La La Anthony Shares Her Secret to Raising an Empathetic Teen (EXCLUSIVE)

The actress talks about the lessons she's teaching her 17-year-old, and the ones she's learning herself.

A piece of parenting advice actress La La Anthony says she wishes she would’ve paid attention to earlier is how quickly the years feel like they go by.

“You do hear people say it's gonna go by really fast, and you're like, ‘No, it's not.’ And then you look up and your kid is 17, getting ready to go to college,” says the BMF star . “It's just so hard for me to even wrap my mind around that.”

But she says she’s loving this season of parenting her son, Kiyan Anthony, a senior in high school. She considers herself a “cool mom,” who knows all about teen slang . Her favorite one is “ rizz ," aka charisma. She and Kiyan can talk about the fun parts of his life (they sometimes even listen to the same music!) and engage in mature conversations. “I'm very in tune with what he has going on," she says.

On top of that, she’s proud of seeing Kiyan adopting the morals and values she has been passing on to him.

“I just love seeing him grow into the young man that he's becoming,” she says. “And also, at 17, you really start to see some of the things that you've taught your child coming into effect with how they deal with the world, how they deal with people, how they answer certain questions. And you feel like, ‘Wow, all those years of drilling this in his head really paid off.’”

Teaching the Power of Charity

Two big values Anthony has been teaching her son is empathy and kindness . She does that by bringing Kiyan along to see her charity work firsthand. That includes ThreeSixty , the La La Land Foundation's prison reform initiative at New York’s Rikers Island. It provides mentorship, life coaching, legal services, and re-entry tools for 18- to 21-year-old men who are incarcerated.

In addition to getting to know the men in the program, Kiyan has also worked with his mom on a holiday program to help make Christmas possible for 400 inner city kids.

“As a parent, whatever you're trying to teach your kid, [you need to] lead by example," says Anthony. "I can't say, ‘Give back and it's important,’ and then I'm not doing it [myself]. [Kiyan] is constantly seeing a give back mentality, and he's learning that because that's what he sees.”

Passing Down Latine Culture

Another thing Anthony's passing down is her Latine culture . As a Puerto Rican from New York, Anthony says she grew up with big family traditions, especially during the holidays, and wants Kiyan to appreciate the rich culture.

“I do it by having him around family all the time,” she says. “Everyone getting together, playing Spanish music, eating Spanish food, just adopting all the things that are important to us and our culture.”

With that also comes valuing loved ones. She reminds her son to be in touch with their relatives and check in on his grandmother and cousins. “It's important to keep this close-knit family,” she says. “So, I try to do my best job at that because that's how I was brought up.”

Working on Self-Care

One thing Anthony is still learning to do is making time for self-care .

“I don't think I figured out the self-care and work balance yet; I’m a worker,” says Anthony, who, along with her acting gigs, is a producer and founder of the hair care brand Inala . “But [I’m] understanding that taking time off, taking time for myself, is a form of self-care, and it'll make me better at my job and make me better as a mom."

But she has learned the importance of advocating for herself through her experience with plaque psoriasis. About 10 years ago, she started to notice rough, itchy patches appear on her body, mainly behind her ears, scalp, and eyebrows. Her confidence took a hit, especially because she has a career in front of the camera.

After a visit to her doctor, she discovered she was dealing with the autoimmune condition that impacts the skin and affects more than 7 million U.S. adults. Children can also have psoriasis and genetics play a role.

“When I found out what it was, it was just about figuring out the best ways to manage it,” says Anthony, who partnered with biopharmaceutical company Amgen, which owns Otezla , to raise awareness. “Once I became more educated and figured out what worked for me, I was able to just move through and continue doing all the things that I love, and not worry so much about it.”

It took some trial and error to determine the best treatment for her. She was initially told to use a shampoo and wash her hair more often than was realistic for her. “Through communication, you kind of figure out what works for your lifestyle and what's best for you,” explains Anthony.

She's also learned to love the skin she's in, no matter what.

“I’m someone out here that's showing people you could still be confident,” she says. “You could still have eyes on you, be in front of the camera, and be happy, and feel good about yourself.”

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