The 3 steps that will help you create and achieve your resolutions

Happy New Year written in the sand.Photo byengin akyurtonUnsplash

Everyone is busy talking about their resolutions. People are losing weight, changing careers, getting married, moving to dream homes, and the list goes on endlessly. No doubt you’re thinking about your resolutions, too.

Goals are good. A clear destination can help you focus and give you direction. But too many goals pursued at the same time can be depressing or even soul-crushing.

Planning your new year’s resolutions is especially hard if you have bipolar disorder like me. And even then, it depends on where you are in a bipolar cycle.

If you’re manic at the start of the year, you may create hundreds of resolutions. You feel unstoppable, and know this will be your year. Visions of your success swirl in your head as you imagine writing 10 best selling books and winning the Nobel Peace Prize.

On the flip side, if you’re in the grips of bipolar depression, you may feel all goals are impossible. You may refuse to make any resolutions because today you can’t even get dressed. You may feel imprisoned by your mental illness and doubt you'll even still be here tomorrow, so New Year's resolutions are pointless.

Is there a way to find a happy balance? Can you pursue New Year's Resolutions without triggering yourself? Today we’re going to try.

Finding the right resolutions with bipolar disorder and achieving them takes 3 simple steps.

Step 1

The first thing to do is to think about all the goals in your head. Grab a piece of paper or open a notes app on your phone and make your list. Write down everyting that pops into your mind. If a thousand ideas come tumbling out, that’s fine. Write them all down and you'll clean them up later.

Step 2

The next step is to go through your list and cross out all the things that are unreasonable expectations. You’re probably not going to write 10 books this year. You won’t be the one to bring about world peace. And no matter how much you flap your wings, you’re never going to fly without an airplane.

Cross out all the things you know will never happen. You know what I mean. You're not going to live on Mars, date Ryan Reynolds, or win a Grammy and an Oscar this year.

Then, go through your list again and mark out all the things you put there because you felt you should. Guilt is never a good motivator, so keep it out of your resolution process.

If you wrote “lose weight” on your list because you know you should, but have no plans of changing your diet, cross it off. If you listed "run a marathon" but you hate running, draw an X through that one as well.

Focus on goals that you both want to do and are possible.

Step 3

Finally, go through your list for third time. This time circle the five things that are most important to you. Those are the five tasks you will focus on this year, but only one at a time.

Instead of creating dozens of bipolar resolutions and not sticking to any of them, you’re only going to create one. Look at the five items on your final list and pick one. Write that goal on a separate piece of paper.

Having a goal is only part of the process. You also need a plan to get there. So take your goal and break it down into as many steps as you can. Let's look at an example.

Chocolate cakePhoto byUmesh SonionUnsplash

Think of a cake

Suppose your goal is to bake a chocolate cake for your best friend. Your end goal is giving your friend the cake, but before you can do that, there are steps you must complete.

Here’s what those steps might look like:

1. Watch baking shows or have someone show you how to bake a cake.
2. Research chocolate cake recipes.
3. Make a list of ingredients
4. Go to the grocery store and buy the ingredients
5. Bake the cake.
6. Give the cake to your friend.

Break your resolution goal down into its smallest pieces. Then focus on only one step at a time, and celebrate every time you complete a step. When you recognize your sucesses, you'll have more confidence to keep going.

By focusing on the small steps, things are less overwhelming. This is true no matter what goal you’re pursuing.

Many people start the new year with the resolution to be healthier. Vague goals are rarely useful. You need a specific destination and a plan to get there.

Every day as you work toward your prize, focus only on the step that’s in front of you. Take as much time as you need. You’re not in a race. When you reach the finish line, pick another goal and repeat the process.

It's okay to skip resolutions

Sometimes resolutions don’t work out, and that’s okay, too. Not everyone thrives the same way, and if resolutions stress you out, skip them altogether.

You don’t have to wait until the beginning of the year to put a plan into motion. If you want to change your life, start today, whether it’s January 1st or September 15th.

To conquer your resolutions with bipolar disorder, follow the same process to narrow down your list to one goal, break your goal into small steps, and get started on the first step.

You can improve your life, even if you’re battling mental illness, but you need to do it one step at a time. And when you bake that cake, I’d love a piece.

Until next time, keep fighting.