Medically reviewed by Michelle Felder, LCSW, MA Medically reviewed by Michelle Felder, LCSW, MA I'm a mom of three with truly limited experiences in parenting (my oldest is only 8) and the toddler phase seems to be the hardest stage thus far. During the toddler stage , children are limited in the ways they're able to communicate, but they are still needy and learning how to be patient.
It's important to approach this stage thoughtfully, and to explore alternative methods to help move through tough moments. Toddlers are prone to fits of rage known as tantrums and it's tempting to get upset and react unfavorably. Here's where gentle parenting comes into the picture.
Gentle parenting is exactly what it sounds like, it's an approach that focuses on easing the child and communicating with them. Read on to learn one mom's gentle parenting hack that she used to stop her toddler's tantrum, including gentle parenting inspired tips on how to handle any future outbursts.
The Gentle Parenting Hack, Explained
Gentle parenting is a way of raising children without any shame and without blaming them for their actions. The parenting style has seen an uptick in popularity and according to a 2024 study, 74% of Millennial parents practice gentle parenting. This could be due to increased access to resources on gentle and conscious parenting . No matter the cause, this generation of parents seem more determined than ever to shape a new way of raising kids.
At least that's what I gathered after speaking to Alivia, a 28-year-old mother from Nashville, Tennessee who has seen the impact gentle parenting or conscious parenting has had on her child.
""I started learning about gentle parenting when I was pregnant. I knew I wanted to be a more conscious parent but I didn't know where to start. I watched endless videos on YouTube about the topic and I just saved the videos for when I needed them." — Alivia"
Alivia swears by a simple gentle parenting inspired hack to dissipate potential toddler meltdowns. "I was warming up some leftovers in the microwave and it needed a little more time to get warm," Alivia told Parents .
"Well, baby girl was ready to eat and was not too happy that I needed to put it back in the microwave. Instant meltdown!" She explains that in that moment, she realized that she needed to introduce a bit of fun, rather than getting frustrated.
Alivia began running around the kitchen in a bout of energy colloquially known as 'zoomies.' Suddenly, her toddler's mood instantly shifts —as she begins to laugh rather than cry. Bingo!
Alivia's tantrum hack—to keep things lighthearted—is a simple one, but a great reminder that not everything has to be so stuffy. Instead of shaming her daughter for reacting negatively when she had to reheat the leftovers again, she used gentle parenting to coax her out of her feelings of frustration.
Tips on Handling Tantrums
If you've ever been on the receiving end of a toddler tantrum then you can certainly appreciate how a mom handles the tantrum , while also knowing it's not always easy to go the gentle parenting route. Despite its challenges, gentle or conscious parenting is a largely successful approach that focuses on being less reactive and more mindful. Here are additional gentle parenting-inspired tips on how to handle toddler tantrums.
- Keep your child safe : Rather than shaming them for breaking something during an episode, clear the space for them to experience the tantrum—without any additional damages. You should make sure that there's nothing near your child that could cause harm to them or anyone else.
- Let them express themselves : Tantrums are completely normal, so don't be alarmed if your toddler has one, it's a common way to express big emotions that they might not have the words for yet.
- Maintain a positive attitude : Thanks Alivia for reminding us of this great hack. Throughout your toddler's tantrum try to maintain a positive attitude and uplift their spirits like Alivia did when she started joyfully running in circles when her toddler was on the verge of a meltdown. Bringing playfulness into a tough moment can work wonders!
- Model positive behavior : You should try to model positive behavior when you're facing conflicting feelings in your own life. Remember children are like sponges and they're usually paying attention to almost everything you do. If you're yelling and throwing things when you're upset, chances are they think it's OK to do that as well.
- Teach them to identify their feelings : Toddlers tend to throw tantrums because they do not know how to identify their feelings, which can lead these emotions to bubble and burst over into a complete meltdown. Try teaching them feeling words such as happy, mad, sad, and scared, so that the next time they feel strong emotions, you can ask them what exactly the emotions are and get to the bottom of it.
Key Takeaway
We spoke to Nashville mom Alivia about her gentle parenting tantrum-busting hack, in which she leverages an upbeat attitude and spontaneous play to instantly lift her daughter from the brink of a meltdown. We also broke down additional gentle parenting-inspired tips parents can use if their toddler is having a tantrum, these include: keeping your child safe, letting them express themselves, maintaining a positive attitude, modeling good behavior, and teaching them feeling words.
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