Opinion: Is He Shy or Not That Into You?

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It’s not always easy to understand if a guy is genuinely into you. Especially if he's shy.

However, there are a few clues that can help you understand if a guy likes you - yes, even if he's trying to hide it and playing it cool.

While going through this article remember the following. One sign alone doesn’t necessarily mean a guy is into you.

However, if you see all the following signs — or almost all of them — it’s very likely that he likes you and is simply scared to say it directly.

Sign #1: He Hangs Out Where He Knows He Will Find You

My friend Claudia used to attend a weekly language exchange downtown.

One day she told about the event to Mark, a guy she met at work and that she liked.

After a few days, Mark showed up at the event with a friend, and seemed particularly happy to see Claudia.

Then, after that day, he kept attending the event almost every week.

Long story short, they started dating and one day Mark confessed to Claudia he had always liked her quite a lot.

Also, he told her he went to that weekly language exchange because he wanted to see her outside of work but didn’t have the courage to ask her out at the office.

As Jeremy Nicholson explains in Psychology Today, when someone is genuinely into you, they will they will invest in the relationship; and this applies also to the very early stages of dating.

If a guy goes out of his way to see you, and you see he does it repeatedly, he is probably interested in getting to know you better.

Sign #2: He Makes Friends With Your Friends

When Mark started to attend the language exchange, he also met two friends of Claudia, Carlo and Gianluca.

He was particularly friendly with them from the first moment he met them.

In just a few weeks he made friends with them by finding things in common and talking about their jobs, favorite sports and favorite TV series.

A guy who is not into you won’t bother to get to know the people you care about.

Instead, if you see the guy you like trying to win your buddies, there’s a good chance they’re also trying to get closer to you.

Sign #3: He Gets Nervous Around You

Claudia told me that when she talked to Mark at the office or at the events, he used to get a bit nervous around her and she could see it because he fidgeted and nodded a lot.

According to research, there is a link between feelings of nervousness and attraction.

That’s why many people often get anxious and self-conscious, blush, or even sweat when they see someone they like.

If you notice the guy you like starts fidgeting, sweating, or stuttering when he’s talking to you, consider that he might be nervous because he likes you.

Sign #4: He Asks Your Friends About You

This is another thing that happened to Claudia before she started dating Mark.

One day she arrived later at the language exchange, and since Mark couldn’t see her in the room, he asked Carlo, her friend, where she was and if she was going to the event that night.

When a guy asks your friends about you, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s into you.

However, if you combine this with other signs, that shy guy you like might be genuinely interested in you.

Sign #5: He Loves to Spend Quality Time With You

Claudia’s ex, Matthew, was often busy for work and Claudia felt they almost never spent some quality time together.

Instead, with Mark it was completely different.

When they started dating, he wanted to see Claudia at least two times a week, and he always organized something nice and original for their dates. And every time they met, time flew by.

When a man genuinely likes you, he will try to see you often, and he will make your time together special.

See, when you finally start to date a guy who truly likes you, you will feel an effort from his part, shy or not shy.

Also, as Jeremy Nichols explains in an article published in Psychology Today, when someone is genuinely into you, they will invest in the relationship.

I also love how Rick Warren explains this point:

Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set amount of it. You can make more money, but you can’t make more time. When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you’ll never get back. Your time is your life.

Sign #6: He Doesn’t Make Excuses

This is one of the most important signs a shy guy likes you.

As I explained in a recent article, someone who is into you won’t consistently make excuses, postpone your dates, or avoid future plans.

They won’t tell you they need to overcome their past trauma before being able to be in a stable relationship.

A guy who genuinely likes you will probably want to take things to the next level at some point.

He'll want to see you more frequently and the relationship will flow smoothly - yes, even if he's shy.

You won’t feel you’re wasting your time with him.

Sign #7: He Wants to Impress You

This is what Mark often did with Claudia. Every time they met he told her about his recent achievements at work or at the university — he was attending a part-time MBA at that time.

Someone who’s not much into you, probably won’t make an effort to impress you.

They won’t talk much about themselves, because they don’t need you to like them.

Instead, a guy who genuinely likes you may try to impress you — because he wants you to like him.

How to Tell if a Shy Guy Likes You: Bottom Line

Knowing for sure if a guy genuinely likes you is not simple. The best way to find it out is to ask him.

However, if you don’t want to be that direct, the signs explained in this article can help you understand if he is into you or not.

To summarize, here are the signs a shy guy actually likes you:

1. He hangs out where he knows he will find you,
2. He makes friends with your friends,
3. He gets nervous around you,
4. He asks your friends about you,
5. He loves to spend quality time with you,
6. He doesn’t make excuses,
7. He tries to impress you.

Article originally published on The Truly Charming.