Book Review—Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry: A Memoir (My Honest Opinion)

I just finished reading Matthew Perry's autobiography "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing." He continually blames everyone for his addiction, especially his parents.

Book Review Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing.Photo bythe author. PowerPoint Design Creation.

In the prologue, he writes:

Hi, My name is Matthew, although you may know me by another name. My friends call me Matty.

And I should be dead.

And yes, there is a hell, Don’t let anyone tell you different. I’ve been there, it exists; end of discussion.

Although, he always prefaces his comments with, "I love my parents, and I don't blame them for..." It is obvious he cannot accept the blame for all the drugs and alcohol. But he's been lucky so far, which he acknowledges. Even though he should be dead several times over, he survived...so far.

I mean, I get it. How could you put all that on yourself? But his parents didn’t take the drugs and drink the vodka tonics. He did. I seriously hope he finds peace with himself and his past—at least enough to stay sober.

About My Struggles with Drugs & Alcohol

Actually, I’m no one to talk. I have done all of that and then some. In my early twenties in Germany, as a Soldier, I tried everything that came along. Including the big “H” heroin. I snorted it, though. Thank God, I was never into needles and couldn’t stick one in myself.

I wound up puking in the middle of the pool table while shooting. I was not sick. I didn’t feel sick—not so much as a stomachache. Oh, hell no, just the opposite. I felt F-N fine.

I smoked hash through an electric bong filled with liquid acid. Pretty high-tech for the late 70s in Germany, I thought.

Earlier, when I was at Fort Dix, I had a routine. I would take Purple Microdot or whatever was available, watch old Jerry Lewis movies, and laugh my ass off. To come down, I would take a couple of Methaqualone pills and listen to Gary Wright’s “Dream Weaver.” We called them “ludes.”

Gary Wright – Dream Weaver Official Video

One time, we even went to all-night bowling at McGuire Air force Base. What a riot that was. They had strobe lights and those neon blue lights. Holy crap, what a trip.

Then, they started having monthly urine tests, and I pretty much stopped all the shenanigans unless I was on leave, and then just the first few days. And then, it was only marijuana or mushrooms.

Oh, I still love mushrooms. It’s amusing to think about. The guy that introduced me to ‘shrooms was a Filipino named Bootchie. Now, 45 years later, I live in the Philippines and can’t find any. I don’t even smoke marijuana here.

Last summer, while I was in Maine, where it is legal. I went to Brothers and bought 3 grams for $45. It lasted me all summer, and I left some.

It was so intense I only needed a couple of pulls to make me feel righteous.

Orange Hoe marijuana.Photo byAvery Meeker from Unsplash.

I bought Orange Hoe because I loved the color.

Isn’t it pretty?

I really wanted to buy some Unicorn Poop. I mean seriously. Who wouldn’t want to try some Unicorn Poop?

Imagine somebody asking you, "Whatcha smoking?" and you reply, "Aw, nuttin', just some Unicorn Poop."

My nephew said he had some I could try later. Some others I wanted to try were Afternoon Delight, Comfortably Numb, and Scuba Steve (for obvious reasons).

As I said, I bought mine at Brothers, but the other stores I saw with more creative names were High Supply Company, Highbrow Supplies, and KannaKraft.

Maine did $160 million in sales in 2022, double the 2021 sales. That’s a cool $16,000,000 added to the state treasury. Not bad for allowing folks to do what they going to do anyway.

I smoked when I was 16 years old and still enjoy a righteous high now that I am 66. I would much rather smoke than drink. No hangovers, no wondering what the hell I did the night before.

It certainly makes writing fiction fun. However, don’t even try serious writing, like copywriting. I tried that one time and looked at the results the following day. I looked at it and wondered, what the f*ck is this?

Back to Friends, Lovers, & the Big Terrible Thing

I don’t know how Matthew Perry ever pulled off Chandler Bing as stoned or hungover as he was. He said a half gallon of Vodka lasted him two days.

He admits he once fell asleep on the couch in “Central Perk.” Until Joey nudged him, he thought no one else noticed. Maybe not.

He wrote:

Let’s not sugar coat it. At forty-nine, I was still afraid to be alone. Left alone, my crazy brain (crazy only in this area by the way) would find some excuse to do the unthinkable: drink and drugs.

Matthew and Bruce Willis.Photo bythe review author. Screenshot from the book using PowerPoint Design Creation.

He and Bruce Willis were big friends during The Whole Nine Yards filming and his three guest appearances on Friends. He idolized Bruce Willis and called him “the coolest man in the universe.”

The Whole Nine Yards (2000) Official Trailer - Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry Movie HD

Imagine, he and Michael J. Fox were the only two to have the number one movie at the box office and the number one show on TV simultaneously. That was The Whole Nine Yards and Friends Season 9 when he said he was mostly sober.

One of the most significant side effects of Oxycontin is constipation. He was doing 55 tablets a day at times. After being unable to go shit for around ten days, he was hospitalized and in a coma. He nearly died.

He wrote:

After the explosion of my bowel, I’d been through surgery and needed to wear a rather attractive colostomy bag—a look even I couldn’t pull off. There was a second surgery pending, to remove the bag…

Of course, he asked the doctor for Oxy to deal with the pain, which they gave him. He Chandler Bing, of course, they gave him whatever he wanted. Before long, he and his colostomy bag were in rehab.

He wrote:

Julia Roberts is my girlfriend. It doesn’t matter, you have to drink.

I bought my dream house—it looks out across the whole city! Can’t enjoy that without a drug dealer.

I’m making a million dollars a week—I win right? Would you like to drink? Why yes, I would. Thank you very much.

For most men and a bunch of women, that would be the pinnacle of success. What more could anyone ask for than fame, fortune, and Julia Roberts?

Near the end, he wrote:

The one thing I got right was that I never gave up, I never raised my hands and said, ‘That’s enough, I can’t take it anymore, you win.’ And because of that, I stand tall now, ready for whatever comes next.

My Opinion & Recommendation

If you loved Friends and Matthew Perry, you should read his book. Incredibly, he made it through all that he did. When you think about him watching many of his friends, River Phoenix (drug overdose) and associates like Amy Winehouse (alcohol poisoning), overdose and die, you might wonder how he kept using.

You have to understand the nature of the addict. You have no choice. It’s so easy to have that one drink to be sociable, but you can’t stop at one or two like “normal” people.

Read the book. You’ll love it.

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About the author

Stephen Dalton is a native of Old Town, ME, and a retired US Army First Sergeant with a degree in journalism from the University of Maryland. He is a Certified US English Chicago Manual of Style Editor. Top Writer in Travel, Food, Fiction, Transportation, VR, NFL, Design, Creativity, Short Story, and a NewsBreak Community Voice Pro.