A compliment can easily brighten a guy's day. We all have a few in our back pockets, which typically resemble the stickers we got on our homework in Kindergarten. Think "Great job," "Thumbs up" and "You're great."
Simple compliments can strike a sweet chord, but unforgettable ones truly resonate with a man. They can also positively reflect on you.
"Someone who knows how to give a good compliment is also someone who pays attention," says Alexandra Cromer, LPC , a licensed professional counselor and lead clinician specializing in relationships, self-esteem, and counseling couples with Thriveworks .
Cromer says understanding how to give a good compliment is an acquired skill worth developing.
"It...will help you raise your emotional intelligence, overall levels of mindfulness and ability to read the room and engage in perceptual decision-making in interpersonal interactions," Cromer says.
Cromer shares her number one tip for complimenting a guy with something better than "good job" and why it works. She also shared a few other ways to deliver an unforgettable compliment.
Related: Fresh Out of Sweet Nothings? Here Are 125 Words of Affirmation Your Partner Will Love To Hear
How To Compliment a Guy, According to a Relationship Therapist
Get specific with what you're complimenting. More specifically: "One of the best and most specific ways to compliment someone to make sure that they won’t forget you is to compliment something that you noticed in the moment that did require some skill," Cromer says.
Ensure the compliment is genuine.
"For example, if you’re on a date and someone orders a glass of wine that you find skillful, compliment them and not just on what they did but how they did it," Cromer says. "Compliment the knowledge and also how they communicated that."
Cromer says you might note, “It seems like you know a lot about wines from how you ordered that Bordeaux! You were so clear and decisive!"
"This not only shows that you’re paying attention, but it’s a genuine compliment based on a real interaction that’s not fake, fabricated or forced," she says.
Related: 11 Common Behaviors of Authentic People—and One Thing They *Never* Do, According to Therapists
Authenticity is the secret sauce here.
"Complimenting someone on a real, observable strength or positive character trait that you’ve observed is very easy and doesn’t require a lot of mental strain on your end," Cromer says. "In dating, it can complicate things if one partner comes across as disingenuous or 'trying too hard.' Complimenting honest interactions and what you see in real life can help keep interactions authentic."
Timing is also important.
"I usually recommend that my clients deliver their compliments in person and in the moment if they can," Cromer says. "When you’re face to face with a person in the moment, you have at your disposal the most amount of verbal and non-verbal communication to decipher and interpret."
That doesn't mean you can't compliment a guy on social media or follow up with a text if you realize later you never mentioned how much you loved the vino he chose. However, Cromer says real-time interaction has fewer barriers (like the need to read between the lines to gauge a person's tone or body language).
Related: 135 of the Best Compliments You Can Give a Girl To Make Her Feel Truly Seen and Loved
5 More Tips for Giving a Man a Compliment
1. Compliment his scent
Often, guys don't just choose any old cologne or body wash.
"Many people put a lot of time, energy and effort into their personal scent, and it’s a very big part of their personality," Cromer says. "Commenting on how nice someone smells can also be a great way to discuss personal preferences and personal identity."
2. Compliment him on his failure
Plot twist? That's the point. Guys are often pressured to be strong and successful, so complimenting them on a setback can stick with them. Cromer suggests delivering this compliment when discussing topics like jobs or projects and praising him for how he's persevered in the face of adversity.
3. Compliment his eyes
Cromer admits, "This one might seem cheesy."
"Many women are used to receiving compliments on their eyes, but in stereotypical relationships in Western culture, many men state that they are surprised but flattered when a partner tells them they have 'pretty eyes,'" she says. "It’s just enough to take them off guard in a nice way."
4. Compliment a guy’s cleanliness
Notice when he made an effort to clean a personal space, such as his car, home or office. Cromer especially loves this one for people in the "dating phase."
"He’ll likely remember that you took the time to notice his hard work to make an impression on you," Cromer says.
5. Compliment his socks
Silly? Maybe (but in a good way). Unforgettable? Yes (also in a good way).
"If he wears fun or interesting colored socks, he likely takes pride in them or has fun with them and would feel very seen if you complimented his socks," Cromer says. "For a lot of men who work a multitude of jobs, socks are the only way that they can personalize their work and professional wear, so that’s a piece of his personality shining through."
Related: ‘I’ve Been a Behavior Psychologist for 10 Years, Here Are the 2 Best Tricks To Avoid Being ‘Socially Awkward'
The #1 Thing To Avoid When Complimenting a Guy
Not keeping it real. "One of the biggest mistakes that someone makes when trying to compliment a guy is to provide a compliment that is forced or is inauthentic," Cromer says. "These often do not come across as genuine and can even communicate to your partner that you are not interested, even if you are."
If you can't think of anything specific to compliment, it's OK to use more commonplace (but genuine) statements like, "I’m having a really good time with you” or “I’m so glad we could do this today."
"Simply trying to just be present in the moment and communicating your gratitude for their time spent with you is enough," Cromer explains.
Up Next:
Related: 21 Questions To Ask When You're Starting a New Relationship
Expert Source
- Alexandra Cromer, LPC , a licensed professional counselor and lead clinician specializing in relationships, self-esteem, and counseling couples with Thriveworks .
Local News
