Misconceptions About Bipolar Disorder Can Stop Some From Getting the Help They Need

Common misbeliefs about bipolar disorder and how to fight them.

Depressed man looking at the ocean at sunset.Photo byMohammad Ali MohtashamionUnsplash

When I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I only had a vague idea of what the diagnosis meant.

I knew of a young man who bought several cars from various dealerships over the course of one week. He disappeared for days at a time and had violent outbursts. Though it was always told in whispers, he had bipolar disorder.

The little I knew of him made it impossible for me to think I had bipolar disorder. The glimpses of bipolar I saw in movies and television further blurred the lines. If that was bipolar, then it was certainly not what I had.

My misunderstandings about how the disorder manifested were only part of the problem. I had many misconceptions about mental illness. Here are a few things I wish I knew when I was first diagnosed.

Mental Illness Is Not Weakness

It’s a sad reality that many still believe mental illness equates to weakness. That belief is absolutely false. It’s a common misconception about bipolar disorder, and one that keeps many, men especially, from getting help. Whether you are healthy mentally has nothing to do with your strength.

When the voices in my head got too loud, and my thoughts ran was such speed that even I couldn’t follow them, I knew it was time for me to tell someone what was going on. But I also knew it meant acknowledging that I needed help.

I was a strong and independent young guy. One of my foundational beliefs growing up was to trust no one. That’s a long story for another post, but suffice it to say, it was essential to me not to show weakness.

I’d love to say I overcame this misbelief quickly. Truth be told, now three decades later, there are still times I struggle with the misbelief. Every time I have to cancel social plans because of anxiety, there’s a voice inside condemning me for being weak.

I know the voice is wrong. It’s just one of the false voices that sings in the negative chorus in my head. But the thought is still there and was especially loud in the beginning.

Medication Is Not Magic

The little I knew about mental illness was barely even enough to fill a 3"x3" sticky note. While there were people in my life coping with mental illness, and even bipolar disorder, no one was talking about it.

There was a part of me that understood mental illness was just that: an illness.

Everyone who talked about the young man mentioned above said that if he stayed on his medication, he acted fine. To me, those words meant medication was magic. Take a little pill, and everything will be okay. Blue pill or red pill didn’t matter. Just take one, and everything would change to a sparkling sunny day. It was another misconception about bipolar disorder that was keeping me stuck.

Here’s the truth: no pill is going to make everything rainbows and butterflies. Well, at least no pill you should take for your mental health. And I’m not advocating taking any other type of pills. Sorry, Morpheus.

It took me several years and over 30 different medications before I found the right combination that allowed me to still feel some emotions and be a functioning member of society. The months getting to that point were full of weeks of sleeping 20 hours a day or battling intense headaches that made it a struggle to walk to the bathroom.

Part of the problem was I believed the right medication would make my world a vibrant paradise. I was taking meds, so I thought I'd never feel sad, angry, or disappointed. Those colorful pills were supposed to keep me from feeling despondent and unable to face the world. Anxiety was going to be a word I would never think of again.

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Wrong. Wrong. Wrong!

Medication is not magic, unless maybe you're Neo. It’s simply a tool in your mental health toolbox.

No matter how wonderful the drugs, there will still be days when you’re sad. You'll have bad days when taking a shower feels too hard. Anxiety will overwhelm you and make it a challenge to leave home.

There is no pill that can cure mental illness. Not yet, anyway. Some of your negative feelings are just normal feelings. You were meant to feel sad, angry, and disappointed. No emotions would be worse than too many. Trust me, I took some medications that made me completely numb, and there’s no quality of life when you're a walking zombie.

Even so, in the beginning of my bipolar journey, I believed medication was magic. When those first little green and white pills didn’t fix everything, I slipped into despair. My internal choir told me I was beyond help. That false belief made the next few years much harder than they needed to be.

Medication Is Long Term

For some of you reading this, you may live a full life without medication. I applaud you. There are different types of bipolar disorder, and among those types, there are varying intensities and severities.

For me, medication is a necessity. I’ve never reached a point where where I no longer needed it. The idea that you can take meds for a short while and be cured is another of the misconceptions about bipolar disorder.

To this day, if I go a few days without taking my pills, I either sink to an extremely dark and foreboding place, or ascend to such heights that I believe I can fly and take over the world.

