As Lonely Teens Turn to AI for Company, Experts Are Worried: 'Those Are Not Relationships'

AI (aka artificial intelligence) is inescapable these days. You can hardly search on Google or scroll through social media without stumbling across AI-generated answers to search questions or not-quite-lifelike AI images designed to fool your eyes. Of course, one of the biggest concerns around AI is how our kids are using it and how much it’s changing, well, everything about growing up, from how they talk to their friends or tackle homework to how they deal with the most human of emotions, like loneliness .

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A new report from Common Sense Media took a closer look at all of the above, and while the report focused on the intersection of AI and school, it also unearthed some notable statistics about how teens use AI to feel less alone, and for help with personal problems.

The report, based off a nationally representative survey of over 1,000 teens, found that 15 percent of respondents said they’ve used generative AI to keep them company — aka to stave off loneliness. Of those teens, 17 percent were girls (vs 11 percent boys). Black teens were also more likely to use AI for this purpose, with 26 percent of Black respondents saying they rely on AI for company compared to 11 percent of white and 18 percent of Latino respondents.

Loneliness is considered a mental health issue because of how closely it’s related to things like anxiety and depression. And it’s not just mental health either; among adults, loneliness has been linked to dementia, stroke, and heart disease, among other physical health issues .

Of course, the way to become less lonely is to develop genuine connections with other people, like friends or family members. There’s not a lot of research out there on whether AI can actually help loneliness (and none, that we could find, focusing on teens) but a 387-person survey conducted by the nonprofit news organization The Conversation found that while “social support can come from either humans or AI – and that working with AI can indeed help people,” AI can’t totally replicate human-to-human connection. The authors concluded that “entirely replacing in-person friendships with robot friendships could actually lead to greater loneliness.”

So what does it mean that teens are starting to rely on AI for support with loneliness — and more? Because the Common Sense report also found that 18 percent of teens surveyed use AI to get advice on personal issues — and that, once again, the numbers for teens of color were higher. According to the survey, 25 percent of Black teens and 22 percent of Latino teens used AI for help with personal issues, compared to 14 percent of white teens.

As parents, the idea that a computer is stepping into support your teen is understandably a little jarring — and scary. “We have become a society that is so comfortable to think we are having relationships through our devices and we’re not,” Jennifer Kelman, a licensed clinical social worker and family therapist with JustAnswer , told SheKnows. “Those are not relationships. Relationships are face-to-face human interactions that enhance us, and we’ve lost the art of interpersonal connection because of our devices .”

And Kelman says the new report, and especially the numbers on loneliness, shows just how much teens are yearning for the real deal. “What [teens are] saying is, ‘My goodness, I’m so lonely… I’m longing for that connection,'” she explains. “But nobody’s having connection because their faces are looking down in their devices.”

Kelman also points out the movement of “AI boyfriends” — using AI as a romantic companion — as another example of AI replacing integral person-to-person relationships. “If we don’t know how to get along with people and we don’t know how to connect and look at someone in the eye, then what could be better than having the AI boyfriend who does everything I ask them to?” she explains. “It’s almost like, why wouldn’t [teens] go for that when we’ve just handed them this new technology?”

But the thing is that AI can’t fully replace the deep fulfillment that comes with a true connection to another person. So how can parents help their teens, who might be using this technology to fill that void? It starts with a conversation and showing genuine curiosity in their life. And it’s about sustaining that curiosity and openness, letting your teen know that they can come to you whenever and wherever, with whatever they need to talk about.

Sure, AI can be there for them at a moment’s notice, with instant solutions that might or might not work. But you, as their parent, can give them something AI can’t: a genuine love for them that comes from knowing and caring for them their whole lives. That true, deep connection is something AI can’t replicate, and it’s what can help to soothe your teen’s loneliness, whenever it strikes.

Before you go, check out our favorite mental health apps: