The 5 Things a Good Man Will Never Do in a Relationship

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When my friends and I finally met up recently, the topic of our conversation quickly turned to the scarcity of good men available for dating.

When I asked Alicia what she meant by “good men,” she listed qualities like intelligence, a sense of humor, a fit physique, good grooming, and independence. While these traits are certainly desirable, a healthy relationship is built on more profound attributes like honesty, trust, and communication.

Instead of compiling an endless list of qualities, let's focus on what good men will NOT do in relationships. Recognizing these red flags can help you avoid wasting time on the wrong person.

“Being a ‘good man’ is something you do, not something you are.” — Luvvie Ajayi

1. They Don’t Harm Your Emotional Health

A close friend called me late one night to share that she was getting a divorce after ten years of marriage. Her decision came after enduring constant arguments, emotional turmoil, and anxiety around her husband. This experience underscored a crucial lesson: a good man will never make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells.

As Marilyn Monroe wisely put it, “A strong man doesn’t have to be dominant toward a woman. He doesn’t match his strength against a woman who is weak in love with him. He matches it against the world.”

A good man ensures you feel safe and secure. You should never fear triggering his temper or feel the need to monitor your every word and action. Instead, he will make you feel loved, respected, and valued, allowing you to maintain your individuality. If your partner constantly makes derogatory remarks or jokes at your expense, it's a sign of passive-aggressive abuse. You deserve someone who uplifts you, not someone who keeps you on edge.

2. They Don’t Take “I Do” for Granted

Good men recognize that taking their partner for granted is a relationship killer. They understand that marriage is a sacred bond that requires ongoing respect, communication, and quality time. Love, for them, is not just a fleeting emotion but a daily action.

A quote often attributed to an unknown source says, “A real man never stops trying to show a girl how much she means to him, even after he’s got her.” This perfectly encapsulates the ethos of a good man. Good men continuously strive to be better and never cease to show appreciation for their partners.

3. They Don’t Gaslight You

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that makes the victim doubt their reality. Phrases like "You’re imagining things," "It’s all in your head," and "You’re being too sensitive" are classic gaslighting tactics.

Good men will never make you question your sanity or invalidate your feelings. Instead, they will respect your experiences and emotions, providing honesty even when the truth is hard to hear.

4. They Don’t Play Mental Games

In today’s dating scene, some men resort to mental manipulation to achieve their goals, whether by playing with a woman’s emotions or withholding affection. Such behavior is toxic and damaging.

Good men communicate openly and honestly. They understand that relationships require mutual effort and compromise. Most importantly, they respect their partners and would never use emotional manipulation to get what they want.

5. They Don’t Exploit Your Finances

Healthy relationships are about balance and reciprocity. However, some men take more than they give, often exploiting their partner financially.

Good men would never see their partner as a financial resource. They value communication and compromise when it comes to money matters. As Albert Einstein said, “The value of a man should be seen in what he gives and not in what he is able to receive.”

If your partner doesn't adhere to these principles, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.

Final Thoughts

So, what truly makes a good man? A good man will never lie, cheat, manipulate, abuse, or neglect you. He is supportive, communicative, and loving.

If these qualities resonate with the kind of partner you desire, keep these five points in mind. And if you already have a great man in your life, make sure he knows how much he means to you.