Medication is a part of my life. As much as I hate taking those colorful pills, they are here to stay. That’s okay. As much as I don’t like those tiny helpers, they allow me to live a mostly sane life.

Yellow police tape with the words, "Crime scene do not pass."Photo byKat Wilcox/Pexels

Bipolar Doesn’t Make You Dangerous

Much of today’s media broadcasts the message that mental illness makes you violent and dangerous. That’s not true and a harmful misconception about bipolar disorder. In fact, people with a mental illness are generally much less likely to commit a violent act than anyone in the general population.

Of course, that doesn’t mean people with bipolar aren’t a danger to themselves.

I don’t remember when self-harm started, but I know when it was most intense. It was a time when I was dealing with unimaginable grief and didn’t feel like there was anyone I could talk to. Everyone I knew was suffering, and so it was up to me to handle my problems alone.

Self-harm became an unhealthy way for me to cope and feel something. It was the wrong way, but the misconceptions I had about bipolar made it seem like the right thing.

It doesn’t have to be. Bipolar is neither a condemnation nor a license to a life of violence. You don’t have to be a danger to anyone, including yourself.

It took me years to overcome my unhealthy habits. It’s now been many years since I stopped. My self-harm journey should have been shorter, but no one told me better.

Bipolar Isn’t Always Progressive

Another misconception about bipolar disorder is that it only gets worse with time. Typically, that’s not the case.

I know of two women whose bipolar has progressively worsened with time. As their friend, it’s been a painful journey to watch. However, with at least one of them, a big part of the problem was inconsistencies in taking her medication.

She would start her medication and reach a level point and then believe she no longer needed them. In her mind, she was “better” and stopped treating her bipolar. She refused to start again until she reached rock bottom. Often, it was only after she was confined to a hospital that she would begin recovery.

I’m past the half-century mark, and I know dozens of people with bipolar. A few are open about it, but most won’t talk about it in public.

One thing seems consistent. Those who properly treat their condition tend to have less severe cycles as they get older. The highs and lows lose some of their intensity. Either that or the patient learns better ways to deal with it.

In my case, the worst of my bipolar symptoms have improved with time. It’s not gone, but it’s a beast I’ve learned how to live with.

I’m going to add a caveat here. While the bipolar in general, the extreme highs and devastating lows, have improved, my anxiety has gotten worse. Years spent at home during the pandemic made my social anxiety much harder to handle. However, I also have generalized anxiety disorder, and it seems to be progressive. The older I get, the harder it is to be around people, to drive, and to not to worry about every little thing.

Maybe bipolar causes the anxiety. I’m not a medical professional and can’t say for sure. I like to think of anxiety as a separate entity. If so, that means that the bipolar itself has gotten better.

A woman welcoming a new day at sunrise.Photo byDanilo ĆalićonUnsplash

Things Can Get Better

When I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I feared my life then was how it would always be. In those worst moments, when all I wanted to do was stop the noise in my head, I couldn’t imagine any hope for a better future. It felt impossible that I would ever have a genuine relationship or be able to trust my emotions.

Again, I was very wrong. Just as bipolar disorder is known for its highs and lows, bipolar itself also changes with time.

Just because today seems insurmountable doesn’t mean tomorrow will feel the same. Things change, and for me, the biggest changes came after I found the right medication combination and started talk therapy.

Learning to take apart the things I was feeling, even the irrational feelings brought on by bipolar disorder, made it possible for me to face everything else. Things didn’t stay in that dreadful place, and I’m grateful I didn’t give up.

Keep Fighting

A bipolar disorder diagnosis is not the end. It’s crushing and devastating, but survivable. It's a message I repeat every week in my newsletter.

If a doctor recently diagnosed you, don’t let despair overtake you. Don’t believe the misconceptions about bipolar disorder you’ve been told. Never succumb to the darkness.

It’s a serious disorder to live with, but what’s not difficult in today’s world? Mental illness is an illness. Some days will feel like your drowning in black tar, but better days will also come.

As much as I hate it, bipolar disorder has taught me a few positive things. I sense emotions easily in others and experience a deeper intensity than many people. I believe part of my creative mind comes from bipolar-induced overactivity in my brain.

There are likely still things I believe about bipolar disorder that are wrong, but the list above is what I wish I knew in the beginning. It would have saved me a lot of time and anxiety.

If you are just starting on your bipolar journey, be open to everything. There is help available, and there is light ahead.

Until next time, keep fighting.