Choose To See the Flower Not the Thorn

How changing one word improved my life.

A rose bush.Martin Hetto/Pixabay

There’s a popular meme on social media that says that gratitude won’t fix your mental illness. It’s a true comment, but the meme makes many people think that gratitude is unimportant.

In reality, practicing gratitude is one of the most helpful things you can do to maintain your mental health.

A chemical imbalance in the brain often causes mental illness. No amount of positive thinking is going to fix that. However, the goal of gratitude isn’t to fix your mental illness. Instead, gratitude is about improving your mindset and overall mental health.

When you change what you’re focusing on, your entire life changes.

That may sound like an oversimplification, but I promise you it’s true.

Amy Weatherly once said, “Some people could be given an entire field of roses and only see the thorns in it. Others could be given a single weed and only see the wildflower in it. Perception is a key component to gratitude. And gratitude a key component to joy.”

When I chose to see the flower, my life improved. Let me explain.

Changing One Word

For many years, my reply whenever someone asked me how I was doing was to say, “I’m fine.” It might have been okay, except my mother, the person who most loves to share my truth, would then go behind me and tell people I wasn’t fine at all.

“Fine doesn’t mean fine,” she would tell them. “Fine means his mother needs to worry.”

From then on, every time I said that I was fine, I saw a look of distrust on people’s faces. Thanks, mom.

When you have a mental illness, you don’t want it to be your entire identity. After my bipolar disorder diagnosis, many of my close friends only saw the broken part of me. They knew my poor choices had led to a hospital stay, and while their intentions were good, the constant focus on my mental health overwhelmed me.

I decided to make a change. I chose a different reply to use when people asked me how I was doing. Instead of saying I was fine, I told everyone, “I’m good.”

I wasn’t really good, at least not in the beginning, but that reply didn’t elicit the doubting look on people’s faces.

A funny thing happened. After a few weeks of telling people I was good, I actually felt better. My shift in one word improved my mindset. With a better mindset, I started to live up to what I was saying.

One Lesson, Many Uses

I applied the lesson to other parts of my life and practiced daily gratitude. In time, I started a gratitude jar. It became a tangible place where I could see how many blessings were all around me.

As I focused on the positive things, my life improved. Choosing to see the flowers made me see more of the beautiful things in the world. Now, most days, I tell people, “I’m good,” and it’s true.

The words you say matter. So does your mindset. Where you choose to focus can either make your life positive or negative. I choose positive.

Choose to see the flowers. Choose Joy. Practice gratitude.

Until next time, keep fighting.