SCOT BELLAVIA: A Psalm for a Time of Questioning

A Psalm for a Time of Questioning

A Song of the author, to the theme of Before I Forget

LORD, I feel that I am being properly challenged.
Ideas that I have never had to contend with
are confounding me.
I wonder at what I do not know.
I am inept at thinking deeply.

My mind is being stretched farther than ever
Though I have always thought myself capable of the task—
a truth seeker above all else—
I was a novice to the sport.
But these issues are not a pastime; they are matters of the soul.

Is my rambling tongue evidence of my ignorance?
Must I have citations at the ready,
or can I search for them?
I looked away as I make my case—in thought or self-doubt?
I sat silently for so long; can I return to what was said an hour ago?

I’ve listened to so many on the left—they were my other.
But now I am the most liberal of those present.
Makes me wonder,
is there a middle ground?
How much of all of this is us speaking on behalf of our sources?
Selah

No, there is truth, but why is it not absolutely clear?

Have I always had the upper hand in a debate?
Have I always either accepted something new or rejected it
out of hand?
Have my conversations never been in-person?
Have I ever thought critically?

I had in mind that the others were a monolith.
Now, I sense that it is as much the content of the issue
as the character of the man.
His opinions are as varied as mine.
Would I rather my assumptions about him be wrong or my convictions about the topic?
Selah

The answer is the former.
Spurgeon said, Discernment is knowing the difference between
what’s right and what’s almost right.
I had had such confidence before because
I had been straw-manning people who straw man.

But the man before me is flesh and bone—I cannot hate up close.
O God of all wisdom, save us from being overly apologetic
both in our logic and in our manners.
Let us listen and learn.
Lead us to delight in your law, meditating on your word day and night.

Only in it is absolute truth.

– Scot Bellavia

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