Kraken Oliver Bjorkstrand Suffers Through Farce Of All-Star Draft

Fill a room with Nobel Prize winners. One of them will be considered the least brilliant. Fill a room with supermodels. One of them will be considered the least attractive.

Fill a room with NHL All-Stars to be drafted by each of four team captains. Someone will have to be last chosen.

That's what happened to Seattle Kraken All-Star Oliver Bjorkstrand, who wasn't even actually picked to join Team MacKinnon at today's "draft" in Toronto.

There was Bjorkstrand awkwardly sitting among the Final Four, with the N.Y. Rangers' Vincent Trocheck, Anaheim Ducks' Frank Vatrano, and San Jose Sharks' Tomas Hertl.

Yeah, this is wayyyyy more fun than relaxing on a beach in San Diego, Bjorkstrand's vacation plan prior to being named an All-Star.

Also, way to discriminate against the Pacific Division, captains!

This process wasn't any fun when we were picking sides for kickball in 4th grade. What made the NHL think it would be a good idea to shame elite athletes the same way?

For extra cringe, the draft was televised by ESPN in the U.S. and Sportsnet in Canada. If this sounds like a game show, listen to co-host David Amber: "Let the drama begin." Or co-host John Buccigross: "Four teams of 11 will play this Saturday for cash prizes!"

All that was missing was the awarding of the final rose, a la "The Bachelor." But like any good reality show, the final four undrafted players were left to squirm during a commerical break.

Back from break, the agony is almost over.

No, it isn't.

Three players get interviewed. Celebrity captain Tate McRae gets interviewed. (Ooh, maybe she'll be next season's Captainette.) Maple Leafs legend Dave Keon, who deserved better, gets trotted out to say a few words.

(Keon's longtime estrangement from the Leafs - now THAT would make a good reality show.)

Then, the final indignity. None of the Final Four get to hear their names called at all.

The NHL, tacitly admitting the embarrassment inherent in the format, hands each of the players an envelope. Once opened, it will reveal to which team they've been ASSIGNED.

Oh, and which player was last to open his envelope, by which point he didn't need to, because only one team was left? Oliver Bjorkstrand.

Idle and unverified speculation: is this NHL commissioner Gary Bettman's revenge? I wonder how long he had to wait before being picked in 4th grade kickball.