York's Fat Tomato Grill owner honors late son’s dream: 'He's right here with me'

YORK, Maine — Charlie Caramihalis often says his late son Nicholas is always “on his shoulder” as he heads to work each day to run the Fat Tomato Grill .

This Aug. 28 marks the first anniversary of Caramihalis purchasing the York Village staple from longtime owner Dan Poulin. The purchase was a heartfelt tribute to Nicholas, a baker who worked at the University of New Hampshire and tragically died by suicide at age 29 in 2018.

Inside the sandwich shop, a sign on the wall tells customers that the Fat Tomato Grill remains a father-son effort, featuring a framed picture of Caramihalis and Nicholas together. Statues and pictures of elephants, Nicholas’ favorite animal, are also displayed around the shop, keeping his memory alive.

“He and I always dreamed of opening our shop together,” Caramihalis said. “That’s what gives me hope and strength every day, knowing that he’s right here with me.”

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Father and son dream of opening a shop together

Caramihalis shared his son Nicholas faced numerous challenges early in life, including physical health issues and struggles with depression and anxiety. Growing up in Sanford, Nicholas enjoyed wrestling for his high school team. However, during his senior year, doctors discovered he was born with a congenital dislocated hip, forcing him to stop wrestling.

Despite this setback, Nicholas graduated and pursued a different path, studying culinary arts at UNH. According to his father, he was a gifted baker, excelling in making wedding cakes and other types of production baking.

Caramihalis shared a culinary path with his son, having spent 41 years teaching culinary arts and nutrition at UNH. The son of a teacher and a commercial fisherman, Caramihalis said he was instilled with a strong work ethic. He retired with tenure, having also worked as the food service director in UNH’s Memorial Union Building, known as the MUB.

Caramihalis said Nicholas, after graduating from college, took a job at UNH and the two would carpool to work. That is when they talked about joining forces to open their own business.

“He and I always dreamed of opening our own shop together,” Caramihalis said. “Something I could buy, turn over to him when he was ready, and then I’d play in my sandbox, come and go as I please.”

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A day this father will never forget

Caramihalis said he was long concerned about his son’s depression. He said Nicholas took medication that would help him, but he would often stop taking it.

“I told him, 'Look, it’s because your body doesn’t make something that you need naturally. It’s not a drug. It’s something that you need so you can function,'" Caramihalis said.

Caramihalis never heard his son talk about suicide, except for Nicholas’ promise he would never take his own life.

“What he always said was, ‘Dad, you don’t have to worry about that. I love you too much,’” Caramihalis said.

The two drove together to UNH on the morning of Sept. 5, 2018, like any other day. Caramihalis taught his classes and Nicholas worked in the bakery at Holloway Commons.

“We did what we always did, kissed one another, ‘I love you son,’ ‘I love you dad,’” Caramihalis said.

As Nicholas dropped his father off, he rolled the window down, Caramihalis recalled.

“He said, ‘I really do love you dad,’” Caramihalis said. “That was it.”

The next call Caramihalis got that day was from Nicholas’ girlfriend. Nicholas had been found in his father’s backyard. He left a note explaining that “life was more than he could bear,” Caramihalis said. He apologized in the note, including for leaving behind a young daughter.

Caramihalis believes his son was “tired of being tired,” he said.

“I think he hung himself in my backyard because he knew that he’d be safe,” Caramihalis said. “Not to punish me but because he knew he would be found.”

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Fat Tomato Grill is a tribute to Nicholas

Caramihalis said his son’s death shattered their dream of opening a shop together, but it did not end the dream. Having lived in York full-time for 20 years and serving as a volunteer firefighter with the York Beach Fire Department for 15 years, Caramihalis felt deeply connected to the community.

Last year, he learned that the owners of York House of Pizza were selling their business. Pizza had been the original idea for the shop he and his son had envisioned. However, the price was too high, and the pizzeria was sold to someone else. Despite this, rumors of Caramihalis’ interest in a shop spread. He then encountered Dan Poulin, who had opened the Fat Tomato Grill in 2011.

“He said, ‘Hey, I heard we’re going to have another friend in the Village,’” Caramihalis recalled.

Caramihalis told him the deal fell through with York House of Pizza, but the conversation planted a seed. He said that same summer, Poulin reached out about selling him the Fat Tomato. His cook was leaving, Caramihalis said, and Poulin was ready to move on.

“He closed on the 26 ^th , I opened on the 28 ^th ,” Caramihalis said.

The menu stayed mostly the same, although he dialed back a few items. Caramihalis said he tried to keep prices the same, even though the cost of ingredients and other supplies continues to rise.

“I’m proud to have maintained the standards that Dan had come to be known for,” Caramihalis said.

While Caramihalis said his son looks down on him, he said he still has no one to leave the shop to when it’s time to retire. The prospect of doing so anytime soon, he said, is unlikely given his desire to stay busy.

“I retired twice. Failed miserably at it,” Caramihalis said.

Caramihalis said he struggles with sadness for the loss of his son, as well as the recent passing of two brothers. Two years ago, his younger brother Peter died from pancreatic cancer less than a month after his diagnosis.

To keep going, he said he borrows a mantra from his other brother – “get through the next 5 minutes.” He also wears a gold necklace with an elephant, which he said his son loved for their combination of power and peacefulness.

“I fell in love with it because that was my son’s favorite,” Caramihalis said. “It keeps me closer to my son.”

This article originally appeared on Portsmouth Herald: York's Fat Tomato Grill owner honors late son’s dream: 'He's right here with me'