-drop a lot as a way to overstate their importance."
Everyone wants recognition. However, this need for praise can damage a workplace culture.
"Their constant craving for recognition and praise often results in a hostile work environment," Dr. Hafeez says.
5. Manipulation and blaming are their MOs
This one is often a result of a lack of empathy.
"Narcissists tend to disregard others feelings," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says. "Often, this comes down to using various manipulation tactics with their colleagues or coworkers. They may lie to coworkers or throw someone under the bus if it means that they will get ahead."
Related: 10 Classic Mind Games Narcissists Play in a Relationship, According to Psychologists
6. They seek credit where it's not due
In addition to throwing people under the bus, narcissists aren't shy about taking credit for achievements that don't belong to them, often in an attempt to keep praises, raises and promotions rolling in.
"Their decisions are primarily motivated by what will advance their own career, rather than the team goals or company vision," Dr. Schiff says.
7. They seriously lose the plot
In severe cases, their questionable ethics may put the whole company at risk.
"Narcissists might also prioritize their interests over ethical considerations, making decisions jeopardizing the company's integrity and reputation," Dr. Hafeez warns.
8. Angry outbursts are an everyday affair
Sometimes, meetings can get heated when people are passionate about a project but disagree on how to proceed best. However, narcissistic people tend to chronically run hot, and nothing riles them up faster than someone offering some perspective.
"Although narcissistic individuals appear highly confident, they have low self-esteem and self-worth ," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says. "They do not react positively when they are confronted with information that hurts them at their core. As a result, they will often lash out or become very aggressive when they feel hurt."
Related: People Who Were 'Spoiled' as Children Usually Develop These 16 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say
How To Deal With a Narcissist at Work
1. Set and reinforce boundaries
Boundaries are crucial with a narcissist.
"Narcissists can be very charming but manipulative at the same time," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says. "It is important to always set appropriate boundaries with narcissists and to reinforce them whatever they break or try to move a boundary."
That said, people with narcissism struggle with boundaries because empathy and feedback are challenging. Get ready to "bubble up" reminders of whatever boundaries you put in place.
"Do this consistently so that the individual knows that you will not be manipulated by them," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says.
Related: 'I've Studied Psychology for 20 Years—Here's the #1 Way to Hold Boundaries With a Narcissist'
2. Avoid power struggles
It's tempting to engage in a back-and-forth with a narcissist, but it's a losing battle.
"Narcissists tend to feed off conflict and negative energy," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says. "They can really make someone’s job very difficult, and they often feel energized when there is a power struggle. It is important to note engaging in the power struggle as this is a trap."
3. Manage expectations
As the serenity prayer says, have the wisdom to accept what you cannot change, which includes a narcissist's behavior.
"We cannot control other people's behaviors, especially those of a narcissist," Dr. Schiff says. "Expectations may need to be adjusted. You can only control your own actions and behaviors."
Related: 35 Phrases To Disarm a Narcissist and Why They Do the Trick, According to Therapists
4. Document interactions
This one is important for your mental and financial well-being when dealing with a narcissistic coworker.
"If you find yourself working with someone who displays narcissist traits or qualities, you want to be proactive and protect yourself," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says. "You may want to document any and all interactions you have with this individual so that if things escalate, you have proof of their behaviors and any other evidence that can be helpful to shed light on these interpersonal issues."
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