Paulina Porizkova Cries in 'Vulnerable' New Video Following Deep Loss

Paulina Porizkova is giving herself room to grieve.

The supermodel, 59, opened up about dealing with loss in a candid new Instagram video this week as she marks the fifth anniversary of her estranged husband's death.

Porizkova was married to rock singer Ric Ocasek from 1989 until their separation in 2017. Ocasek, frontman for The Cars and the father of Porizkova's two sons, later died in 2019 at the age of 75.

Over the weekend, Porizkova took to Instagram to speak out about the flood of emotions she felt as she marked five years since Ocasek's death on Sept. 15, 2019, when she found him deceased in his New York City home.

In her recent post, Porizkova let her tears fall while telling her followers, "I'm not sure why this day is hitting me so hard five years later."

She went on to explain how she's been coping with Ocasek's death in the years since his passing, admitting that she spent the first two years "frantically trying" to put on a brave face.

"Four years later, I met the man of my dreams," she continued, referring to current partner Jeff Greenstein , though she said she was "once again" trying to pretend she was "all good."

"Well, it's year five, and I'm letting the tears flow. This day hurts," the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover star declared. "I will let it hurt. I have nothing to prove."

"Today, I will cry," she added.

In the caption of her post, Porizkova further described her attempt to mask her emotions about Ocasek's death for the sake of her kids and loved ones. "No one seemed to understand how much I was hurting. How hard it all was. That I was breaking."

"My level of loneliness was such that I had to go online to find someone to hear me. Yes, I understand how pathetic that sounds. I also understand it was my fault," she admitted.

Going forward, she said she will be transparent with her loved ones about her complicated emotions, telling her followers, "So today, I’m not just crying online.😁."

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