Are Scary Halloween Decorations Too Much for Some Kids? This Mom Thinks So

Yes, they can be scary for some kids. Here's what experts say parents can do.

In the small California town where my son and I live, Halloween is a major event. In fact, all of the other year-end holidays pale in comparison.

By October 1, the front yards around our home are fully transformed into graveyards, haunted houses, a witch's lair, or zombie central. Each year, neighbors work hard to outdo each other with their increasingly spooky and lifelike displays.

For as long as I can remember, Halloween —and all of the associated decorations—have delighted my son (now 12). And as soon as he was able to voice his opinion and squirrel away allowance, my son dove right in and began participating in the spook-fest as well.

But not all parents are on-board with Halloween lawn decorations , particularly those that are especially scary. One mom recently took to TikTok to voice her opinion regarding frightening lawn displays that upset young children during routine walks around the neighborhood.

And you guessed it, plenty of debate has ensued. Here's a closer look at the latest social media melee.

When Halloween Decor Scares Kids

The mom posted on TikTok about her frustration with scary Halloween decorations in her neighborhood and the impact that such displays can have on young children.

"I'm going to need someone to explain to me why people decorate their homes for Halloween in complete horror," says TikTok user lindswitt in her video . "We're talking scary decorations when there are neighborhood children, young children, that ride bikes, play outside, drive by these homes, for the entire month of October."

Lindswitt also brought up another point in her video: As a parent, she has the job of explaining scary decorations to her kids—and trying to shape the conversation "in a way that doesn't sound terrifying to my young children."

Before wrapping up her viral video, which generated 21.9 thousand comments and over 4.8 thousand shares, lindswitt does admit that she knows everyone has the right to decorate their homes as they see fit. But she also poses this question to all of the gung-ho Halloween enthusiasts out there: "From a humanity aspect, in a neighborhood with children, why decorate your home with such horror, in such a bold, loud, unmissable way?"

The responses are mixed

There's a lot to dig into here. But let's first take a gander at the responses the TikTok commentary generated.

On lindswitt's feed, the vast majority of viewers were…less than sympathetic.

"Because it's THEIR house. And it's Halloween," says one of the top responses on the video's comments thread. Posted by a user named Angela, the reply racked up more than 13,000 likes. Another user, named CaliforniaCharChar, replied to Angela: "Right. It's not that complicated. Walk another way so the kids don't see."

Still another commenter, whose response generated a staggering 34,000 likes, added, "As a mom of a two year old…it's Halloween…hope this helps."

A few TikTok users, however, offered a bit of support. "I have a 4yo and we just explain it's all pretend, if he finds a house too spooky to trick or treat at, we just skip that one," said TikTok user Alexis Grimm.

Halloween Season Can Be Scary for Some Kids

The TikTok court of opinion aside, let's just acknowledge that Halloween can indeed be scarier for some children than for others. As a young child, positive parenting coach and family transition specialist Megan Barella found the annual tradition frightening herself.

"I was one of those children who was scared of Halloween,” says Barella, creator of Happy Home Coaching. “Even to this day, I’ve never seen a horror movie .”

Now, as a parenting coach, Barella helps to normalize this feeling of fear surrounding Halloween and other scary events and advocate for children's best interests. She says for children under age 7, and for children of any age who are highly sensitive , the Halloween season simply might not be fun.

If your child falls into this camp, there's no need to force them to participate in Halloween-related activities, including trick-or-treating .

"Celebrating Halloween, including trick-or-treating, are purely optional and non-essential childhood activities," continues Barella. "I am definitely in the minority in this opinion as almost 70% of American consumers participate in Halloween. But, I promise you, your children can have a happy childhood without participating in Halloween activities."

Psychologist Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD, author of the book Kid Confidence: Help Your Child Make Friends, Build Resilience, and Develop Real Self-Esteem, says there are developmental stages that children go through in their understanding of death and the sorts of scary images that Halloween portrays. And some age groups may be more impacted than others.

For instance, 3- to 4-year-olds think death is temporary and not personally relevant, she explains. But grade school children, in a general way, understand that death is permanent and that all living things die and "they may find symbols like skeletons or the grim reaper frightening."

What To Do if Your Kid Is Scared of Halloween

Whether it's neighborhood decorations that children pass by during the month of October or by going door-to-door on Halloween night, here are a few tips to help children navigate their fears surrounding Halloween imagery.

• Prepare them. To get children ready for Halloween, find a calm and connected moment to let them know that some people think it’s fun to be scared. This could include explaining that "this time of year, some people decorate their houses with scary things for fun. Other people don’t think it’s fun to be scared," says Barella.
• Narrate. With toddlers and preschoolers, it helps them if you can describe the narrative of what just happened, suggests Dr. Kennedy-Moore. That may sound something like: “We walked by that house and you heard the spooky laughter coming from the plastic witch. It scared you because you didn’t know it was just a recording, like music on my phone," says Dr. Kennedy-Moore. "Then we kept walking and nothing happened.”
• Emphasize that decorations or costumes are not real. Explain to your children that the decorations they're seeing around the neighborhood are just rubber, plastic, or cardboard, continues Dr. Kennedy-Moore. "Explain to your child that no one is actually hurt by the decorations, but some people find creepy things funny or exciting. It’s OK for people to have different interests or tastes," says Dr. Kennedy-Moore.
• Provide a positive presence. When passing by scary decorations, give your children support, says Barella. This could include a hug or hand on the shoulder. "Model calm and supportive empathy in your facial experiences," explains Barella. "This can let your children know you are there for them and that they are safe."
• Encourage your children to reflect on their feelings. If scary things are not fun for your children, give voice to this experience, says Barella. This might sound like, "You don’t like scary things. Lots of people don’t like scary things. This month, let’s try to stay away from scary things," Barella says. Listening to your children’s experiences, and respecting their temperament, including their fears and concerns, and then developing a plan of action is part of affirming secure attachment, Barella adds.
• Find the positive. Focus on what your children enjoy about this time of year. Do they like the leaves changing colors, the cooler days, apples, candy, going to the pumpkin patch? Develop a list of all the things your children do enjoy about this time of year, suggests Barella. "Finding non-scary images of all these aspects of the season can give children a different focus area," she says.
• Don’t try to protect your child from all things Halloween. By trying to shield a child too much, you’re confirming that their fear stems from real danger, suggests Dr. Kennedy-Moore. "It’s like saying to your kid, 'You’re right, darling! Even the mention of Halloween is much too dangerous for you to handle!'"

Bottom line? Halloween may never be your child’s favorite holiday, but in the U.S., it comes around every year, so try to find ways to help your child tolerate it, advises Dr. Kennedy-Moore.

"Look for things you can do to help your child find some fun in Halloween," she says. "Reading books or watching movies with gentle Halloween themes might help. Carving pumpkins or making Halloween-decorated cookies could be enjoyable rituals."

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