Be Kinder to Yourself: 10 Self-Compassion Tips I Wish I’d Discovered Sooner

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In today's hustle culture, prioritizing self-care often takes a backseat. I learned this lesson the hard way. Being a full-time research student and professional athlete while staying productive in writing online seemed more critical than taking care of myself.

But years later, I realized that self-care wasn’t just important—it was crucial to achieving success and joy. Here are 12 self-care tips I wish I had known earlier, which transformed both my mindset and productivity.

1. Stop Being a People Pleaser

People-pleasing often means putting others’ needs before your own, and this can lead to burnout. It’s important to strike a balance between being kind to others and staying true to yourself. Prioritize your happiness, and you’ll bring more genuine joy into your relationships.

2. Speak Clearly and Mean What You Say

Clear communication is an underrated aspect of self-care. Often, we assume that those closest to us can read between the lines, but this leads to misunderstandings and frustrations. Saying precisely what you mean, especially with loved ones and colleagues, not only reduces stress but also strengthens your relationships. Communicate openly about your needs and desires, and you’ll find that life becomes less complicated.

3. Listen to Your Instincts

Malcolm Gladwell’s book Blink highlights how our instincts often guide our decisions before we even realize it. I found that many of my best decisions came from trusting that initial gut feeling, rather than overthinking or second-guessing. Whether it’s choosing a project, making a career move, or deciding who to spend time with, your instincts are often your best guide.

4. Avoid Negative Self-Talk

How you speak to yourself shapes your reality. Unfortunately, many of us are our own worst critics. If you find yourself frequently doubting or belittling yourself, it’s time to change that narrative. Focus on empowering yourself with positive affirmations, and treat yourself with the same kindness and encouragement you would offer a friend. Your thoughts have a direct impact on your actions, so nurture positivity within.

5. Learn to Say No

Saying no can be incredibly liberating. Often, we agree to commitments out of fear or obligation, but this drains our energy and diverts focus from what truly matters. Being selective with your time is an act of self-care. Know your priorities and say no to anything that doesn’t align with your goals or passions.

6. But Don’t Be Afraid to Say Yes

Conversely, don’t shy away from saying yes to the right opportunities. Saying yes at the right time can accelerate your growth, both personally and professionally. The key is discernment—understand what you want, and be open to the possibilities that align with your vision.

7. Be Gentle with Yourself

We are often our harshest critics. Practicing kindness toward yourself is vital for emotional and mental well-being. Take time to acknowledge your accomplishments, forgive yourself for mistakes, and treat yourself with the care and compassion you deserve. You’re your most important supporter.

8. Let Go of What You Can’t Control

Worrying about things beyond your control is a recipe for frustration. In 2019, I spent too much time fixating on outcomes I couldn’t influence. Letting go of these worries through practices like meditation, journaling, and focusing on the future has been life-changing. These practices helped me stay grounded in the present and focus on what I can change, rather than dwelling on the past.

9. Avoid Drama and Negativity

Negativity can be toxic, and it’s essential to protect yourself from it. I made a conscious effort to remove myself from negative conversations, stop watching the news, and surround myself with positive people. This shift has dramatically improved my outlook and energy. Stay away from drama, and instead focus on positivity, empowerment, and the things that bring you joy.

10. Embrace Love

Finally, embrace love—not just romantic love but love in all its forms. Love yourself, your passions, and the people who bring out the best in you. When you open yourself up to love, you create space for joy and happiness to flow into your life. By loving yourself first, you send a powerful message to the world about your worth and invite more love in return.

Conclusion

In hindsight, these 10 self-care tips have been transformative for my personal and professional life. They have helped me find balance, improve my mental well-being, and ultimately lead a happier life. By incorporating these practices into your routine, you too can unlock more peace, joy, and fulfillment.