How can I be okay when people hurt me?

Old souls are sensitive

Girl Playing OutdoorPhoto byb13923790 from Pixabay

You can’t. And you shouldn’t.

There is no point in being okay when people hurt you. It means you have poor boundaries, and others take advantage of that.

Some of us are sweeter than others; it’s just the way we are. We come to Earth kind, gentle, sometimes shy.

We want everyone to be happy. We want to be everyone’s friends. So we accept all sorts of things in the name of friendship and peace.

This is how we are actually prepared for an important life lesson.

Eventually, we have to understand that as much as we would like the world to be perfect, nice, gentle, sweet and so on — it is unrealistic. At least at this level.

People are different. Everyone expresses himself or herself in different ways.

We have to accept this fact.

And this does not mean losing our heart because the world is so “dark.” Many gentle souls have made this decision and it has been counterproductive to their evolutionary journey.

No.

Instead, we should use the opportunities we’re given to learn important lessons.

We should open our eyes to the fact that others live according to their upbringing, and that we do too.

We should keep wishing the best for the world in terms of love, kindness and peace. It shouldn’t blind us however. We shouldn’t become biased by our ideals.

As we proceed in this manner, naturally, we establish firm boundaries.

We love, and accept others. We thank them for the lessons they taught us. But, if we don’t resonate with someone, there is no need for us to hang around them any longer.

We have free will. We have the right to choose what is right for us. And only we can know what is right for us.

Going a little bit deeper; if you have already been hurt by people, which is normal if you live on planet Earth — give yourself the time to process these hurts.

In some cases, it may mean expressing yourself to those who hurt you if you still have a way to connect with them. In most cases however, you do it for yourself, and you don’t need to speak with them. All you need to do instead is give yourself some time, some space, and some perspective.

During times of quietude, what is boiling in our subconscious mind comes to the surface. That’s why people hate being undistracted. Most people can’t spend a few seconds without their phones. They need to scroll.

By paying attention to it (usually emotions and repetitive thoughts), we feel some sensations in our body, sometimes in the form of sudden unusual “spasms,” and this is the tension being released.

There is nothing to do at this point. Simply be present with whatever comes up. You will feel lighter soon.

An important thing to keep in mind is that, we do not forgive others because we’re so nice and we are being a saint. We may. But that’s not the reason why we forgive. We forgive people for ourselves. There is no point giving them unpaid space in our heart. This space is ours, and we forgive for our own peace of mind. Darkness consumes us first before it consumes others.

As you keep working on yourself, releasing limiting beliefs while healing your mental and emotional wounds — daily experiences will happen, people will be people, but to the opposite of the past; you won’t resist difficult experiences, rather, you will welcome and process them much faster, which means less accumulations of hurts.

This is for the future.

Keep working on yourself now. That’s all that matters.

Lastly...

Spirituality doesn’t need to be complicated. Dealing with emotional and mental wounds requires already enough attention and energy. If you need practical ways to heal, but also practical teachings to make sense of all the confusing spiritual information the world throws at you; I wrote a book called Spiritual Transition to help you progress on your path. You can give the book a look here.

Many blessings.