My only exercise is jumping to conclusions

Over the past few weeks (or was it months?) I’ve been recovering from some health issues. They were not that serious, just annoying. I spent one day in the hospital and the rest of the time in bed, which is not the kind of vacation I want.

During all that time, I’ve not had much time to exercise. I asked about it when I was at the Doctor’s for my last examination. I said, “Doctor, what should I do about exercising? I haven’t been able to do much of that during my sickness.”

Looking at me rather grimly, he said, “If I were you I would exercise daily.”

Smiling at the doctor, I said, “Thank You, I appreciate that.”

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage drove me to the Doctor’s appointment and was now driving me back to the house. While driving, she looked at me and said, “Well, do you think you’re going to start exercising now? What are you going to do first?”

I just looked at her and laughed.

“What are you laughing about?” She said.

“Did you hear what the doctor said? He said he would exercise daily for me.”

Looking at me with her eyes rolling in her head, she said, “This is why I have to come with you when you go to the doctors. You never hear what the doctor says. That is not what he said.”

“You heard it as well as I did,” I said, “he said, ‘If I were you, I would exercise daily.’”

Still rolling her eyes, she said, “That is not what I heard him say.”

I was still chuckling, and then she said, “I think you have some loose marbles rolling around in your head.”

Smiling at her, I said, “Thank you, my dear, for recognizing that I have some activity in my head.”

I glanced in her direction and noticed she wasn’t laughing at all, but her eyes were still rolling.

I must say that jumping to conclusions is a great way to exercise. And it solves a lot of problems.

I had one exercise project that I wanted to do. I wanted to run to the store and get an Apple Fritter and run back. Now the problem with that is, my energy is not up to the place where I can run that far. And, sneaking out of the house at this time would not work for me at all.

I have been jumping to conclusions for as long as I can remember. That is because I don’t let people say everything on their mind. If I think I know what they’re saying, I jump immediately to what turns out to be the wrong conclusion.

When I was a young kid at home, my father would often say to me, “Son, do you want a spanking?”

At the time, I never knew if it was a rhetorical question or if he was giving me a choice. That is the only time I can remember that I didn’t jump to some conclusion.

If I look at my life, I can blame a lot of my problems on my habit of jumping to conclusions. If only I would just let people say everything on their mind and wait until they’re done to make some kind of a decision.

I remember many years ago when I met the young lady who is now The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. We were riding along in a van with some of the other young people at the Bible school we were going to.

Just before we got back to the dormitory, she said to me quietly, “Wouldn’t it be nice to be married?”

I did not know what she was talking about because I was too naïve then, so I jumped to the conclusion and said, “That would be wonderful.”

I was the last in the Bible school to know I had become engaged. I jumped to a conclusion I had no understanding about.

Under the circumstances, that was probably the best conclusion I ever reached. It just took me a long time to understand what it meant.

I jump to conclusions because I think I know what that person is talking about. I wouldn’t get into so much trouble if I weren’t so smart.

A dumb person would usually say, “What do you mean?” And then wait for the explanation.

A smart person would think he knows what that person is talking about and jumps to conclusions.

I come from Pennsylvania, and the Pennsylvania Dutch have a saying that goes like this: “Throw Papa down the stairs…” There’s a pause, and after the pause, they finish it by saying, “His hat.”

If you don’t listen to the whole sentence, you’re liable to throw Papa down the stairs. But if you listen to the entire sentence, you will throw his hat down the stairs.

There are times when I don’t listen to the entire sentence.

In my Bible reading, I discovered a verse dealing with this.

Proverbs 25:8-9, “Go not forth hastily to strive, lest thou know not what to do in the end thereof, when thy neighbour hath put thee to shame. Debate thy cause with thy neighbour himself; and discover not a secret to another.”

I get into trouble when I respond “hastily” to what I hear. I need to slow down and listen to the whole sentence, not just what I want to hear.

Dr. James L. Snyder lives in Ocala, FL with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Telephone 1-352-216-3025, e-mail jamessnyder51@gmail.com, website www.jamessnyderministries.com